u/Downtown_Grand_2032

So I have a friend Ash, she keeps talking about Yaoi everytime I talk to her, she's a really good friend tho so I like hanging out with her but whenever I go to her place or go outside with her the only thing she talks about is Yaoi. I already have less social energy and yesterday I saw 46 wp messages about Yaoi.. same on insta she keeps sending me 30+ reels about that and I'm not even interested in Yaoi....

From my childhood people have been complimenting my fair/ white skin colour like crazy, it felt racist to me in a way but now I've been brainwashed to myself want other white features like lighter eyes and blonde hair, although I'm not insecure about my dark brown hair because my hair is really long so it makes up for the colour.. but my eye colour.. I hate it soooo much it's so bland you can't even see my pupils it's so simple so basic, everyone tells me I would look better with coloured eyes, even my mom (who's also indian) has green eyes so people keep telling me "you had a chance! But didn't get green eyes" all because of my dad's brown eyes ugh anyways even my older sister has light eyes, they're brown but atleast light brown and I'm here with my basic eyes.. people tell me I have been "nerfed by God" I hate it :(

Whenever I scroll reels if I even see some person with light eyes I stop and feel jealous, this happens while watching series too.. I feel like if any guy in my country likes me it's only because he can't get any other prettier girl, I'm the last option they got ... Maybe this is all because of the environment i grew in but I genuinely lowkey believe no guy in my country would like me for me and only like me cus he can't get a white girl