Husband wants me to quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom because of his childhood trauma
I'm 25F, husband is 27M, and we have a sweet 2-year-old son. We've been doing pretty well overall, but we're stuck on a big decision and I could really use some outside perspectives.
My husband is asking me to leave my job and become a full-time stay-at-home mom. The main reason is that he had a really bad experience with an abusive babysitter when he was little, so he has zero trust in nannies, daycares, or any kind of sitter. He just can't bring himself to leave our son with anyone else.
I actually like working. It gives me a sense of purpose, adult conversation, and my own paycheck (even though it's much smaller than his). I’m not ready to give that up yet, especially while our son is still so young.
When I told him I don’t want to quit, he offered to be the stay-at-home dad instead. But then he reminded me that he earns 10 times more than I do. If he stops working, we’d have to make massive lifestyle changes — probably sell our house, cut vacations, dining out, savings goals, everything. We just couldn’t keep the life we have now.
I completely understand his fear because of what happened to him as a kid, and I don’t want to ignore his feelings. At the same time, I feel trapped. I don’t want to resent staying home, but I also don’t want us to blow up our finances.
He is willing to change our prenup and he offered me to work for him which is WFH but honestly it's not real job I have no real work to do
Edit .......>I’m a beautician, and along with three friends, I started a new business where we are equal partners in running it, with me holding a 40% ownership share. My husband invested my share of the capital on my behalf, as I was initially planning to take a loan, but he preferred to support me financially instead. The business is registered in my name, and I will continue to receive income from it even if I don’t actively return to work. After taking a 2.5-year break, I now feel ready and motivated to contribute actively to the business again and be more involved in its growth and operations.