A tribute to my baby Jasper
This week I had to make the hardest decision I’ve ever faced, he started to take a turn for the worse. Just a little over a year ago he had a severe urine blockage, I thought that was it, he was only three years old and I was heartbroken. I thought I had waited too long, the vet gave me some time before they took him in for his emergency procedure. He stayed for around a week and almost blocked again. It was a hard recovery for him, he was a very sensitive cat he struggled with the smallest things. But I loved him and I did everything I could for him. It ended up being over a thousand dollars but I couldn’t have cared, my baby was still there and things started looking up again. About 6 ish months after he would have small episodes of him constantly being in the litter box but not have any of the other symptoms and immediately be okay. About a month ago it started to be a lot more consistent I just kept monitoring his food intake, water intake, how much he peed everytime. I constantly cleaned the litter box got another litter box in case that wasn’t enough. I took him to the vet again and fortunately he wasn’t blocked, they gave him an antibiotic and anti-inflammatory shot. He seemed to be a bit better and I was hopeful. We’ve been struggling a bit financially but I still found a way to get him everything he needed even if that meant I was spending some money I didn’t have. It happened literally over night all of the symptoms came flooding back I was hysterical, I spent almost the entire night cuddled up on the floor with him, we had the conversation on what we would do if he was blocked again. Lots of tears but it’s been so hard for me to see him struggle so badly. We had researched all of our options, I had already ordered a diffuser hoping that’d help him. Unfortunately it did not arrive until after he was put to rest. But we researched different surgeries, but they were all going to be thousands of dollars and have extensive recovery periods. I finally got a few hours of sleep, I regret deeply. He started throwing up the same white liquid as the last time this happened. I realized my other cat had been eating all of the food the days prior, I was working awkward shifts, 3p-1:30a, so I didn’t realize until it was too late he wasn’t eating. I called my vet, they were completely booked but told me to come in immediately, I had my boyfriend drive and wrapped him up in a towel and we rushed over, still about a 45 minute drive. I’m so grateful I got that time to cuddle up with my baby one last time. The vet immediately came out and took him back to be evaluated, I’m sobbing I know what’s coming. The entire waiting room was just staring at me, I couldn’t feel anything but envy watching everyone leaving with their pets because deep down I knew what was going to happen. The vet came out to tell us he was blocked, he knew we were stretched thin already, he said even with the procedure he more than likely would block again unless we went through with PU procedure. They would remove his penis and replace it with something closer to a female cat’s anatomy to prevent further blocking, but informed us that procedure alone would be over 5,000 dollars. Neither of us would’ve gotten approved for that much care credit or realistically be able to pay it back. We knew even if we surrender him that it would inevitably result in putting him to rest. I feel so guilty knowing that it could have possibly ended up differently. At that point the vet got us a room and explained the entire process, we got some time alone before the sedation shot and I just felt so terrible. I didn’t want to let him suffer anymore but at the same time I selfishly just wanted to take him home. Eventually they gave him his shot and he fell asleep very fast, I was able to hold him throughout the entire process even the euthanasia shot. I had to feel him take his final breath and it broke my heart. Having to leave without him, but I hope he was able to feel our love before he went. I was able to take the hair they shaved for the shot home with me and will be putting it in a locket. I picked up his ashes today and it just doesn’t feel fair. I just feel so lost without him, he was so silly and affectionate. He was my soul cat.