u/DragoniteZD

Hey fellas. For the past few months, I've written a WIP sci-fi story named Neosis that I'm working, and I want feedback on Chapter 1-8, mainly the story, characters, and so on. I'm a beginner writer, so I'm no pro-level or anything. I mainly want criticism on the character, Daniel Cross, which is the mainly >!villain!< in the story, but I don't know if he's terrifying to make the main character, Nero's life>! a living hell!<, because >!he's obsessed with him!<.

(I had to use spoiler here)

Here's the link

(also, there's some dark moments in there. Be warned)