u/Distinct-Set

Hey, 25m here.

My mental health starts to decline. I have my very good days, where I want to go out, be with friends have fun, go party. But these are always followed by AT LEAST 1-2 weeks of me wanting to completely isolate myself.

From day to day I more and more isolate myself. Back a year or two ago, I always went into discord with the boys. Nowdays I'm there maybe once or twice every 1-2 weeks for like 2 hours before I leave or go into full-mute, because I just want to be alone.

Then, when i'm alone I always feel so miserable. I feel like its pointless or im stuck in life or I live the worst life ever. Nothing brings me true joy anymore. I hide all these feelings from my family. I think they didn't saw me sad in the last 5 years. But I am.

My room is always a mess, I don't feel good in here, yet I can't clean it. I just can't everything inside of me stops me & when I get to clean it a little bit, it starts to look like a total mess 2 days leter again.

Just thinking about trying to get therapy (I never had any, I have nothing diagnosed etc.) drains me so much mentally (What will parents think, how do I tell people, everyone thinks im always happy, how can I even get therapy, who will help me etc.) that I just don't do anything about it.

I just finished university, got my first safe job, earn money, have good friends. But yet I'm not happy. People would probably do everything they can to live my life. Yet I'm not happy.

Is there anything which helps you peeps out there? What is wrong with me?

// Vent Post

I'm the happy, always outgoing and joke making with friends type of 25 year old guy. I always try to be there for everyone, I go out with friends. I have a healthy and nice friend group, I'm never alone.

But, actually, I'm not.

In fact I do all these things in my day to day life. But I’m not happy very often. I often sit at home, not knowing what to do with myself, worried about the future (even though I have a permanent, full-time job after recently earning my bachelor’s degree). Some people would probably give anything to be able to live my life. I live in a good family situation, have good friends, and a job I enjoy (where I don’t make much money, but hey, I have a steady job), so why does my body feel like: "Nope, you have to be sad now! Be sad, cry, feel bad today, feel good while you are with your friends or playing a game but hey, right after, you will feel bad again!"

I always think about trying to do therapy. But then, what will my friends and family think? Yes my friends get to see me when I have a bad day and I say to them "ahh I feel like shit today" or joke about "God damn these winter-depression" and stuff but especially my family would NEVER think I would need therapy. I don't know if they ever saw me truely sad the last 5 or even 10 years.

Also, I tried to find a place for therapy already (like a year ago or something) but so many psychologist told me "Sorry no room for new patients", "You could try to call us again in 6 months to see if we get some space". & Hey I understand it, they can't take everyone but I feel so discouraged to continue trying or try again.

I just don't know what to do, simply thinking about trying to do something in the direction of therapy or getting help DRAINS me. What also adds to my problems is my ADHD. My room is almost all the time a mess, I never let friends come over, I just can't get to clean, my desk for work (I work home office) is always a mess. I'm buying stupid shit from my money I don't even need. I'm happy that I at least care about my appearance. I don't think anyone would ever assume I have feelings like this if they saw or knew me surface level.

One more thing which adds to all of this is the question of my sexuality the last 9-10 months. Oh man, I don't want to get started.

So. How long can I still go like this? Will it stop someday? With a raise in my job? After the next vacation I do later this year? Man I hope.

Hey Community,

first of all thanks for everyone who reads this and might be interested.

I have a WoW Server concept in my mind, which would already work with only a small community. It's a pretty niche concept which I play around with quite some time now. Please note its still in early stages and a pure hobby/passion project.

Name: Re:Azeroth - Reclaim Azeroth!

The "Base" Idea:
- Crossfaction, Horde and Alliance play together and all start in The Barrens.
- In the beginning ONLY The Barrens are unlocked. So it's the only unlocked Zone in the beginning.
- All other - not yet unlocked zones - give a debuff which kills the player after entering the zone within 20 seconds.
- Players need to work together to unlock more and more Zones of the World.
- Unlocking Zones work by players contributing Materials (Ores, Cloth, Herbs, Meat, Mob Drops etc.) to a NPC. When the Material Donation Goal is reached, the "Fog of War" in that Zone is gone, however its NOT yet unlocked. "Invaders" are now inside the Zone for a certain time. Players need to work together to kill them all. Invaders give Reputation for a custom new Faction. Once all Invaders are killed, a Zone Boss Spawns inside the Zone which needs to be killed by the players. Once the boss is killed, the Zone is fully unlocked & players start to work towards the next Zone. (Could be Barrens -> Ashenvale -> Stonetalon -> Dustwallow Marsh -> Thousand Needles -> Tanaris -> Feralas -> Un'Goro etc.)
- Which each unlocked Zone the Level Cap of Players increases too. For Example when nothing is unlocked yet (only The Barrens as "Starting Zone") max level is 25, with the next Zone 30, then 35, 40 etc. until 60. (Server will be capped to Vanilla/Classic).
- A Zone is unlocked "forever" after its unlocked once, however "Anomalies" can happen in Zones, where it shortly gets invaded by "Invaders".

Other Side-Systems:
- Reclaimer Reputation: Unlocks Cosmetic Ranks, depending on how high your Rep with "The Reclaimers" is. (Rep. Sources are for example, killing Mobs, doing Quests, Contributing Materials etc.)

This is the base/rough idea. Ofc it can be improved a lot and there could be added so much more stuff, like any kind of PvP aspect maybe etc. I'm open to ideas from the community.

But most importantly, would anyone be actually interested in this idea? I thought about a kind of Server like this, because it already works with a small community of players and is a fun and new twist to the "normal" wow progression. :)

Be sure to leave me your feedback & also join the Discord if you want to be part of the journey!

JOIN DISCORD: https://discord.gg/FpWDf5bhjf