Long-term compatibility in aviation
I am a pilot (at school training for CFII) with the intention of going to the airlines. My long-distance partner struggles with change and prefers predictable and consistent routines. They have a young child from another relationship, and although custody is evenly split, they regularly feel overwhelmed by the demanding nature of raising a child and look forward to sharing in day to day household tasks with me when I move in after my training is done and I find a CFI job in their town so we can finally close the gap.
I am absolutely in love with this person and committed to this relationship, child and all. I am just worried that the frequent changes imposed by the airline lifestyle will be too much for them/build resentment. The benefits of working for the airlines seem to be maximized when the entire family can be flexible (last-minute tag alongs on trips, celebrating holidays on different days, having back-up support at home if trips get unexpectedly extended, etc.).
I have tried to emphasize to them how much flexibility and adaptation and trust our relationship will need to make this work. They say they are aware and can fully adapt, they just don’t want to feel like a single parent/managing the household themselves. They regularly emphasize that this is their most important request. I told them of course they don’t want to feel that way and I fully understand why - to help with those feelings we can hire a nanny, a regular cleaning service, etc and I encouraged them to find hobbies/part time work so they have things to look forward to while I’m gone. They agreed.
I have lots of hope we can grow through these inevitable career+life changes and checkpoints as a team, just want to be prepared and learn how other aviation families have managed it. Any insight from airline pilot partners would be much appreciated!