r/OnlineDatingApps

I don't say that lightly, but after more than a year of trying to get a proper explanation from these platforms, I'm genuinely disappointed and exhausted by the whole thing.
Over a year ago, I was blocked from Badoo, Bumble, Tinder and Hinge at essentially the same time.
And when I say it happened out of nowhere, I mean it.
I was literally sitting on a bus coming back from Glasgow, casually swiping through profiles.
I wasn't arguing with anyone. I wasn't sending inappropriate messages. I wasn't doing anything that I could reasonably understand as triggering a ban.
One minute I was swiping.
The next, I was blocked.
More than a year later, I still haven't been given a meaningful explanation of what I actually did wrong.
Every attempt to get an answer seems to result in the same generic response about “Community Guidelines”.
Okay.
Which guideline did I break? What specifically did I do? What evidence was used? Show me.
Because here's what I experienced while using these apps.
I had men sending me unsolicited dick pics.
I had men repeatedly asking me for sex after I'd already made it clear I wasn't interested.
I experienced people refusing to take no for an answer.
I encountered someone apparently using fake photographs who appeared to be the same person I'd already rejected seven or eight times. When someone's behaviour became concerning enough that I felt I was being harassed, I warned them that I would involve the police.
Did I occasionally tell someone to fuck off?
Absolutely.
If somebody repeatedly ignores “no”, continues contacting me, catfishes me or makes me feel unsafe, I'm not going to sit there worrying about whether telling them to fuck off might hurt their feelings.
Yet somehow, I'm the one who ended up banned.
And before anyone tries to twist this into me pretending I've never had a sexual conversation online, of course I have.
We're human. We all get horny from time to time.
Have I sexted someone when we were both into it and consenting? Yes.
There's a pretty fucking enormous difference between consensual sexting and sending somebody sexual photographs they never asked to receive.
I still call guys out for this on Snapchat today.
I'll be talking to someone and ask:
“Can I see a photo of you?”
And apparently, for some men, that translates automatically into:
DICK PIC.
No. 😂
I asked to see YOU.
Your face.
The actual human being I'm talking to.
Has the world gone fucking nuts to the point where asking someone for a photo automatically means you want a photograph of their dick?
Do dicks walk down the road by themselves now? Do they go on dates? Are faces optional extras?
If I want a sexual photograph from somebody, I'll ask. If they want to send one, I'm interested and we're both consenting adults, brilliant.
That's called consent.
But “send me a photo of you” shouldn't require the additional disclaimer:
“YOUR FACE, PLEASE. KEEP YOUR TROUSERS ON.”
And that's partly why this whole situation frustrates me so much.
These platforms talk constantly about safety and Community Guidelines, yet in my experience unsolicited sexual content became almost normalised.
Meanwhile, I wasn't sending unsolicited nude photographs. I wasn't sexually harassing strangers. I wasn't pretending to be somebody else.
I was genuinely trying to date and meet someone.
And now I've started looking into this more, I've discovered I'm far from the only person talking about unexplained dating-app bans.
I've seen discussions on Reddit and other social media platforms from people describing remarkably similar experiences. In the conversations I've personally come across, I've noticed other gay men talking about this too.
I'm not claiming this exclusively affects gay men. I don't have the evidence to say that, and I'm completely open to being corrected if other groups are experiencing the same thing.
But I think there's a serious conversation to be had about what happens to gay men who are genuinely looking for relationships when they lose access to mainstream dating spaces.
Because where exactly are we supposed to go?
Increasingly, we're left relying on apps primarily associated with gay hookups and sexual encounters, and then trying to rewrite our profiles and use those spaces for something they weren't primarily designed around:
Actually dating someone.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with hookups.
There's nothing wrong with wanting sex.
But some of us want more than that.
Some of us want dates.
Some of us want companionship.
Some of us want relationships.
Some of us actually want to fall in love.
How are we supposed to find that when mainstream dating apps can seemingly remove you without properly explaining why, while elsewhere you're dealing with catfishing, fake photographs, unsolicited sexual content and people who simply refuse to accept the word “no”?
And what makes my situation even more confusing is that these apps aren't even all operated by the same company. Badoo and Bumble are together, while Tinder and Hinge are together under a different company.
Yet I found myself shut out across all four at essentially the same time.
How?
That's a genuine question.
What disappoints me most isn't even simply being banned.
It's the complete lack of transparency afterwards.
If I've genuinely done something wrong, tell me.
Give me the specific incident.
Give me the guideline I've breached.
Give me the opportunity to explain what happened.
Actually investigate it.
And give people a meaningful appeal process where another human being looks at the circumstances rather than sending another generic copy-and-paste message about Community Guidelines.
If you investigate something properly and conclude I've broken your rules, fine. At least then I know what I'm actually accused of doing.
But more than a year later, I'm still asking the same basic question:
What did I do?
Community Guidelines are important. Safety is important. Moderation is important.
But accountability and transparency work both ways.
So yes:
BOYCOTT BADOO.
BOYCOTT BUMBLE.
BOYCOTT TINDER.
BOYCOTT HINGE.
I'm incredibly disappointed in these platforms. Not simply because they banned me, but because when someone genuinely asks for help understanding what has happened, the response shouldn't be another generic paragraph and a link to Community Guidelines.
Treat people like human beings. Look into the individual circumstances. Give people an explanation.
Because right now, as we get further into 2026, it's becoming increasingly difficult not to feel like being gay means being single for the rest of your life.
How are you supposed to properly date someone when you're being banned from mainstream dating apps without explanation, being catfished by people pretending to be somebody else, dealing with unsolicited sexual content and then being pushed towards apps where the expectation is predominantly sexual?
Maybe that's dramatic.
But I'm genuinely disappointed that this is what modern gay dating increasingly feels like.
I don't just want sex. I want to meet somebody. I want dates. I want a relationship. I want something real.
And apparently in 2026, simply finding somewhere to genuinely look for that is becoming the hardest part.

