u/DisasterReal2746

BOYCOTT BADOO, BUMBLE, TINDER AND HINGE.

I don't say that lightly, but after more than a year of trying to get a proper explanation from these platforms, I'm genuinely disappointed and exhausted by the whole thing.
Over a year ago, I was blocked from Badoo, Bumble, Tinder and Hinge at essentially the same time.
And when I say it happened out of nowhere, I mean it.
I was literally sitting on a bus coming back from Glasgow, casually swiping through profiles.
I wasn't arguing with anyone. I wasn't sending inappropriate messages. I wasn't doing anything that I could reasonably understand as triggering a ban.
One minute I was swiping.
The next, I was blocked.
More than a year later, I still haven't been given a meaningful explanation of what I actually did wrong.
Every attempt to get an answer seems to result in the same generic response about “Community Guidelines”.
Okay.
Which guideline did I break? What specifically did I do? What evidence was used? Show me.
Because here's what I experienced while using these apps.
I had men sending me unsolicited dick pics.
I had men repeatedly asking me for sex after I'd already made it clear I wasn't interested.
I experienced people refusing to take no for an answer.
I encountered someone apparently using fake photographs who appeared to be the same person I'd already rejected seven or eight times. When someone's behaviour became concerning enough that I felt I was being harassed, I warned them that I would involve the police.
Did I occasionally tell someone to fuck off?
Absolutely.
If somebody repeatedly ignores “no”, continues contacting me, catfishes me or makes me feel unsafe, I'm not going to sit there worrying about whether telling them to fuck off might hurt their feelings.
Yet somehow, I'm the one who ended up banned.
And before anyone tries to twist this into me pretending I've never had a sexual conversation online, of course I have.
We're human. We all get horny from time to time.
Have I sexted someone when we were both into it and consenting? Yes.
There's a pretty fucking enormous difference between consensual sexting and sending somebody sexual photographs they never asked to receive.
I still call guys out for this on Snapchat today.
I'll be talking to someone and ask:
“Can I see a photo of you?”
And apparently, for some men, that translates automatically into:
DICK PIC.
No. 😂
I asked to see YOU.
Your face.
The actual human being I'm talking to.
Has the world gone fucking nuts to the point where asking someone for a photo automatically means you want a photograph of their dick?
Do dicks walk down the road by themselves now? Do they go on dates? Are faces optional extras?
If I want a sexual photograph from somebody, I'll ask. If they want to send one, I'm interested and we're both consenting adults, brilliant.
That's called consent.
But “send me a photo of you” shouldn't require the additional disclaimer:
“YOUR FACE, PLEASE. KEEP YOUR TROUSERS ON.”
And that's partly why this whole situation frustrates me so much.
These platforms talk constantly about safety and Community Guidelines, yet in my experience unsolicited sexual content became almost normalised.
Meanwhile, I wasn't sending unsolicited nude photographs. I wasn't sexually harassing strangers. I wasn't pretending to be somebody else.
I was genuinely trying to date and meet someone.
And now I've started looking into this more, I've discovered I'm far from the only person talking about unexplained dating-app bans.
I've seen discussions on Reddit and other social media platforms from people describing remarkably similar experiences. In the conversations I've personally come across, I've noticed other gay men talking about this too.
I'm not claiming this exclusively affects gay men. I don't have the evidence to say that, and I'm completely open to being corrected if other groups are experiencing the same thing.
But I think there's a serious conversation to be had about what happens to gay men who are genuinely looking for relationships when they lose access to mainstream dating spaces.
Because where exactly are we supposed to go?
Increasingly, we're left relying on apps primarily associated with gay hookups and sexual encounters, and then trying to rewrite our profiles and use those spaces for something they weren't primarily designed around:
Actually dating someone.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with hookups.
There's nothing wrong with wanting sex.
But some of us want more than that.
Some of us want dates.
Some of us want companionship.
Some of us want relationships.
Some of us actually want to fall in love.
How are we supposed to find that when mainstream dating apps can seemingly remove you without properly explaining why, while elsewhere you're dealing with catfishing, fake photographs, unsolicited sexual content and people who simply refuse to accept the word “no”?
And what makes my situation even more confusing is that these apps aren't even all operated by the same company. Badoo and Bumble are together, while Tinder and Hinge are together under a different company.
Yet I found myself shut out across all four at essentially the same time.
How?
That's a genuine question.
What disappoints me most isn't even simply being banned.
It's the complete lack of transparency afterwards.
If I've genuinely done something wrong, tell me.
Give me the specific incident.
Give me the guideline I've breached.
Give me the opportunity to explain what happened.
Actually investigate it.
And give people a meaningful appeal process where another human being looks at the circumstances rather than sending another generic copy-and-paste message about Community Guidelines.
If you investigate something properly and conclude I've broken your rules, fine. At least then I know what I'm actually accused of doing.
But more than a year later, I'm still asking the same basic question:
What did I do?
Community Guidelines are important. Safety is important. Moderation is important.
But accountability and transparency work both ways.
So yes:
BOYCOTT BADOO.
BOYCOTT BUMBLE.
BOYCOTT TINDER.
BOYCOTT HINGE.
I'm incredibly disappointed in these platforms. Not simply because they banned me, but because when someone genuinely asks for help understanding what has happened, the response shouldn't be another generic paragraph and a link to Community Guidelines.
Treat people like human beings. Look into the individual circumstances. Give people an explanation.
Because right now, as we get further into 2026, it's becoming increasingly difficult not to feel like being gay means being single for the rest of your life.
How are you supposed to properly date someone when you're being banned from mainstream dating apps without explanation, being catfished by people pretending to be somebody else, dealing with unsolicited sexual content and then being pushed towards apps where the expectation is predominantly sexual?
Maybe that's dramatic.
But I'm genuinely disappointed that this is what modern gay dating increasingly feels like.
I don't just want sex. I want to meet somebody. I want dates. I want a relationship. I want something real.
And apparently in 2026, simply finding somewhere to genuinely look for that is becoming the hardest part.

