u/Direct-Expert7776

This all started because I got triggered for some reason after watching a video about solipsism. But I no longer give a shit about solipsism or anything existential. I just want to be connected to reality again. I don't want to waste time learning how to trust my fucking body again or having to heal a dysfunctional nervous system.

I don't need that crap. I have no trauma. If anything it's the DPDR causing anxiety instead of the other way around.

So what will help exactly? It needs to be something that will give me results quickly.

Right as I was finally getting help for DPDR my fucking tooth has start hurting. I suspect it's one of my wisdoms. If that's the case then I will need an extraction which will require either light sedation or general anesthesia. No way I'm going rogue with just local anesthesia.

Obviously my biggest worry is the anesthesia worsening the dpdr. And I don't expect the dentist or oral surgeon to understand my concern so I'm not going to bother addressing it.

Last time I went under general anesthesia was when I was 5 years old but didn't have DPDR so I was able to recover quickly. This time I probably won't have that luck.

I'm starting to believe I won't be in reality ever again. I did something to piss God off or something.

Any advice or reassurance is appreciated

Seriously. Fuck. This. Shit.

Motherfuckers who never experienced this hell don't realize how they're taking reality for granted and it enrages me to the core.

I'm beginning to just hate being alive because this fucking shit makes everything triggering. I shouldn't be going through this. I never did anything to deserve this mental torture.

I don't see myself living past 30 to be honest. I simply refuse to live the rest of my life in this mental state. You can take your "live your life despite the dpdr " and shove it up your ass.

And for all you people who have issue with having to come across negative posts. Learn how to use the search bar in the subreddit.

Solipsism is what triggered the dpdr in the first place. But I stopped having existential intrusive thoughts years ago. I don't give a rat's ass if reality is real or not. I just desperately want to be connected with reality again.

It's utter bullshit that this stupid "defense mechanism" has made me lose interoception and dysregulated my nervous system. And I have to waste time and money on therapy in order to relearn it all? Fuck that!!

What kind of therapy will help anyways? It needs to be something where I will see results quickly.