u/Draggoonl_l

I’ve been dealing with some sort of depression basically on and off for over five years. Some months I feel okay, some months it feels awful. Recently I’ve been in another dip, and it’s probably the worst I’ve ever had. Today was the first day since my episode started where I can’t recall feeling joy once. I know I’ll bounce back, I always do, but I can’t stand the thought that my whole life will be like this. Okay, then miserable. Over and over. Are some people genetically predisposed to be sad?

Each week I feel like I lose another thing that used to make me happy. Last week I didn’t even enjoy playing 40k with my friend. I’ve tried to bring up my mental health issues but he always brushes it off. Same thing with my mom. My therapist listens but that’s her job. I have no one in my life to turn to who makes me feel safe or like I’m not a freak. The only thing I have left is painting minis. I paint and go to work. That’s all I do. At least when I paint I can throw on a podcast and feel numb for a few hours instead of miserable.

A boy broke up with me back in April, and it’s been downhill ever since. It was my first relationship, and I felt like for once in my life I was worthy of someone’s appreciation and care, that I was worth being around or even attractive. He knew about my depression and said that he would stay with me and help me through it all. When he broke up with me he said he wanted to stay best friends, but I basically haven’t heard from him since, and we were best friends for seven years before we started dating. I feel like no one else understands me like he did or wants to genuinely help me. All of that confidence he gave me is gone, and I have nothing but hatred for myself. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I talk, I hate that I’m sad. I hate everyone in my life for letting me feel this way. I hate and I hate and I hate because that’s all I have left to do.

All I’ve ever wanted is to be normal. I don’t want to be sad forever.

Mutilators are now cheaper points wise than a five man terminator unit, and they seem to do the same things but better. Deep strike and being big chonky boys that punch. Mutilators also have:

• More OC (2 OC per model vs 1 OC making a three man mutilator unit 6 OC while five man terminator unit is 5 OC. Not a massive difference but something to point out.

• 15 W per squad (Same as terminators, though mutilators seems less durable due to 5+ invuln and having big bodies makes them more susceptible to high damage attacks. However, entire mutilators can be brought back to life in cabal of chaos. Interesting! I guess termies too if you attach a sorcerer.)

•SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER MELEE. (Maybe I’m stupid but terminators really seem to hit like a wet sock for how expensive they are. 12 chain/powerfist attacks in a five man at S8 -2 AP 2 damage. And the accursed weapon too, but… it’s an accursed weapon. Versus 12 rending strikes attacks at S9 -3 AP 3 damage. Not to even mention the clawed sweeps and thunderous blows profiles that make the mutilators good into basically everything in the game!)

• Free charge rerolls. (They’re making that damn charge.)

• Mortal wounds on a charge. (The ability is alright cause it’s one die for each model on a 4+ so it’s a bit swingy but a couple free mortals always helps.

•Can be lead by Kravek Morne. (He fucks. Also counts as a model in the unit for the mutilators mortal wounds ability, and reroll charge means the mutilators are better at getting him into melee.)

Things mutilators DON’T have:

• Shooting. (Oh no! Not my combi bolters! Aren’t combi bolters so amazing? In actuality I think the better melee more than makes up for not having shooting.)

• Hit rerolls. (This is actually kind of interesting because hit rerolls make them actually hit quite consistently, and if a battle brother likes gambling you can always fish for sustained hits. Also carries over to the character, which is actually pretty awesome.)

• Being able to have ten man squads. (I’m not sure what tactical benefit this serves, but I do see people doing it a lot. Kinda seems like too many points of terminators. Also it feels lame you can’t run six man mutilators. Why not? The corpse worshippers get six man centurion squads… I think it’s bias.)

• Cool little hippo helmets. (Terminators do look quite swaggy I won’t lie.)

What do you think? Are terminators still useful? How do YOU make use of them? (Maybe you just don’t want to buy the new mutilator models, so run the deep strike punchy boys you already have. That’s a damn good reason.)