u/DoughJaneDough

I had one of those conversations today that leaves you staring into the distance questioning modern parenting.

I was chatting with another mom from my daughter’s school. She has a son heading into 11th grade and a younger daughter around my kid’s age.

The topic of summer jobs came up, and I casually said, “I think it’s great when kids work in high school. At this point we’re basically raising adults.”

You would’ve thought I’d suggested sending children into the coal mines.

She looked genuinely shocked. Confused, even.

Trying to make conversation, I pointed out that her son is only about two years away from being old enough to enlist in the military, vote, sign contracts, and generally make life-altering decisions.

Silence.

Awkward silence.

The thing is, this kid has zero responsibilities outside of school. No job. No chores. No cooking. No laundry. No budgeting. No life skills that I’m aware of.

And I couldn’t stop thinking: How did we get here?

My generation was full of latchkey kids. We came home to empty houses, made questionable snacks, started laundry, babysat siblings, got jobs at 15, and somehow survived drinking water straight from garden hoses.

Now some teenagers are treated like they’re delicate woodland creatures who must never experience inconvenience.

We’re 2 years from adulthood, not 12 years.

At what point did “protecting our kids” become “preventing them from learning how to function without us”?

Maybe I’m the weird one. But if your teenager can drive a car at 60 mph, they can probably learn how to run a washing machine.

I’ve always enjoyed hosting game nights, birthdays, and holidays with friends and/or family in my adult years. Turns out my kiddo is following in my footsteps.

Like me, she hosts friends, sometimes 1 or 2, and sometimes a larger group at least once a month. Note, she’s the only ”friend” from the group that does this, and is occasionally invited to a birthday, at best. No families from the current friend group host anything.

She recently was accused of leaving some people out of a game night, but the issue was I was picking the kids up from school, and only have seats for max 3 friends. No other parents seem to have time to help drive, or host, even though they are ALL stay at home moms. I work 2 jobs, and somehow manage to support my daughter in having a healthy social life outside of social media. The other moms don’t seem to care.

I refuse to force my kid to stop having whoever she wants over, but logistically, I can’t always afford or to drive bigger groups. (it’s never just a kid or two singled out to be excluded, by the way)

I’d like to encourage others to consider hosting, even at a park, just to teach your kids how to connect socially as an adult. Somehow society has forgotten how to nurture relationships with neighbors, friends, community. wWe can help the next generation recover from this loneliness by setting the example and teaching them.

I know for some this isn’t possible, and I’m not talking about you. I know we all have our own limitations. But, healthy friendships are directly related to mental health, so I would love to see our kids learn how to build these bridges.