Dont have much to say but I really wanted to show him off. I've been breeding nothing but purebred Ferghana's and in doing so ive been locked into Dun coloration, I decided to take a big swing and breed it out in my Breton mixes for the discord breeding contest and ugh! He's just so stinking cute!!
So, I would consider myself a baby witch at best, i've been surrounded by it since birth, as my mother partook before she embraced Christianity and my younger sister still partakes (it's been a family thing, for generations, i can trace myself back even to the salem witch trials) but i never delved deep personally. At most it was heeding the advice if a tarot reading or looking for guidance and taking things that appear in my life as a sign. This brings me to my current predicament.
I have a necklace. The necklace is sterling silver, and i have worn it daily since feb 2023. I bought it to be used as a day collar (which, if you dont know, ties into the bdsm community and is essentially a collar that is discreet enough to be worn in public. It is a locked commitment between a Dom and their Sub). That said, I collared myself.
I was young at the time, in bad relationships, and I bought it as they were ending, I placed it upon myself as a way to secure myself. A reminder that I am my own and need to care for myself first.
Then I got into my current relationship. After about a year together, I allowed her to collar me. The necklace came off, she put it on, and it didnt come off. Recently we've been having issues and I no longer feel as though she secures me or should have the right to "own" me.
I took it off may 23rd. She didn't notice.
On May 24th, we had a good day, and i considered putting the necklace back on before she did notice. I was alone as I was thinking this and I was eating some nuts, as i was eating my tongue piercing broke. I had a tongue ring that had labadorite and moonstone on each end and the labadorite side shattered and the ball fully broke off the bar. It wasn't bit or anything it just, broke.
I'm taking it as a sign not to return to where I was and to embrace the change however it goes. ( I litterally do not have a ring to replace the piercing with, i've been meaning to buy some for months and never did so this is a forced change.) I've had the piercing since 2022.
All that said, these are objects that have meant a lot to me in a emotional sense for years and I feel very bare now, naked without them. I want to put the necklace back on but I want to reinstate my meaning, I want my collar to be mine again, but I feel like there is so much energy tied to it that something needs to change first. Thats why i was considering cleansing it and embracing some kind of new tongue ring later .
But, I dont know much about cleansing, I dont know how, and I dont want to bother my family by explaining and delving into my relationship (I dont want to break up, I think we just need to realign ourselves). Does anybody have any advice?
Tl;DR: I have a necklace that I have worn daily for years that has a lot of emotions attached to, it especially regarding my security, self image, and individuality. I want to cleanse it but dont know how to do that or if there is anything specific I should keep in mind when it comes to the energy surrounding it. I'm looking for advice on what to do with it.