I’m not my best friend’s best friend
Title. I think it’s funny because, basically overall I’m a very quiet person and I gravitate to having very very few friends, socializing doesn’t come naturally right.
Also I got called autistic and he also said only because we hang out like 4 hours a day doesn’t mean you know me. Note: it’s bc we share two classes that last like 3 hours in total or so and that without including the time in between. And also it was a couple weeks difference those two interactions.
He’s a friend and I’m a friend but I don’t really have others, lowkey i thought abt that today. It’s crazy to think that the thing people say that your friends have more friends than you do is always true in my case.
I can speak with people, it’s just that overall, the people I can get along with is a very tiny percent, like I’m not mainstream, in the sense that personality wise I’m fairly odd, or at least overly aware, which tends to be expressed in social awkwardness.
Generally speaking, I literally have one irl friend I can hag out with, and family. It’s been enough to survive but definitely not enough to enjoy things or doing group activities.
In a way, I don’t really know the alternative, I’m aware of the steps to take to change that but it’s genuinely too difficult to try and break the cycle, it feels wrong, inadequate, in some ways intrusive and sort of selfish.
People are chill but I think there might be an underlying problem that should get addressed, bc it is not the natural human behavior that of not having friends.
Rant rant rant sahur over.