u/DownNoutBarbie

I'm 47 and my husband left me and our special needs kids. We ended up homeless and I struggled to find work and get us a safe place. I found a job in insurance and made them my focus. They both required so much care and we never got assistance. They are on their way to college in the fall. Both of them have scholarships but I still need to cover over costs.

I was hoping to become a nurse as I have been working has a CNA previously (which I hate but I do well). I wanted to finish nursing school by 48. But, perimenopause has hit and it's crumbling me. I can't think, sleep and barely can control my emotions.

NO DOCTOR WILL PRESCRIBE HRT BECAUSE OF MY CARDIAC HISTORY. I had a small heart attack a few years ago. I spent years working two or more jobs plus caring for the kids. Going days without sleep and living off coffee and redbulls. I wasn't surprised when it happened.

I wanted to start my third act has a nurse. I can't even read a book now. I can't remember anything. My kids keep track of my keys and wallet because I cry if I can't find them.

I fucking hate this. Couldn't this have waited a few more years!!! I'm gonna live the rest of my life with nothing. I'm never going to travel with my kids. I'm never going to travel. Just stuck working a shit job. I am so pissed off. I didn't know the change would be this detrimental. I no longer believe life is worth living. Being poor is awful. I can't describe to daily humiliation and dread that overtook the hope I had. The change is awful when your poor. I can't slow down but I have no other choice. My heart hurts so bad.

I got laid off two years ago. I cannot find *anything*. I am doing door dash to make ends meet. I live in an small apartment, about 5K in credit card debt (all charged within the last year because of medical visits due to no insurance) with my two kids. We live in Mesquite, TX.

I have a lease car got I got 8 months before I was laid off. I have been able to make the payments but I have some health issues and can't drive much. I took a small sum from my IRA to hold us over.

However, I am considering filling for bankruptcy because I cannot keep up with the lease payments. However, I was told that withdrawing from my IRA means they can use those funds can now be used to pay the debt on the car. I am planning on filing on my own since it's just the car which I owe 20K on. I don't want to keep the car.

I keep hoping for find a job but at 56, I have had no luck. I don't want to buy a house after or anything. I don't want to loose my 401K. I am trying to keep it for my kids.

thank you

I just read through the code of conduct and it discussed social media and not doing anything that would bring a negative light on the department.

I teach and perform pole, heels and striptease classes. I have a medium size presence on socials.

I don't use my real name and never mix work. I am currently a psych tech/nursing assistant and think moving into corrections would be a good fit.

If administration was to find out would it be an offense worthy of dismissal?

I applied and have my interview scheduled for the Gainesville facility.