r/OnlineDatingApps

I’m feeling a little Carrie Bradshaw (minus the whole Big part) at the moment, so please give me a second.

I’ve got to admit, I do agree with a lot of the traditional dating assumptions/norms. Let the guy ask you out, let him pay, and let him pursue. But….let him confuse you, too???

For context: I went out on a great first date with a guy I met on Hinge. I’m a 20 year-old something female working in corporate New York City, which I want to say is one of the most brutal places to date. Someone once told me that people don’t come to New York to find love (contrary to Carrie’s assistant) and I’m starting to think it’s incredibly true, because NYC it’s facing a no-single-guy-interested-in-a-relationship epidemic. But back to my story. The first date went great. He works in high finance, so typically incredibly busy during the week, but right after the first date, as in as soon as I got home, he asked me out on a second one. It also went incredibly good. Amazing conversation, lots of jokes and laughing and physical but playful touch. I’ll admit that we did hook up on the second date, which leads me to question if something has changed since then/because of that. But after the second date, he didn’t bring up a next potential date like he did before. No, I’m not saying that that’s a terrible thing, but he is pretty upfront, so my instant reaction was oh OK I guess it’s over, but….I want a certain answer.

And now back to reality: What is the general consensus on asking, “what are we doing where is this going?”

Okay okay yes, I agree that post-second date might be too early. But I also want to know….? The texting has been a little wishy-washy, not as upbeat as before, and I’ll also admit that we haven’t gotten to the phone number stage, just messaging on the app.

See the more I type this, the more I think I might be a crazy, insane lady who is gonna give this guy my wrath by swarming him with this question. But, I’ve been in the NYC/dating app game for a while. I’ve gone out on nice romantic dates and done the casual sex, and I’m at that point where I’m ready to take things serious and honestly don’t want to waste my time. He also did put that he’s looking for a long-term relationship, which I know could always be a lie, but you can’t blame a girl for referencing the facts he’s stating.

Your first instant reaction definitely was “He’s obviously not into you” but for the guys: could there be something else?

In short: can I just cut the shit and ask where this is going, or if we’ve already hit a dead end sign ? or do I conform to the age saying of wait and let him come to you?

Ive done Hinge, hily, bumble, Pof, Boo, Upward, Jigsaw Dating. They all either have no replies or like 3 fucking conversations and then its done. Im so pissed off im sick of it.

Im writing this to get some help and understanding but also to blow off some steam.

Is it just me or does anybody feel exhausted by all the small talk "Hi Hello How are you" when you match with someone on dating apps?

Like give me something creative or interesting to move the conversation.

If a match starts with "Hi", I immediately lose interest. How do you respond if someone just says "Hi How are you?"

i’m f 22 and i’ve had quite a few men send me likes on hinge with a message that is either insulting or belittling to pictures or prompts on my profile. why do guys do that if the goal is to match with a person?? i am genuinely curious about this approach if someone could enlighten me, thank you.

I met someone on Bumble recently. She seemed very nice and into me, and we ended up going on 3 dates. The chemistry was great, but I started to notice some of my personal red flags including anxious attachment. After our last date, I gave myself 24 hours to process everything and decided to tell her I didn’t think this was going to work out long term and I wished her well. She responded pretty negatively and wanted me to get into the reasons why. I kept it positive and said there’s no misunderstanding and I hope she finds who she deserves.

I got banned from Bumble the next day.

Now I understand why people just ghost other people.

Which opener are you most likely to respond to? Or which opener do you prefer?

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Is there a good reason I’m not thinking of to at least by photo verified if you’re on Bumble / Tinder / similar well known apps that we know by now are established reputable businesses, and you’re uploading your information into the app anyway, so i can’t really understand if it’s something safety / security wise that you’d be worried about as a reason. Should I just assume if they’re not verified that they’re a catfish/ something not honest?

hey y'all, so i've been wondering, how is the tinder experience for the rest of you? because it's not looking good for me. jokes aside, i do get likes (i have like 80 right now, i'm a gay guy btw) and when it comes to matching with people, when i do actually match with a guy, he doesn't reply after i send a text so my next question is, does this happen to anyone else? lowkey tired as hell because i keep liking those who like me first and when i reach out it's crickets. the crazy thing is, every single guy just doesn't reply. i have had over 10 matches maybe (i'm very pickydhsjdhdjdhd) and not a single one replied. for instance, a guy the other day sent a "hey" and i was like hallelujah maybe that's it but after i replied to his message he hasn't responded which led me to remove him/unmatch him. it's definitely an ego boost when i get likes but it feels like a humiliation ritual every single time i hope for a message back, it gets irritating.