r/minicels

I’m a trans woman who’s always had an internal draw to Christianity, especially manifestoing nowadays a belief in Liberal or folk socialist Catholicism. I am a genuine believer in my faith with a dislike of modern American style Protestantism and my hatred of modern “pop leftism” AND the state of neoliberal and Putinist Conservativism (i want Keynesian beliefs and Macmillianism back darn it). The fallout of the breakup hangs over me and idk if i am thinking right atm

Basically what the title says. She made a risky joke which led to a talk about our relationship and we agreed that we both liked each other enough to consider each other girlfriend / boyfriend. A year ago I would have thought this to be impossible. Never give up, and don't quell your nerdiness for a girl that doesn't even like you that much. Stay strong out there fellas.

I so desperately want to wear skirts and thigh highs and croptops and shave my legs and tummy and look cute sometimes. Not all the time, but some days I wake up and crave to be cute. I want to be able to be a cute femboy some days, to not have to be in charge, to be able to explore being a bottom, not necessarily sexually, but just as a dynamic in my life.

My dad would disown me.

My girlfriend says the idea makes her sick.

Most of my friends would have nothing else to do with me.

So I suppose I'll have to be content with owning a pair of thigh highs I wear under my jeans if I'm feeling especially daring.

If any of y'all got tips for undercover femboy stuff, lmk.

Also, how the hell do I edge highlight black?

Looking back, it’s clear to see I was putting in almost all the effort with dates and communication. I just feel dumb right now…

I'm not talkative at all which is worse when it comes to actually interacting with strangers. I feel like people think I'm autistic because I just have that type of voice. At least that's what it sounds like myself when I can't even get through a sentence. Sometimes it's a stutter or I just don't know what word to say. I've read a few articles in the past few weeks on how people are becoming illiterate. So I've been trying to make a habit of reading. Maybe my speech is related somehow? For now I think I'm better off just staying quiet. At least the only things I ever say at work are either yep, ya, or mhm.

Literally the most dogshit kit I've ever had to deal with. I spent 5 months on a warlord titan and enjoyed the entire process from scrubbing resin to freehand, even if it was a long project. This is just pissing me off. This is the best shot I could get.

Every time I talk to mutuals and they start talking about their interests, I want to bring up comics so badly but I know deep down they won't care or engage as enthusiastically as I do.

I feel similarly to when I discuss writing and storytelling to other people and leaving the conversation disappointed when they aren't as interested in certain aspects of the topic.

Even worse when I'm around whilst they discuss something popular or mainstream and it just feels like I belong less and less.

I've tried to seek out more just like me but I just can't seem to find them where I live so I may just accept the fact I'll be on my own on this one.

Next on the list is a squad of primaris inceptors, although I’m not sure if I can kitbash them and then paint them in a deathwing colour scheme. I just want to be held.

I’ve been dealing with some sort of depression basically on and off for over five years. Some months I feel okay, some months it feels awful. Recently I’ve been in another dip, and it’s probably the worst I’ve ever had. Today was the first day since my episode started where I can’t recall feeling joy once. I know I’ll bounce back, I always do, but I can’t stand the thought that my whole life will be like this. Okay, then miserable. Over and over. Are some people genetically predisposed to be sad?

Each week I feel like I lose another thing that used to make me happy. Last week I didn’t even enjoy playing 40k with my friend. I’ve tried to bring up my mental health issues but he always brushes it off. Same thing with my mom. My therapist listens but that’s her job. I have no one in my life to turn to who makes me feel safe or like I’m not a freak. The only thing I have left is painting minis. I paint and go to work. That’s all I do. At least when I paint I can throw on a podcast and feel numb for a few hours instead of miserable.

A boy broke up with me back in April, and it’s been downhill ever since. It was my first relationship, and I felt like for once in my life I was worthy of someone’s appreciation and care, that I was worth being around or even attractive. He knew about my depression and said that he would stay with me and help me through it all. When he broke up with me he said he wanted to stay best friends, but I basically haven’t heard from him since, and we were best friends for seven years before we started dating. I feel like no one else understands me like he did or wants to genuinely help me. All of that confidence he gave me is gone, and I have nothing but hatred for myself. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I talk, I hate that I’m sad. I hate everyone in my life for letting me feel this way. I hate and I hate and I hate because that’s all I have left to do.

All I’ve ever wanted is to be normal. I don’t want to be sad forever.

TLDR: healthy breakup on our 2 year anniversary due to us being unhappy, regretting it so bad

yesterday was my (now ex) girlfriend’s (F19) and I’s (M19) 2 year anniversary,, she’s my best friend and we’ve been through so much together, even getting through the first year of college (semi) long distance and now in my second year i decided to transfer over to her school because it’s better for my major!! over the last year, though, we really started to get into some nasty habits, i struggled with jealousy issues a lot and definitely pushed her away, and even when i was eventually able to deal with them we had built so much resentment for eachother that it was so hard to move forward, which in turn, ended up making us super toxic for eachother and making both of us unhappy. fast forward to yesterday, our 2 year anniversary, and we have an argument really early in the morning when getting ready to go out which ends up turning into to us sitting down and just really calmly talking about how unhappy we are and everything under the sun for four hours, we ended up coming to the same conclusion of splitting apart but agreeing to be apart of each others lives eventually in some way**,** such a healthy breakup that literally the last moments of it was us kissing and hugging eachother and saying “i love you” before saying goodbye

i just regret it so bad. even if i Know that we were so unhappy, on top of that even with how cliche it is, i can’t stop thinking about all the good that we’ve had, especially lately. i feel like our conversation yesterday is the most genuine talk we’ve ever had, and i feel like i finally just get what was so wrong that i couldn’t understand before, and now that i Do get it, it’s too late to make it work. we agreed on no contact for right now, but man, all i wanna do is reach out and ask to make it work one more time, i miss her so much already💔

dark angels hellblaster, only have 3 more minis before the DA combat patrol is done!

Idk, I’ve felt really dull about life. Can’t proudly say I love myself, but I can proudly say that claws are easy and look good