Family gatherings are like torture
I'm always forced to go to see relatives I barely know, or would guess I've never seen before was I not told I'm supposed to know them. My parents always promise that we won't stay any longer than 2 hours, but it usually ends up being more like 3 or 4. They say "go, have fun" as if I can just choose to enjoy being stuck in a room full of random people for several hours.
Since I got my license, I've been saying that I intend to drive separately so that I can leave when I need to, but they tell me that thats "too much wear and tear on the car" as if being driven wasnt the cars entire purpose. Have I mentioned the ride if I go with them? They seem to HATE when I put my window down, always "its too hot" or "its too cold" The air conditioning barely even works in the back seat I always feel like im going to suffocate. Also I just cant stand to listen to their conversations.
One time I went to one of these my parents got annoyed that I got to the door first and opened it while they were still a few meters behind me. They apparently wanted to open the door together "like a family" It all just seems so performative.
I'm considering refusing to go at all if they wont let me go alone. Though, I expect that will make them mad (or, according to them "just frustrated") for a week. I've never refused to go before so I am kinda scared of how that will go.
For additional context, I'm not formally diagnosed and i dont think my parents would believe me or really care if i tried to tell them im autistic. I expect they would think they were helping by teaching me how to be normal
I really dont know what to do if anyone has suggestions i appreciate it