u/Depraved_Nation

I cold turkey quit once, and i relapsed. Some of you might remember my post, but this was me
https://www.reddit.com/r/quitting7oh/s/wsdoodrIjV

So long story short here i am again, i was able to quit and went back to normal. The reason i wanted to do it again is cause i have a concert coming up, and i don’t drink anymore so i wanted to do it for my concert friday. I wont bore you with the story, but i ended up taking it on Sunday 8/9 and fast forward to today 8/19 Wednesday currently 11:30PM I’ve been on around 120mg everyday since 8/9 Im so upset, and disappointed with myself. I would only take it when i got off of work at 4:15pm so i thought i was in control of it, and only took it throughout the day on the weekend. I would be fine at work and didn’t feel a need to take it in the day. Then it happened… i woke up, went to work today, and 2 hours in had a MASSIVE panic attack, i caved and took some around 11AM. I felt a lot better, but now i realize im right back where i was. I went to the doctor, and i was able to get more gabapentin, and they gave me some trazodone but who knows if that will help at all. Is there any advice you guys could give? Should i go cold turkey tomorrow or wait till after the concert? I had huge plans to do an official proposal to my fiancé at the concert, and i’m worried ill feel like shit in peak withdrawal so idk if i should just do it then cold turkey Saturday, what do you guys think? Any tips or tricks this time? It was a shorter time frame of taking it this time, and most of the time it was only taken after 4:15pm and around 120mg a day. I’m worried gabapentin isn’t going to do anything again, and i’m so nervous about panic attacks and insomnia. Those withdrawals last time were hell. Do you guys think it maybe won’t be as bad this time since it wasn’t as long or severe, and i know what to expect, plus trazodone this time? Im so sorry i let everyone down, it’s time to finally kick this, and i’m so glad we all have each other. This is the best group of people, and i’m so happy these groups exist. I wish everyone luck, and would appreciate any tips or advice i can get. I’m nervous as hell. I can deal with anxiety, but the panic attacks i can’t. Last time i went CT i only had the one the day before i CT, i never really had one while going CT just lingering bad anxiety. Also if anyone’s also going through this im always willing to message and boost each other up! We all got this and im so proud of putting this behind us!
(I typed this really fast before bed, i have work tomorrow. Sorry for the rushed typing and might not make sense. I will fix, and update if there’s any questions. Just to clarify it’s been 10 days at 120mg. Need tips, guidance, or help with meds or vitamins. I’ll be posting i’m multiple 7oh communities. I love you all, thank you so much. I’ll keep fixing, responding, and updating!)

I’ve been meaning to post this for the past 2 days, but have just not had energy to do it, and delay it. I’ll make it short, basically i’ve been on 7oh for a week and 6 days started on july 4th (Friday 7/17 being the last day i took it) I woke up Friday and had a massive panic attack for some reason and figured it was the 7oh, i tried to make it through work but couldn’t and dosed up again, i realized i had to either taper or quit. Next day i just chose to cold turkey. My last 3-5 days i was dosing around 80-130mg slowly going up. My last day Friday i took 140 mg my highest dose. I would just start the day with 30mg and take more through out the day and bite off chunks. I took my last dose at 8PM 7/17. I wanted to reach out earlier, all i have is gabapentin, multi vitamin, magnesium, fish oil, vitamin c drink packets, and 7 25mg librium. I’ve been taking 300-500mg gabapentin twice a day, i don’t know if i should use the librium, and should i space it out from the gabapentin. I have no clue on any of this, any help would be appreciated, and here’s the breakdown so far, also i understand i haven’t been on it or dose near as much as other people but I’m lost and dont know what to do or expect, but I’ve also heard this stuff is really fast on making you dependent so i wanna know what to expect. I’ve also been detoxed from alcohol 4 times so i’m super sensitive to withdrawals.

7/18 Wake up and have anxiety about not having it anymore, and doing cold turkey which is what i decided. Going through the day i felt super weird and was super emotional on the inside but a zombie on the outside. I didn’t feel like a real person then i would for 2 seconds then wouldn’t again. My nose was runny, and i just wanted to lay in bed all day which is what i did. I barely ate, and just felt so weird and emotionally unstable with anxiety. The night was HORRIBLE i had restless leg syndrome all night but it was in my arms for some weird reason. I laid there for hours thinking about all the bad things ive done in life and i don’t deserve me fiancé and son, and how im a terrible person. I had some anxiety waves come and go, but reminded myself it’s gonna be ok. One of the hardest parts has started, deciding to quit, and finishing the first day without, now there’s no going back. I somehow managed to get 3 hours of sleep and i have no idea how.

7/19 Today. I woke up somehow feeling kinda refreshed like i got more sleep than i really did, but had a good amount of anxiety and restlessness. I feel tired, but know there’s no way i’ll fall asleep. I decided to go to church with my family, and it was so hard to get up, and get ready. Showering and getting dressed felt like the hardest thing to do and i had no motivation. After church it felt really good to get out and see people, it made me really emotional on the inside. I’ve been spending the day with my fiancé and son which has helped me a lot as well, but my emotions are just wild on the inside, but nothing much on the outside. Overall i do feel a bit better than yesterday but i’m not to sure cause anxiety and different emotions will come in waves.

It’s now currently 48 hours in at the time of posting this, i’m really scared for work tomorrow, i have a really good job working for the city doing construction and maintaining the city. I’m worried about my withdrawals and if it will be worse tomorrow or a bit better, i’m going to be out in the sun all day for 9 hours in 102 degree weather in the texas sun. I’m worried i’m going to be miserable or potentially pass out or need an ambulance. I also can’t mess this job up or call out. I need this job for my family, and i’m so worried about tomorrow. Should i load up on gabapentin if i feel bad tomorrow, or what’s a good game plan?

I also wanna say thank you all so much and much love to all of you and everyone in this community, it makes me feel not alone and have people who know exactly what it’s like. There are others going through much worse with this ban, and have been on it way longer taking way higher doses. I can’t imagine what you are going through, and i know mine is nothing compared to some but i’m also open to message to encourage people, please feel free to reach out, we are all here and in this together. I appreciate all of you, and want everyone to know we got this, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and we WILL get through this! This stuff is horrible and disgusting, and while i’m glad it’s getting banned i believe the government should be paying for everyone’s detox or rehab. I probably explained this really bad and left out a lot that i’ll go back and edit (i’ll be posting this to multiple groups as well) Thank you all for everything, we got this!

Edit: about to go to sleep, should i do 600mg gabapentin or 50mg librium? or do a mix of both?