I (24) F is pressured in life. I am currently enrolled in grade school
I came from the province. Was not the best in my class, nor the smartest. So imagine my surprise when UPD accepted my application (will not name the department). I admit, I did not do well last semester for I had a hard time catching up with everything. From the study habits, the lessons’ pace, and the fact that I am far away from home. This semester, my grades are not yet out and I am not even sure how I did this semester. I am in fear of failing and most importantly, disappointing the advisors who recommended me to UPD.
And now, I don’t know how to calm myself because my undergrad adviser said she doesn’t want to hear any negative feedbacks from my current department. I don’t know how to calm myself. Believe me I tried my best this semester. I tried overcoming my fear of being the smallest, being the slowest, and being the most undeserving person in the room.
I fear for disappointment so much that I don’t want to go back to school anymore. Even writing this makes me want to breakdown again. What should I do?