u/Donut-Paladin

I don’t know if this is a spoiler. But I have a question about Catalina and Alessandro. In Book 2 of her trilogy, she said something about Alessandro being her only relationship while they’re driving somewhere. I just finished re-reading book one as well, and nowhere did it seem like they were in an actual committed relationship.

Am I missing something? Catalina admits she was very sheltered because she had to protect people from her power in book 2. Which I guess explains why everything is so intense when she sees him in her first book and why she is so emotionally immature. But to label what they had in book one a relationship seems like such a stretch to me, and then he agrees with her in book 2. It’s just really weird. Thoughts?

Hi, everyone. I’m at a point in my life where I have to make new friends, but I’m having some trouble.

It stems from my past, I believe. I was bullied by my older sister a lot when I was a child as well as my grandmother. I also had several aggressive teachers who affected me as a little kid, and then my boyfriends also bullied me, making fun of my interests, the way I spoke, etc for years. I obviously did not like how that felt one bit, but instead of becoming sweet and kind, over the years I’ve basically turned the way I was treated on others.

I want to make friends and to socialize, but I have noticed that eventually, my inner bully comes out. I can be very mean and it’s like I’m channeling everyone who ever mistreated me and it’s just an automatic reaction that I immediately regret once the words are spoken. I have a huge inner critic that is normally turned on me, but when I get into groups, I turn it on others.

I would love anyone’s advice on how to stop doing this. I know it’s not good, I don’t want to hurt people, and of course I just won’t make friends until I can fix it. But the conundrum is that to make friends and I guess to Practice being a decent person, you have to be around people, and I’m afraid to mistreat them in the process of trying to change.

Any advice welcome. Thank you.