u/Diligent_Ad_2722

has anyone else's parents stalked them

i lost my virginity the other day (im 18), me and my girlfriend (21f) went to a hotel to do it. this is the first time ive done anything like this, and i know you might be saying "well no shit you just said you lost your virginity", but what i mean is its the first time ive done something major to disobey my parents. im not a rebel, in fact i listened too much for my own good, i was homeschooled since i was 13. my whole life ive had to be obedient to them, even to the point of sacrificing my secondary education and helping to raise my baby brother. I have started working and getting my own money, also I got back into a higher education.

i found out that my dad followed me to where we went after the day was done. i did lie to them ab where we went bc obviously i cant tell them that i went to a hotel cause it would upset them. i felt bad that they followed me, it felt violating. they shamed me for having sex saying they raised me better, and i was "holy", they raised me better, i sinned and now my girlfriend is "my new god" all sorts of stuff.

you dont have to ask if they had sex before marriage, you already know the answer. but ofc "they know better now", obviously, but they were acting like if i was doing it unprotected, i was so safe cause of how paranoid i was.

i just wanted to know if i was wrong for doing what i did and if i deserved to be shamed, i understand lying is wrong and i can get why theyd be upset, but i did it safely and comfortably with someone ive been with for a long time.

I have tried my absolute hardest to be understanding and loving, but as shes told me (and i should've took her warning) she is NEVER satisfied and nothing i can do will ever make it better. I feel emotionally exhausted after being blocked once more after she said she wouldnt again and this is only days after we saw each other and we were happy. Then the slightest thing on the same night causes it all to fall apart and for them to just switch again.

I think ive hit my limit, all the insults, all the blocks, being told that im hated. EVERYTHING is just too much. I know this is my first relationship and I made mistakes but this.. I know I dont deserve to be treated in this fashion. She's completely different in person vs to how she is on text (LDR) and it geniunely sends me insane. She even seems to be driving me away from her ON PURPOSE sometimes, like if shes testing if I can take her shit.

Sometimes shes loving and wants to be with me, and then the next its like im Satan and she hates me again. As soon as we arent together things fall apart again and honestly its just extremely disorienting. It's not easy but I think I have to leave, shes really the sweetest girl when shes regulated but when shes angry oh god its awful. I'll always feel like I ruined things and that maybe there was something I couldve done more to help her, but she cant even help herself so I was doomed from the beginning.

This doesnt even scratch the surface of things thar have happened between us but then the post would be too long. I feel like i cant even trust myself anymore and that im going crazy... this is the worst and yet best experience ive ever had in my life. I just dont know if I have the strength to leave yet.