u/Didujustsitonmyface

I (21f) met a 20 year old guy (groomer) at 16. He treated me horribly. He’s a predator. I cut him off after I turn 18, but I was thrown into a deep spiral afterwards.

After cutting him off and blocking him I moved on with life.

In 2023 I was approached by a man (kk) i usually would call a close friend of mine. We grew up in the same spaces. Knew mutual and had a similar home life.

I was very cautious with him and we mainly chatted on social media sending annoying reels back and forth. We’d chat on ft and have yap sessions about anything. We live a few blocks from each other, but regardless of his close proximity we didn’t hang out much.

He’s also a single dad so it was easier to be distant. I was wary of his intentions. I liked him a lot and we were mutually interested at first. We hung out one evening watching movies. I was able to fall asleep near him and found his presence comforting. Not sexual. He was kind. Thoughtful. Patted me to sleep tbh. And stayed still until I woke up. Brought me my favorite snacks and yapped with me. He’s never been sexually strange. That’s probably bc, you guessed it, he likes men. Didn’t know until later. It’s always been a running joke between us that one of us is gay. I’m bisexual. I’ve explained that to him very supportive as I to him.

After that night. We decided not to pursue romantic connections. We stayed distant and mainly phone based friendship wise. But we’d still get eachother gifts for birthdays and random occasions. Check in every month. Share everything about what’s going on in life. Provide support etc. loved him and cared for him a lot.

Over time we started to grow apart and spoke every now and again.

I’ve always been extremely specific when it comes to my views on SA and grooming. He knows what that guy did to me. I told him after I realized they followed eachother in instagram.

This was in the beginning of friendship. Before any deep conversations about trauma or relationships.

He reposted something from my groomers ig page. I immediately asked if he knew him. He told me that he knew him from school but they had no personal connection. He asked if knew him. I told him that I did but didn’t want to talk about it.

Later on in the year I noticed they were dming eachother. I asked why he had lied. He said that the guy DMs him sometimes to reply to his story. He shows me their most recent chats.

I explain why I’m not comfortable around the guy. I tell him the backstory. I also ask him to cut ties with him because of this and asked if he had exposed anything about me to that guy.

He assured me that he doesn’t speak to him at all and wouldn’t share anything about me. He unfollowed the man infront of me and apologized.

He also knows about a lot of my SA trauma. He’s always been supportive when I reported my SA in 2024. He sat through everything with me after my suicide attempt.

Two days ago. I went over to work on an assignment. I wanted him to help me with writing and bounce back ideas. For the most part. He was feeding his son and getting him ready for a nap. I met his brother and his brother’s gf for the first time. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until I saw his phone.

I know his password. He left his phone with me. I saw dms from my groomer. I immediately knew he was lying to me. I searched up my name. What I found was so vulgar oh god.

My groomer had specifically sent him to me 3 years ago, with the intention of trying to sleep with me. He told KK that I was “easy”.

I can’t make this shit up.

When I confronted him about them following each other he sent screen shots to the man. Everything. My groomer coached him on how to try and manipulate me and even sent him money to get me a gift so I’d be more susceptible to fucking him.

They made fun of me. I was paraded around in that chat and like I was some slave to be sold. My groomer texted things like:

“Easy mode”
“Yea liking the story doesn't work no more”
“Say that nah you don't you just repost something your friends posted say you don't really know me”
“Play like you don't know me”
“She’s easy”

It’s sick. So sick. What kind of nonsense. And there were other women as well. Mainly my groomer sending off instagrams to KK telling him what to say.

KK never openly bashed me over text. But they would call each other. Their most recent interactions about me was from this year January. My groomer was making fun of him for not being able to fuck me. KK never defended me. He just said he doesn’t think I’m easy. He let him talk shit. Didn’t try and stop him.
He would happily comply with his manipulation suggestions.

I was at his dinning room table sick. Shaking. What I found next solidified the fact that I wouldn’t not be confronting him in his home. I found messages of him speaking with other men about me. Specifically his best friend. Talking shit. They are also fucking. I was shocked. They use and make fun of women for fun get into relationships but then suck each other off. Some strange shit. I’ll Never confront a DL man. They might lash out.
I had suspicions that he was gay or pan. Didn’t expect him to sleep with his hb who also presents as liking women and has a gf.

I went home after that and tried to act normal while i processed this. I called him when I got home told him he’s sick for what he’s done and told him to never speak to me again.

