AIO if I end my relationship because my bf kisses and tells me he loves me before leaving for work in the morning?
***Update at bottom of post***
(Throwaway because bf knows my Reddit username)
My bf (39m) and I (30f) have different work schedules. Most days of the week, bf has to be out of the house by 7am and as a grad student, I am often up late working but try to sleep in so I still get at least 8 hours of sleep. Fortunately my partner and I have separate bedrooms so in theory this should be perfectly manageable, but despite repeatedly asking him not to, he always comes into my room to kiss me and tell me he loves me before he leaves which wakes me up every. time. I have an Oura ring so I am also able to see that this often takes place when I am in “deep sleep” which in addition to lost sleep hours, leaves me incredibly groggy throughout the day.
I know it’s sweet but I’ve suggested if he wants to be cute to please leave a note or a nice text I can wake up to. I remind him not to wake me up in the morning the night before and will even tape notes to my door that say please don’t wake me up and he still does anyway !!!
Otherwise our relationship is great so maybe it’s the sleep deprivation talking, but I’m really feeling at my wit’s end with this. Please help me find some clarity on what to do Reddit.
Update:
- Welp this blew up more than I expected but I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. I knew the premise was absurd and hyperbolic and I don’t actually want to end my great relationship, which is why I decided (on very little sleep, mind you) to create an anonymous Reddit account to vent my micro-frustrations out to the internet so that my inner molehill mountain gremlin would not leach over into my actual life. I have definitely learned from this experience the ramifications of such decisions and this is the last time I’ll be doing something like this.
- Some added context to paint a better picture here but the tldr- when my bf came home for lunch we talked it out. He had kept the lights off to be minimally disruptive when making his morning coffee and didn’t see the sign on the door. He forgot I mentioned I would be up late but did kinda remember me asking not wake me up BUT it is our anniversary and for him, it’s about the worry that if something happens to either one of us and that not being the last thing he did. (He’s a complete sweetheart ok I know 😭 +++ points for all the commenters that think I’m an absolute monster!) He promised he would take it more seriously moving forward and I take him at his word for all of it. A big THANK YOU to all of the sincere responses with suggestions because from all of that came to a great solution. He is a wonderful illustrator so I am going to mount a dry erase board on the back of my door for him to easily leave me messages. But after more thought too I’m going to tell him later he can come in and kiss me goodbye and just ask he do it somewhere less sensitive like the top of my head + not whisper directly in my ear.
- The responses to this post have given me a lot of perspective, as I have also a many times found myself scrolling AIO and AITA posts thinking “may this love never find me”. All of the comments (of which I’ve only been able to read a fraction) both telling me I should ditch him and those saying he should ditch (or cheat on!) me, have helped me appreciate how little of a window into a person’s relationship these posts really give. Honestly, the relationship I have is truly wonderful. We have fun together every day, work together as a team, and I am so glad this love found me.
- It’s weird how many of y’all took issue with the separate rooms thing. We still sleep over and hang out in each other’s rooms all the time. But it’s awesome to not be completely beholden to the other persons sleep schedule or compromise closet space? I consider it a privilege lol. Wild.