u/Dramatic-Bird-5604

Just wondering if its possible. This year i want to pay off my student loans 30k and also put 150k into a house. Right now I'm at absolutely 0 been making only 2k-3k past year due to depression. Are my goals possible? I will need to make like 200k-250k in a year and most ive ever really made is like 20k because I often just dont cam for weeks due to depression but I'm realizing I can't keep living like this so I'm motivated now to work harder I just feel a little hopeless like I'll never be able to reach my goals

And I did it for hardly nothing kinda wanna die. Rough week for me

So, I used to be afraid of acne to the point where I would scrub my face with clorax bleach cleaning wipes until my face would bleed. I would use about 3 entire containers of clorax wipes a week to disinfect my face as well as other things like my phone, pillow, etc. I also could not be within 10 feet of anyone eating for fear of micro particles of food getting in my pores and I'd have a panic attack if someone walked past me too fast because I thought bacteria from their clothes or body was getting on me. At the time I thought I was being reasonable.

I had this obsession for years and it was very difficult to recover from. Then, after years of being recovered from it (unfortunately I now have other obsessions, but not this one) I realized where it came from.

When I was about 11 years old I was given a book about puberty. There was a section about acne that taught you various ways to pop pimples and hide them with makeup and the book literally said it's important to get rid of pimples because people will not be attracted to you or want to date you if you have them because its a sign of poor hygiene. And it said they were caused by bacteria. There was a lot of face wash commercials at this time with a similar message.

I already felt ugly, worthless, and unlovable, so I became convinced if I got a pimple I'd be completely hideous and unlovable and everyone would be thinking that and my life would be essentially worthless. Thus, I had a fear of acne.

But to everyone else I was just a crazy person afraid of germs , I wasn't able to explain this truth, or was even aware at the time that was what was really going on.

So now I try to figure out the origin of my fears and that helps me unravel them, and recover. A lot of times getting over the fear is about getting over the reason you have the fear

Also, I know now pimples can be caused by many things including hormones and are completely normal during puberty and even in adulthood, most humans have pimples every once in a while and in most cases it really doesn't have to do with bad hygiene. And I also learned that most people literally do not even notice or care about your pimples. It's upsetting that kind of thing was put in a book for kids going through puberty! But its kinda fascinating in a way how just hearing or seeing something like this can have such a snow ball effect.

Like how much time spent on each website and time doing other things like promo and content production and what amount you aim to make each day. I've just been lazy and looking for motivation as 15k-20k months are my goal! So far I have only cammed once this month so I'm so far behind and feeling like shit and so unmotivated, dreading getting online today because I'm worried it'll be slow since I've been gone so long and also thinking about my financial goals and how I'm so far behind, feeling like "what's the point anyway? Maybe I'll never make it" (cam girl of 10 years i just wanna buy a house and plastic surgery and I'll be happy 😂)

Also if you are able to id love like a full run down of your daily routine like from waking up to sleeping just to see for inspiration maybe what I should change

We are all on our own journey, some people just starting and some only doing part time, so there us absolutely no judgment for the amount! Some already have a bog following and are able to do 12 hour days 7 days a week, etc, so don't compare yourself, this is just out of curious to see in general how we did here last month :)

View Poll