u/DerpyKarpy

I've known for quite a while that I'm some form of gender queer (even if I've only landed on my current label of gender fae very recently) and I've been testing the reaction of my peers and family members in regards to lgbt topics to gather how I should approach one day telling them.

When it comes to my mother (my parents are separated), she seems somewhat accepting of queer identities, despite showing much confusion and, at least to my understanding, not fully grasping what it means to be queer today. She has known for a while now that I'm bisexual and they way this has been addressed has been great! She basically never mentions it (apart from the occasional "got any girlfriend yet?" Followed by "OR boyfriend? Which still make me a bit uncomfortable) and essentially no one knows this fact but her amongst my family. When it comes to the topic of trans people tho...

I've talked to her about a friend who has decided to share their experiences with their family and, as a result, their life kinda got turned into hell. They're not allowed to leave their house and are subject to constant verbal abuse from their family (specially their mother). I mentioned this to her because that friend asked if she could stay at our place for a bit while she tries to find a new place to live, which my mom denied (it is their house so I can't exactly be mad at that decision, even if I wouldn't have denied) however what shook me most is that my mom said her mom was *justified* in how she was treating my friend???? Saying it was a "normal reaction to loosing a son" like transitioning was like dying?? And also said "maybe I would've felt and done the same thing if it was me". It sent me a lot of mixed signals and I honestly don't know what to do.

I dont talk as much with my dad about this topic (and in general) but in the conversations we do have it definetly feels like he's at least mildly opposed to gender theory and queer people in general. He has shared memes making fun of trans people and mentioned at least once how "trans women aren't real women" (creative take, I know).

So what should I do? I'm not confortable just outright telling them I'm trans, but in what ways could I slowly introduce this idea to then eventually reveal it in a way that doesn't make it a huge surprise out of nowhere?