u/Diane_m

So today 2 of my colleagues (both moms) were discussing their childbirth experience let's call them A, B. A had already told me her experience (long labour, not so empathetic husband inlaws, she has piles since delivery, her kid is 6) so she never wants to go through that again she was sharing the same with B.

Some things from their experience:

1. I learnt that even if you have normal or c-section they will give you enema in the morning and then you're not supposed to eat at all till the baby is born.

2. If you have a normal delivery they will make a small tear initially if the baby's head/shoulder is bigger then they will tear your opening more and while stitching you back they will NOT GIVE even local ANESTHESIA.

3. Your nipple might crack during breastfeeding and doctor will still suggest you to feed the child with that side as well so it will not heal atleast for 1 year.

4. Like I mentioned PILES (hemorrhoids)

All these just are just reaffirmation to my decision, just wanted to share these things just in case someone needed to know.

EDIT: To all the 'medical professionals' coming at me try to understand the difference between real experience and statistics. I am nowhere claiming that this happens to each and everyone. I have just written about two of my colleagues experiences and the women they know.

Just for the guys out there I am not saying that you don't have responsibilities so don't take it that way.

So this is for all the CF ladies out there. I am not asking if you'd have done a 180° change, just asking if you'd have considered being a dad.

Two of the biggest reasons for me are child birth and losing my individuality. As we all have seen most of the responsibilities of the child it may be health, keeping a track of their school or even raising them right falls on the mom. (If you have seen dad's do all these work great for them!)

The mother's life starts revolution around her kid and it's not like it will stop once they go to college. It is a never ending responsibility.

When I sometimes think about this, I do think I would reconsider if I could be the dad. And ofcourse I would be the emotionally present one!

PS This is for girls, I'm not asking guys because of course if you add pregnancy to your current list you'd still be childfree

I am 28F from Bangalore, have posted on this sub a couple of times (never about CF4CF though). Anyways I have seen a couple of meetups and want to know how frequent they are. Most of my close friends are in Pune and the ones that are here are married so we meet once a month or so.

I would love to know if there's a community in banglore (even COMMUNITIES with guys, though right now I'm not looking for anything)

Thanks!

Edit: just in case there was a confusion I am NOT looking to meet guys even platonically so don't DM me. I am not even looking to create a group right now as I already have too much on my plate. I am not replying to any DMs

I F(28) am CF and always been, my BF (well ex now since a couple of days) have always wanted to be a father and actually means it. I have heard him tell stories about his nephew and niece, the way he is involved (joined family) and always has dreamt about someday having his own. I also see the way his eyes light up and want to play with babies which is why I have never asked him to reconsider his stance.

Reason for me being CF-

1. I have always been scared of getting pregnant

2. I have never hated kids and I love my nephew but at the same time I can see how much toll it takes on my cousin.

3. I don't want to be burdened with responsibility, I know I am 28 but I still don't feel responsible enough to care for someone 24*7.

4. I do wanna travel and be independent.

I do have pets and I know I am maternal so it's not like I won't take care of the kid.

So I just want to hear your experiences if you have been in my shoes, which route did you choose? Are you glad you changed your mind for your partner or if you could go back you'd have stuck to your initial choice.

I knew this was coming but still it hurts so much. I have been in a relationship before but those never did hurt like this.

He was the kindest, most emotionally mature guy I have ever met. He knew when to hold my hand and lead and when to just be beside me.

It feels like my whole world is falling apart and I just can't do anything. Please tell me it gets better.

I just came across a post from a mom of a 2.5 year old kid who was asking for an opinion about leaving her kid with their grandparents because of hectic work.

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As someone who has been raised by their grandparents this did kinda hit something that I thought was buried deep. My parents didn't leave me to get a break but to provide for a better future for us (village area so no good School at that time).

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That woman literally said "she needs a bit of a break from the constant demands of parenting" I mean that responsibility comes with being a parent. Don't these people think about all this before bringing a child into this world! That is so unfair to that kid😶

Edit: for people thinking this is too harsh, I don't mean that parents should 24/7 cater to their kids. Ofcourse they need to live their own life as well and they will need breaks I am not including those scenarios. What I am saying is don't divert the responsibility of raising kids to grandparents as their thinking will be 2 generations behind (most of them atleast).

This is for people who are in their late 30's, early 40's or more. Did you break it off (when you were younger) with your partner because they wanted kids and you didn't?

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I(28) my bf(31), planning on ending the relationship because he wants kids. So this is a question to the CF people who were in this same situation years ago because I guess I'm just looking for something to validate the decision.