Mid life awakening
I’ve had so many chapters in my life.
I survived a traumatic, abusive, and unstable childhood. I got sober in my 20s and made myself a promise: I would become more than I thought I could be, and I would never pass up an opportunity to really live. I wanted a big, full life. One without regrets.
So I took every opportunity that crossed my path—and eventually learned to create my own.
I married and divorced in my 30s. I walked away from everything I had built because I knew it wasn’t my path. I started over in my 40s. I dated in LA, built a career, and kept pushing the treadmill forward while quietly asking myself, Is this it?
I had done the work. I had grown. I had built a life. I had a great career, friends, vacations, money. But was this it?
Eventually, I resolved to be single. I bought a vintage motor yacht and lived on it full-time. And strangely enough, that decision brought me to one of the most unexpected periods of my life.
During Covid, I found myself in a position where, for the first time, I had extended stretches of actual play and joy. I remembered what it felt like to simply be alive without constantly trying to accomplish something.
It changed me.
When that chapter ended, I knew I couldn’t go back to the grind.
I struggled through menopause and years of accumulated stress. And then, somehow, I met my person.
I had dreamed about this man before I met him. We mirrored each other in ways that still amaze me. He had lived a nomadic life, and I was finally ready to be free.
So I liquidated my life, packed what I could into two suitcases, and left.
A year later, after spending time in Southeast Asia, we’re living in rural Serbia, rehabbing a hundred-year-old mud-brick house.
But we aren’t just renovating a house.
We’re creating a life that actually supports how we want to live.
Quiet. Simple. More natural. Less consumption. Less chasing the new car, the bigger job, the next achievement.
We wake up to quiet and fall asleep under the stars.
I feel more loved and more at peace than I ever have.
It’s coming up on a year since I left my life in LA. Do I miss parts of it? Absolutely. There are people, places, experiences, and pieces of that life that I’ll always carry with me.
But I’m also kind of in awe of what my husband and I are co-creating.
For most of my life, I thought the goal was to build a bigger life.
Now I think maybe the goal is to build a life that actually feels like yours.
I’m excited for this next chapter.
And honestly, I can’t wait to see what’s next