He tried to play it off as if not being all that bad bc he never had any intention of acting on those messages. He told me that he realized I was not an object after getting to know me. He said he realized I wasn’t “easy” and backed off.

I asked if that makes it any better. Is this something he does often? (he does). does he need his homebody’s permission and instructions just to try and get fucked. I didn’t mention that I found the other chats. I don’t think I need to. I genuinely think KK has a crush on my groomer and wants social points for dogging out women. Even if he hasn’t tried with me. Yet. Makes me sick thinking we were in close proximity. I felt safe with him I feel like an idiot. He’s never tried anything. No kissing ever. No sexual contact. No sexual banter. We don’t even hug outside of special occasions. We are both very reserved individuals. Well acc idk about that after the sexting I saw in his phone.

He sent another message later on saying that he genuinely considered me a friend and regardless of the fact that “the way we came into contact was fucked up” he still cared for me and didn’t acc think I was a “ho” and apologized saying that he should mentioned sooner.

I explained that colluding with a known predator is SICK. I said I don’t know him and never have. I said that he doesn’t get to apologize and that he never saw me as a real human being.

In anger I said a lot of things. I messily tagged one of the women in the screens shots where they spoke about women being “easy”

I tagged KK and my groomer. I dm’d my groomer as well calling him a sick monster. groomer deactivated his acc.

That didn’t go very well tbh. I was just so upset I thought she would want to know. I took down the post quickly. It was an emotional decision and I should’ve dm’d the girl privately.

I honestly can’t go one minute sober after ts.

Tldr:

My (21f) groomer (24m) from my late adolescence sent my supposed “close friend” (24m) to try and sleep with me 3 years ago. I found out after looking through my close friend’s phone where they made fun of me.

My close friend would send my groomer screen shots of our conversations. My groomer instructed him on what to say and how to deceive me so I wouldn’t know that they knew each other. My close friend acted sympathetic when I told him about my groomer, unfollowed on insta him for show when I asked why they followed each other, and talked about me being “easy” with him.

In the texts They’d speak about multiple women like this and my groomer would send him girls igs to prey on. Confronted My close friend and he apologized saying that once he realized I wasn’t “easy” he decided not to act on whatever he was planning in those messages. My close friend is also dl and fucks in his other hb’s and they all mistreat women for fun. Groomer deactivated account after I exposed his chats on my story.

I (21f) met a 20 year old guy (groomer) at 16. He treated me horribly. He’s a predator. I cut him off after I turn 18, but I was thrown into a deep spiral afterwards.

After cutting him off and blocking him I moved on with life.

In 2023 I was approached by a man (kk) i usually would call a close friend of mine. We grew up in the same spaces. Knew mutual and had a similar home life.

I was very cautious with him and we mainly chatted on social media sending annoying reels back and forth. We’d chat on ft and have yap sessions about anything. We live a few blocks from each other, but regardless of his close proximity we didn’t hang out much.

He’s also a single dad so it was easier to be distant. I was wary of his intentions. I liked him a lot and we were mutually interested at first. We hung out one evening watching movies. I was able to fall asleep near him and found his presence comforting. Not sexual. He was kind. Thoughtful. Patted me to sleep tbh. And stayed still until I woke up. Brought me my favorite snacks and yapped with me. He’s never been sexually strange. That’s probably bc, you guessed it, he likes men. Didn’t know until later. It’s always been a running joke between us that one of us is gay. I’m bisexual. I’ve explained that to him very supportive as I to him.

After that night. We decided not to pursue romantic connections. We stayed distant and mainly phone based friendship wise. But we’d still get eachother gifts for birthdays and random occasions. Check in every month. Share everything about what’s going on in life. Provide support etc. loved him and cared for him a lot.

Over time we started to grow apart and spoke every now and again.

I’ve always been extremely specific when it comes to my views on SA and grooming. He knows what that guy did to me. I told him after I realized they followed eachother in instagram.

This was in the beginning of friendship. Before any deep conversations about trauma or relationships.

He reposted something from my groomers ig page. I immediately asked if he knew him. He told me that he knew him from school but they had no personal connection. He asked if knew him. I told him that I did but didn’t want to talk about it.

Later on in the year I noticed they were dming eachother. I asked why he had lied. He said that the guy DMs him sometimes to reply to his story. He shows me their most recent chats.

I explain why I’m not comfortable around the guy. I tell him the backstory. I also ask him to cut ties with him because of this and asked if he had exposed anything about me to that guy.

He assured me that he doesn’t speak to him at all and wouldn’t share anything about me. He unfollowed the man infront of me and apologized.