I've said in my bio that I'm looking for a man that already has children because I don't want any more (also I dont hookup), but i get a lot of messages from men that say, I don't have children but I don't want any. So if you don't want children, why would you want to date someone that has them?

Maybe they genuinely hate texting. Maybe it’s the oldest excuse in the dating handbook.

Pick your side - one word, one sentence, or your hottest take.

How do you feel about dating via phone and text?

I feel like everyone has a different comfort level when it comes to meeting someone they connected with online. Some people prefer talking for weeks and building trust before meeting, while others feel that a short coffee or a casual meetup is the only real way to know if there is chemistry.

I think the tricky part is finding the balance between not rushing into meeting someone and not spending too much time building a connection that might feel completely different in person.

What is your usual approach? Do you prefer chatting longer first, or meeting sooner to see how the conversation feels face to face?

What usually makes you comfortable enough to meet someone offline?

Matched with a guy who seemed great on paper. Same university, lots in common, easy conversation. He did talk about himself A LOT though....how successful he was, how hardworking he was, how many women wanted him.

We went on a couple of dates and everything was fine until breakfast the next morning.

I was casually using my phone when he suddenly asked: “Are you swiping on dating apps right now?”

I wasn't, so I showed him my phone.

Then he told me his ex had cheated on him, he was seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist, and that he wasn't ready for a relationship. Apparently his psychologist had told him: “Don't make any important decisions right now.”

So he could only casually date.

Which was fine. I didn't want him making any big decisions because of me either. 😄

But I found it funny that the guy who kept telling me how many women wanted him was already worried about whether I was looking at other men.

Do you think this was just insecurity from being cheated on, or was he projecting?

I’ve genuinely started wondering whether men actually read dating app profiles before swiping, or if some just look at the first photo and swipe right. 

My own brother has completely convinced me it might be the second one. He can sit there swiping right without even looking at the screen. I’ve even seen him swipe right on profiles with random pet photos, landscapes, houses, etc.

At this point, I’m convinced he could accidentally match with a golden retriever and keep going. 😂

So I’m genuinely curious:

Men, do you actually read profiles before swiping, or are you mostly deciding based on the photos?

Let me help out the men with your profile pics:

1. NO FUCKING FISH. We do not care.
2. No group photos. I’m not doing an investigation as to which one you are.
3. Make the first one a decent close up view of you whole, actual face.
4. Don’t do some weird shit like have your pants falling down or you’re in a dress, or you’re fake kicking the balls of a statue of a bull.
5. If you have a zit, a booger, something in your teeth, notice that and either post another picture instead, or edit it out. Wtf?!!

Am I missing anything ladies? I’m just so weirded out as to why they would present themselves like that. I IMMEDIATELY swipe left if I see any of this. What are you guys even doing out there? Why am I even helping you? I’m just astounded as to the amount of crap profiles.

Hi everyone, super quick question: is reddit any good for dating, finding matches locally etc or is it best to stay clear and use regular apps/sites?

Anyone had any success?

Am I the arsehole for not wanting to match with men who use AI to write their bio on dating apps?

(not including if English isn’t their first language)

I see many women post this. Just wondering what others think.

I’m a 26M who’s been talking to a 29F for about 6 weeks. We live in different states (I’m in NC and she’s in Colorado), and we both work in the mental health field.

We’ve developed what I feel is a pretty strong connection. We’ve talked about family, spirituality, music, childhood, careers, relationships, dreams, etc. We’ve also had one 25-minute phone call that was great.

Early on, we were texting 4–5 times throughout the day, pretty much every day. There was a lot of enthusiasm, flirting, questions, sharing pictures, and generally getting to know each other. It felt like we were both really excited about the connection.

We’ve actually talked about wanting a soul-level connection eventually, but we both agree that we want to take a slow-burn approach. Neither of us wants to rush into something intense. We want to build trust, safety, comfort, and genuinely get to know each other first.

Over the last 10 days or so, I’ve noticed a pretty significant change. We’re now sometimes only having 1–2 exchanges a day, and her messages have generally become shorter. She’s still warm when she responds, still asks about my life, calls me cute/cutie, shares personal things, and seems engaged in the conversation. So it’s not like she’s suddenly cold or ignoring me completely.

She’s also had a lot going on recently with work and finishing her supervised hours and licensing exam, so I know she could genuinely just have less bandwidth.

The confusing part is that the change happened pretty noticeably. I’m trying not to overanalyze individual texts or assume the worst, but I can’t help noticing that the communication isn’t what it was during the first month.

I just got back from a long trip and was thinking about asking if she’d want to have another phone call or maybe video chat. I don’t want to do it as a way of seeking reassurance or trying to force the old texting frequency back. I genuinely just miss talking to her and would like to hear her voice again.

For people who have experienced this kind of thing: does this sound like a normal transition from the initial excitement into a more sustainable rhythm, or would you interpret the decrease in frequency/length as a sign that interest is fading?

I’m trying to remind myself that a slow burn isn’t necessarily going to have the same intensity every week. At the same time, I don’t want to use “slow burn” as an excuse to ignore a genuine change in someone’s interest.

What would you do in my position