u/Downtown_Memory_894

We have just returned from a 3 week holiday during which our 6 month old baby co-slept with me (mum) the entire time.

Although we have only been back for 2 days, she has been refusing to stay in her bassinet after the first 2 hours. Prior to our holiday she was sleeping in her bed-side bassinet but coming into bed at around 2/3am. I rock to sleep at the moment as well.

I feel like I’m going to have to re-train her on sleeping in her bed-side bassinet if she keeps going like this. But I was also thinking about moving her to her crib in her own room soon for bed-time. She already takes all naps in her crib.

SO should I just start crib training now? And also gentle sleep training? Or is it worse if I do it all at once?

I’m looking for a gentle sleep training method here ☺️

After 3 years of infertility treatment including 1 year ovulation inductions, 1 laparoscopy, 2 egg retrievals, 120 injections, 2 uterine biopsies, a round of antibiotics, 1 failed transfer…we finally got pregnant with my beautiful baby girl who is now sleeping peacefully next to me.

BUT THEN - my pregnancy was horrendous. Vomiting and nausea for 20 weeks, exhaustion that never subsided, swollen joints, insomnia, headaches, and finally obstetric cholestasis which meant being induced at 38 weeks. I thought yay!! I’m going to give birth naturally, did so much prep and had a list of things I wanted to do to make sure to give birth naturally

BUT - once my waters were broken, back to back contractions, called for an epidural. Was comfortable and dilating for 9 hours. Stopped progressing, epidural stopped working, got a fever, baby rotated and got stuck and distressed, rushed to emergency C. Had a reaction to the anaesthetic, could only hold my baby for a few minutes, didn’t see her again for 2 hours. Finally got to hold her in our room and have our first night. The next day was blissful and beautiful, noticing her tiny features. Getting family to come visit.

BUT THEN - from day 2 my nervous system went haywire, maybe the hormones?? Or my history of depression but I BROKE. I couldn’t stop crying, it felt like electricity was running through my body, any loud noise would send a rush to my head, I thought about killing myself every second of every day, then my dog died, people still came to visit, I should have said no, I was crying the maternity halls down, got sent home, spent 10 days trying not to take my own life while trying to absorb my daughters presence and her magic.

It’s taken months for my nervous system to realise we are safe, and yet I still bear the scars of its anger everywhere.

I came across this sub just out of curiosity, but when I read the words “I choose a peaceful life” I leaned in even closer. People describing their nervous system requiring a calm life, where even 1 can be a handful at times but manageable. I think this might be for me.

We still have 3 healthy embryos and I always imagined and hoped for 2 babies. But it seems like every time i have hoped or imagined for something, it has failed me, so maybe 1 is perfect so i dont have to go through the next few years waiting for the other shoe to drop again, or become a shell of myself for a whole year, absent from my daughter to grow another human that doesn’t exist. I want to give her absolutely everything and it would seem so unfair to put my life at risk just to complete a plan I once made.

I intend to give my daughter the very best of me, to explore the world, to open her mind and engage her in all life has to offer. I am fully committed to her. She has 4 cousins a few days or months apart that live close by, and many more cousins 1 or 2 years older. I know that she will never be lonely. But she may still ask for a sibling when she’s older?

Shes going to be okay right?