He also knows about a lot of my SA trauma. He’s always been supportive when I reported my SA in 2024. He sat through everything with me after my suicide attempt.

Two days ago. I went over to work on an assignment. I wanted him to help me with writing and bounce back ideas. For the most part. He was feeding his son and getting him ready for a nap. I met his brother and his brother’s gf for the first time. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until I saw his phone.

I know his password. He left his phone with me. I saw dms from my groomer. I immediately knew he was lying to me. I searched up my name. What I found was so vulgar oh god.

My groomer had specifically sent him to me 3 years ago, with the intention of trying to sleep with me. He told KK that I was “easy”.

I can’t make this shit up.

When I confronted him about them following each other he sent screen shots to the man. Everything. My groomer coached him on how to try and manipulate me and even sent him money to get me a gift so I’d be more susceptible to fucking him.

They made fun of me. I was paraded around in that chat and like I was some slave to be sold. My groomer texted things like:

“Easy mode”
“Yea liking the story doesn't work no more”
“Say that nah you don't you just repost something your friends posted say you don't really know me”
“Play like you don't know me”
“She’s easy”

It’s sick. So sick. What kind of nonsense. And there were other women as well. Mainly my groomer sending off instagrams to KK telling him what to say.

KK never openly bashed me over text. But they would call each other. Their most recent interactions about me was from this year January. My groomer was making fun of him for not being able to fuck me. KK never defended me. He just said he doesn’t think I’m easy. He let him talk shit. Didn’t try and stop him.
He would happily comply with his manipulation suggestions.

I was at his dinning room table sick. Shaking. What I found next solidified the fact that I wouldn’t not be confronting him in his home. I found messages of him speaking with other men about me. Specifically his best friend. Talking shit. They are also fucking. I was shocked. They use and make fun of women for fun get into relationships but then suck each other off. Some strange shit. I’ll Never confront a DL man. They might lash out.
I had suspicions that he was gay or pan. Didn’t expect him to sleep with his hb who also presents as liking women and has a gf.

I went home after that and tried to act normal while i processed this. I called him when I got home told him he’s sick for what he’s done and told him to never speak to me again.

He tried to play it off as if not being all that bad bc he never had any intention of acting on those messages. He told me that he realized I was not an object after getting to know me. He said he realized I wasn’t “easy” and backed off.

I asked if that makes it any better. Is this something he does often? (he does). does he need his homebody’s permission and instructions just to try and get fucked. I didn’t mention that I found the other chats. I don’t think I need to. I genuinely think KK has a crush on my groomer and wants social points for dogging out women. Even if he hasn’t tried with me. Yet. Makes me sick thinking we were in close proximity. I felt safe with him I feel like an idiot. He’s never tried anything. No kissing ever. No sexual contact. No sexual banter. We don’t even hug outside of special occasions. We are both very reserved individuals. Well acc idk about that after the sexting I saw in his phone.

He sent another message later on saying that he genuinely considered me a friend and regardless of the fact that “the way we came into contact was fucked up” he still cared for me and didn’t acc think I was a “ho” and apologized saying that he should mentioned sooner.

I explained that colluding with a known predator is SICK. I said I don’t know him and never have. I said that he doesn’t get to apologize and that he never saw me as a real human being.

In anger I said a lot of things. I messily tagged one of the women in the screens shots where they spoke about women being “easy”

I tagged KK and my groomer. I dm’d my groomer as well calling him a sick monster. groomer deactivated his acc.

That didn’t go very well tbh. I was just so upset I thought she would want to know. I took down the post quickly. It was an emotional decision and I should’ve dm’d the girl privately.

I honestly can’t go one minute sober after ts.

Tldr:

My (21f) groomer (24m) from my late adolescence sent my supposed “close friend” (24m) to try and sleep with me 3 years ago. I found out after looking through my close friend’s phone where they made fun of me.

My close friend would send my groomer screen shots of our conversations. My groomer instructed him on what to say and how to deceive me so I wouldn’t know that they knew each other. My close friend acted sympathetic when I told him about my groomer, unfollowed on insta him for show when I asked why they followed each other, and talked about me being “easy” with him.

In the texts They’d speak about multiple women like this and my groomer would send him girls igs to prey on. Confronted My close friend and he apologized saying that once he realized I wasn’t “easy” he decided not to act on whatever he was planning in those messages. My close friend is also dl and fucks in his other hb’s and they all mistreat women for fun. Groomer deactivated account after I exposed his chats on my story.