r/OnlineDatingApps

Hi, 59F here!I joined an American-based dating/chat site a few months ago and became emotionally involved with a man who claimed to live in the US. After we exchanged names, I later discovered the surname he gave me was false.

He sent many videos and voice notes, and the voice seems consistent, but he avoids saying my name out loud. Over time, I discovered he appears on multiple related dating sites under different surnames and personas, although he insisted he was only speaking to me.

I also found inconsistencies involving his work, location, and family stories. People he claimed were certain relatives now appear to possibly be entirely different relations. I found social media profiles and family photos that don’t line up with the life he described to me at all.

Whenever I questioned anything, I was made to feel guilty for “not trusting him.” There is also sometimes a passive-aggressive undertone during disagreements.

At this point I genuinely don’t know whether this is a real man living a heavily fabricated online life, a stolen identity situation, or something in between.

Would you confront him, walk away quietly, or try to find out the truth first?

I got divorced about a year ago and the idea of jumping back into apps sounds exhausting for me. I’ve been looking into alternatives and Tawkify keeps coming up but I can’t tell if matchmaking is a better experience so i need yall to tell me your experience?

The main thing Im curious about is whether it feels more intentional or serious compared to apps, i would love to hear from people who dealt with this after a divorce or long term relationship ending.

I have been a frequent user of Bumble, Hinge and Tinder and I have been trying to use the different filter options (preferences/dealbreakers) in a way to get the apps who show me exactly the type of matches I want. But I feel like the apps still don't always follow my requirements. Is there a way to make the matches more suitable? Am I using the apps wrong? What have your experiences been?

I’m ngl I was trolling on hinge cause I was bored. Can someone help me find a reasonable reason to get my account back. I was actually hitting it off with this guy and didn’t get his number yet 😭😭🙏

Also how long did it take you guys to get your account back?

I have been living in another country for a year now, and my Hinge phone number is the one I use in that country.

When I come back in my home country and lose access to this number, I understand I will have to create a new account with my future number.

I would like to use the same pictures as my profile was working well.

Do I risk a ban or shadowban? Not trying to reset or anything, I just want to keep using Hinge with the same pictures but apparently it is impossible to update the phone number.

I (38)F met a guy (39)M on a dating app. I had mentioned on my profile clearly that I was looking for something long-term. On the other hand. His profile mentioned long-term as well, but was open for short-term on the first date. We hit it off really well. We spent about 2 to 3 hours with endless banters, although he was clear that with me, he wanted something short, and I was okay with it. He would keep calling me endlessly, not just calls but video calls. The proximity was a very big advantage. He lived within the radius of 1.5 km. In fact, I was shifting in the building next to his in one years time. So after the first date he wanted to meet the next day as well, and we kept meeting for an entire week day after day. But, on each call he would talk kinky and tried to know less of or about me. I was wanting things to escalate physically, but that never happened. He would rile me up and never escalated beyond a kiss. The kiss also happened when he confessed that he was divorced twice and that didn’t matter to me as i was having a good time. He confessed he wanted me to know that detail before things escalated. He would make these future plans about vacations etc. He made me meet his entire extended family as well (he didn’t tell me he was doing that) . But, i would even see him getting calls from multiple women when we’d meet plus he mentioned he was in touch with his exes. Since he was not escalating things physically and kept wanting validation from me, i got pissed off and stopped entertaining him. He and his brother invited me for his brother’s wedding but he never followed up with an actual invite and didn’t hear back from him. So i didn’t try as well, the moment he realised his contact was deleted, he tried getting back in touch with calls and messages. I want to understand what does he want? I was okay to keep things physical, gave him multiple signals, he was super attracted to me as well.
He was getting what he wanted (as per our first date what he described). What the hell does he actually want ? Should I actually even answer his call now?
Really need help.

I’m pretty shy and I’m trying to figure out if dating apps are even worth using.

I don’t really know which app is better if you’re quiet, awkward, or not great at starting conversations.

For shy guys who’ve tried them, where did you have the most luck? Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Facebook Dating, or something else?

Girl here trying to find out the red flag in my date. Can someone check if the guy (I went on a date with) still has a profile available if I share the link of his profile? I think he unmatched me so I can’t see him active there, but I am curious if he actually deactivated his account. Pretty sure he lies about certain details in his life. Initially, I didn’t have any suspicions as he seemed honest, but now I do. I know you can share profile as a “suggested/recommend” match. So is anyone willing to do that for me? 

Who will give much time.. and live-in with me

Genuinely think this would help society. Thoughts?

i have been thinking about this a lot lately because i am helping someone close to me who is in their late 50s get back into the dating scene after being single for a really long time. honestly neither of us knew what to expect but the experience so far on the big mainstream apps has been pretty discouraging for the

everything on those platforms feels like it is built for 20 year olds who are just looking for something quick. it is all fast swiping and short conversations that usually end in ghosting or just weird energy. it is hard to explain to someone from a different generation why people just stop replying or why half the profiles look like they took zero effort to make

meeting people offline is not exactly easy either when your social circle is already settled so i have been trying to find something that feels more intentional. i have seen a few niche apps mentioned that are supposed to be specifically for people over 50 with a focus on verified profiles and more serious connections but i am still skeptical

my main worry is that these smaller platforms might just be ghost towns. it sounds great on paper to have a moderated space with real people but if there are only ten people in your area then it is not really going to work. i would rather they spend time somewhere where there is actually a chance to meet someone decent

has anyone here seen their parents or relatives actually find something meaningful on those kinds of apps?

Would you use a dating app with no endless swiping — where the app gives you one curated match every day based on your vibe, personality, and interests?

Feels more intentional, less addictive, and maybe even more real.
Curious if people would actually prefer this over traditional dating apps. Drop your thoughts 👀

I don't know, maybe I'm just burnt out, but Grindr honestly feels almost unusable to me lately.

Every time I open it, it’s the same thing over and over again.Fake looking profiles, blank accounts, people asking for pics right off the bat, conversations dying after 2 replies, or guys disappearing randomly after wasting your time.

And honestly when I tried apps like Sniffies, the experience felt somehow even more transactional and disconnected.

I know hookup culture has been around forever but it really feels like there’s no mainstream gay app anymore that promotes respectful interaction or actual community vibes.

Everything feels low effort and temporary now.

I think apps would be so much better with more moderation, more accountability, less focus on real people, more focus on endless swipe culture.

Anyone else getting sick of this lately?

Matched with someone on Bumble in Kolkata who insisted that a particular hookah cafe/lounge near the Bypass area was “really good” and suggested we meet there. The place was on the 3rd floor of a building in that area.

Once we sat down, she started ordering drinks very quickly one after another, along with hookah and food, and kept saying she wanted to get drunk fast and then go somewhere else afterwards. Within a very short time, I was suddenly handed a huge bill.

When I questioned it, the environment became intimidating. The waiter was rude and there were other men around who made the situation feel uncomfortable enough that I just wanted to pay and leave safely without escalating things.

I later realized this may be a known dating app cafe scam setup. I had around ₹20,000 in savings at that time and lost most of it that day itself.

Posting this mainly for awareness so others stay careful when someone insists on taking you to a specific cafe/bar on a first meeting.

I’m also genuinely in need financially right now because of this incident, so if anyone knows whether there’s any practical/legal way to report such places or possibly recover any of the money now, please let me know.

Has anyone else experienced something similar in Kolkata or elsewhere?