u/Disappointed12639

Throwaway account just in case. UK based - don't think its relevant but just in case

Hi everyone,

I have a query / dilemma. I lost my father recently he was too young, it was very unexpected and he left no will. He left no debts and his house was paid off. I am his only biological child he never married, he lived with my mum when she already had a child from a previous marriage when she entered the relationship (my half sister), mum then left my dad, she remarried and been married for a number of years. My half sister is not in close contact with my dad - birthday and Christmas cards is sort of the level.

Now nothing has been said directly too me but 3 members of my family have now let me know because they don’t want me to be caught off guard, that my mum expects me to share my inheritance with my half sister. I believe she has also let my half-sister know this plan.

I live pay cheque to paycheque this money could be life changing to me. It is not a lot but it would enable me to start saving money again rather than just meeting obligations for example.

The family members have also let me know that she has said if I don’t sort her out that my share of what ever my mum leaves in inheritance will be adjusted to reflect this. I thought I had a really positive relationship with my mum but this feels quite malicious especially with it being behind my back.

My sisters dad is involved in her life, and will no doubt include her in the will he has remarried and also has children from that marriage, I do not expect to be thought of in that because that’s not my dad, I would feel wrong to ask for a share of that so it is equal and we get the same when we are not the same we have half the same family.

I would give anything to have my dad in my life, and I feel like this drama is being brought in at a time when I just want to be focused on putting my dad to rest and making some sort of peace with the fact that the man I used to call all the time for advice, who I saw all the time isn’t there anymore.

I think the worst of it is that the person I would go to for advice on dealing with something like this – family drama if you will - is my dad or my mum - and I don’t have him and I can’t go to her.

It also feels important that throughout the experience, anytime I mention my feelings thoughts, my sister is brought up in the context of, this is affecting her as well, she is also really hurting. It is in a way that feels almost like it is invalidating my own feelings, like my grief doesn’t count as much.

I’m just wondering if there is any advise on what you think I should do, how to handle it. At the moment I am pretending I know nothing and just avoiding everyone but I feel like having to isolate myself when I am grieving isn’t really healthy.

TL;DR: My dad died unexpectedly young with no will, and as his only biological child I’m likely inheriting his estate. My mum (who separated from him years ago and has since remarried) apparently expects me to share part of it with my half-sister, who isn’t my dad’s child and wasn’t close to him. Family members have warned me that if I don’t, my mum may reduce my future inheritance to “balance it out.” I’m hurt this is being discussed behind my back while I’m grieving, and I feel like my own loss is being minimised by constant comparisons to how this affects my half-sister too. I’m avoiding everyone right now because I don’t know how to handle the family drama on top of losing my dad.

Thanks in advance

Throwaway account just in case.

Hi everyone,

I have a query / dilemma. I lost my father recently he was too young, it was very unexpected and he left no will. He left no debts and his house was paid off. I am his only biological child he never married, he lived with my mum when she already had a child from a previous marriage when she entered the relationship (my half sister), mum then left my dad, she remarried and been married for a number of years. My half sister is not in close contact with my dad - birthday and Christmas cards is sort of the level.

Now nothing has been said directly too me but 3 members of my family have now let me know because they don’t want me to be caught off guard, that my mum expects me to share my inheritance with my half sister. I believe she has also let my half-sister know this plan.

I live pay cheque to paycheque this money could be life changing to me. It is not a lot but it would enable me to start saving money again rather than just meeting obligations for example.

The family members have also let me know that she has said if I don’t sort her out that my share of what ever my mum leaves in inheritance will be adjusted to reflect this. I thought I had a really positive relationship with my mum but this feels quite malicious especially with it being behind my back.

My sisters dad is involved in her life, and will no doubt include her in the will he has remarried and also has children from that marriage, I do not expect to be thought of in that because that’s not my dad, I would feel wrong to ask for a share of that so it is equal and we get the same when we are not the same we have half the same family.

I would give anything to have my dad in my life, and I feel like this drama is being brought in at a time when I just want to be focused on putting my dad to rest and making some sort of peace with the fact that the man I used to call all the time for advice, who I saw all the time isn’t there anymore.

I think the worst of it is that the person I would go to for advice on dealing with something like this – family drama if you will - is my dad or my mum - and I don’t have him and I can’t go to her.

It also feels important that throughout the experience, anytime I mention my feelings thoughts, my sister is brought up in the context of, this is affecting her as well, she is also really hurting. It is in a way that feels almost like it is invalidating my own feelings, like my grief doesn’t count as much.

I’m just wondering if there is any advise on what you think I should do, how to handle it. At the moment I am pretending I know nothing and just avoiding everyone but I feel like having to isolate myself when I am grieving isn’t really healthy.

TL;DR: My dad died unexpectedly young with no will, and as his only biological child I’m likely inheriting his estate. My mum (who separated from him years ago and has since remarried) apparently expects me to share part of it with my half-sister, who isn’t my dad’s child and wasn’t close to him. Family members have warned me that if I don’t, my mum may reduce my future inheritance to “balance it out.” I’m hurt this is being discussed behind my back while I’m grieving, and I feel like my own loss is being minimised by constant comparisons to how this affects my half-sister too. I’m avoiding everyone right now because I don’t know how to handle the family drama on top of losing my dad.

Thanks in advance