reddit.com
u/DisasterReal2746 — 21 hours ago

3 dates in. Where is this going?

A few months ago, I (33 m) met a man (31 m) on a dating app. He happened to be in the area and we decided to go for coffee. Now, I haven’t been on a date for most of my life, as normally I would jump straight into a relationship within 5 minutes of meeting somebody, but I decided that now I’m in my 30s I wanted to just try and take it a little bit easy. Everything went well as far as I can tell and I took him back to his hotel and went home myself. The next day, we decided to go for another coffee. Again, I think it went well, however there were moments where it was a little bit awkward. The next again day he flew home. For context, I live on the mainland in the UK and he lives on one of the islands in the UK. So there is a little bit of distance. Two weeks later, I flew over for a day trip. He met me from the airport and we had a lovely day together. He took me out for dinner and coffee and we went down the coast and it was a lovely day. I flew home and was feeling really excited about what was next. The last time I saw him face-to-face was 6 weeks ago. Now, we are not exclusive or in a relationship or anything, however a part of me is thinking that there is something not quite right.

For context: he had a really crap time with his ex and so did I so we both have some things that we needed to sort until this point. When I was visiting, we spoke about each other’s previous relationships. My ex partner cheated on me. So I really do have some trust issues. My ex partner also mentally a\*\*\*\*\* me and let their own mother talk about my weight and a\*\*\*\* me too. It was a really difficult time as my grandmother had just died a few months prior so I was already quite vulnerable. So it’s understandable why I have so many trust issues. I won’t disclose what ex done, as that is his story, but let’s just say he’s really been through the ringers too.

Fast forward to now, I’m really struggling because I’m quite a big texter and I guess I really struggle when people don’t text me frequently that they are losing interest. He is not a big texter. He works full-time, spends time with his friends and family and also goes to the gym. I love that he’s independent and he’s looking after himself, but not to the point where it’s taking over his life. He sometimes only sounds one or two texts per day that acknowledges my texts, don’t get me wrong, but I feel that I seem to put in more effort. I don’t know if that’s me being selfish or if that’s just my head talking. He moved out of his rented apartment and moved back in with his parents so that he can save up to buy a house. Love that for him. He’s really close to his parents. However… they don’t know his sexuality. His siblings do and his friends do, but not his parents. Now I know it’s because of religion and I’m sure that down the line he would probably discuss it with them if he found somebody that he really liked. I know that in the future he does want to settle down and when we spoke, he is very much in the same impression as me that if he ever moved into the house of his partner, he would want to keep his house and rent it out or vice-versa, just so that there is some security, which is the exact same thing that I want to do as well when it comes to it.

Basically, I’ve rambled on a little bit, and the reason I’m asking is that I’ve suggested I go over for a day or two and I booked myself into a hotel with no obligation that he has to stay with me. It would be more we would meet up go for coffee go to the cinema go for dinner something like that and at the end of the day he could go home and I will go to the hotel and there’s no pressure. He has booked in his diary to come over to see me in 3 months time. That will mean I’ve not seen him for 6 months. That to me (as someone who is neurodivergent) is something that I’m really struggling with. I like him. But I don’t know how to ask where his head is at. I don’t want to rush anything and I don’t want to push him, but I also need to know for my own sanity.

As far as I’m aware, he’s deleted the dating app. I have seen myself a few times change my location to see if he appears as I created a dummy account a few years ago when I was helping my friends track down her now ex who was cheating on her. Yes, that might be a bit stalker, but I didn’t find him so therefore I believe that he has deleted the app. I also have deleted majority of my apps. I don’t really message lots of guys now only ones that I have a friend friendship with and keep it mostly platonic or have a bit of flanter with them, like my bestie for example.

Anyway, back to the point… where is this going? I honestly don’t know. My head’s just a little bit confused right now and I don’t know whether I should ask him or tell him how I’m feeling or whether that might scare him off when right now we are sort of comfortable. I am looking at moving away from where I live due to other issues and one of the things I was considering was moving closer to where he is or at least onto the same land to make it easier to see each other.

Help.

reddit.com
u/DisasterReal2746 — 2 months ago