u/Difficult_Phrase8371

I (24) ost my husband (33) 6 months ago , I just came back from visiting his resting place in Ireland. Being at the grave was so comforting, it became my new routine for the week. In the morning I would go to him followed by doing the daily things, and in the evening I would go back to him to tell him all about the day. Now that I am back I feel so much more lost then before. I made a “shrine “ ??? I think is the word in my room and took one of his snuggies and filled it with cushions , just to ??? Hug I guess ?
I don’t know why but I feel like I am losing my mind. I don’t know if he would understand what I am doing ? Has anyone any experience in this. Or am I just completely freaking alone

Everyone keeps telling me to try to make him proud, but honestly, everything I’m doing right now would make him so incredibly sad.
I really am trying to take care of myself. I am. But it’s getting harder and harder. The thoughts I have, the way I look at myself, the things I’ve done to myself… I don’t even know if he would still love me after everything.
One of his biggest fears was that I would try to “stop living,” for lack of better words. And that’s exactly what I tried to do after he passed. His other biggest fear was that I would stop eating, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing too.
So how am I supposed to make him proud when I’m struggling this badly? How do I know that he would still love me? How do I find a way to keep going when so much of me just wants to give up?
I don’t know how to do this. I just want to know how other widows actually get through the day, because right now I genuinely don’t know how.

Like the title said , I am not okay , and I am sick of telling people I am okay just to make them comfortable. My husband died 4 months ago. I am doing everything that everyone says I should do. I am eating, drinking , going out with friends, doing my walks, drinking coffees and “riding the waves”. And guess what. I still feel like fucking shit. The only thing getting me through the day is my sister and my best friend. I am so grateful to have them in my life but I am so sick of feeling like this. I feel so incredibly incomplete, weak and just sick of everyone and everything. Please someone tell me what to actually do to be able to get through the actual day without hating every minute

I lost my fiancé 2 months ago after a long battle with multiple illnesses. For 90 procent of the time I was his primary caregiver in a way. He fell ill , we had to move , I still had to go to work but I always managed to go to the hospital every day. Sadly he died and I don’t recognise myself anymore. I can barely get through the day. I am lowkey begging for ways to no longer just be “counting down” the days .i know he would t want me to live like this which makes me feel even worse about everything.