u/Dizzy_Lab_7339

My father raises meat rabbits, and a little while ago I started processing the hides. I'm mostly trying out different processes of tanning and figuring out what works best. But now I'm just curious if you could use the bark of multiple trees for one tanning solution.

Would it tan fine but have varied results, maybe one of the tree barks would come out on top, or would it just end up as a mix of all the traits of the barks? (Maybe it would explode, who knows XD)

Hi everyone, I'm 19 and after a long fought battle I'm gonna get on T soon. This is everything I've been wishing for, for so long, but when I think about it too long, a pit forms in my stomach, and my mind goes, "What if you regret it?" and it feels like poison being poured down my throat. Because this is literally everything I want, I want the deep voice, the T-dick, the facial hair, I want to have a flat chest, and I want to go outside shirtless.

Whenever a stranger calls me a young man, I have this nice fluttery feeling in my stomach, and when I get misgendered, I feel this crushing disappointment like I somehow failed.

I've been out to everyone since I was 16, including my parents and, more recently, my grandparents too. With every change I made towards being more masculine, I've felt better and better. I started the process to get on T the moment I turned 18 (the youngest you can start where I'm from), and I've spent the last year ping-ponging my way through the healthcare system. I overcame my pretty fucking severe social anxiety to make phone calls to doctors, even though they left me shaking afterwards, I kept making phone calls. (My country has a lot of requirements to get on T, and very few doctors who are willing or capable of taking you on as a patient.)

The one thing that my mind always points to during this type of anxiety is the fact that I had depression. From sometime in middle school up until last year, I was having cycles of being kinda okay and a deep depression that barely let me out of bed. And it didn't get magically fixed when I started transitioning. So my anxiety is saying that because it didn't fix my depression, it might not be right for me.

(Getting my first gender affirming haircut pulled me out of a depressive episode that had been eating me up for weeks)

(Anyway, I got on antidepressants about a year ago, and I've been doing really well since.)

The thing is, I know that this is just anxiety, logically I know that, but these thoughts keep me in a chokehold when I'm not occupied with something else. I used to have some pretty severe anxiety, and the antidepressants helped with that, too. But for the last few weeks, I've been noticing my anxiety is the highest it's been since I started medication. I'm honestly not sure why that is. Maybe it's the heat soft boiling my brain, who knows.

I'm at my wits' end. Any advice would be appreciated

After a long journey im finally gonna get on testosterone soon (yippey) but there is just one thing im anxious about.

My biggest fear has always been pregancy, even before i realized i was trans. I hate my period but the one thing it does is assure me im not pregnant.

But after ill get on T and my periods stop, ill have no assurance im not pregnant every month. (If you didnt know, you can still get pregant while on T)

Im just kinda anxious. And im scared my anxiety will get worse and keep getting worse without that monthly assurance that im not pregnant.

Does anyone have similiar fears, if so, how did you deal with it?