u/DramaticArtichoke290

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Disclaimer: English is not my first language.

Me and my husband recently renovated the house of my Mother-in-Law (let's call her Anna). The house got split into 2 apartments and Anna used to live in the downstairs apartment.

Since me and my husband got married (3 years ago) my Mother-in-Law was very generous. Paying for dinner, etc. Last year she covered a bill that was 1200€ and she said she was going to pay for it. We said no and that it would be way too much. But she insisted and paid for it. I was very grateful for that.

But since she got engaged (December 2025) she started caring so much about money. She often asked if we could give money to my sister-in-law (Lisa), talked most of the time about bills and how she needed to make money before she moved out. Lisa was gifted "only" money because she doesn't want another house. Then out of the loan for the house renovation, Anna gave her 40k as a thank you.

My other sister-in-law (Taylor) then took over a large part of that at Anna's request. Me and my husband thought that was incredibly generous anyway, because she doesn't owe Lisa anything at all. All of Anna's children had waived their inheritance so that she could keep the house.

Anna does not have any bills, and doesn't have any money problems. She just wants to have a little on the side when she moves away to her future husband, because she won't work anymore after moving away. It was a little tense the last few weeks before the wedding and we talked a lot about it, how she just cannot ask for money we don't have.

After Taylor had already paid for a lot of all this, Anna started asking for other things and it just didn't stop. I mean I get that she wants to have money, because she won't have a job then, only her husband does.

But the last straw was when she asked if we could pay half of the bill from last year (1200€) because "circumstances changed." I was actually shocked, because we already talked about her constantly asking for money. (We already gave her enough money for all the bills and a small sum for of the wedding).

And she didn't just ask nicely, she said that she gave up so much for her kids, so it would be only fair for us to give her money.

We are so grateful for all the things she did, like giving up half her house so we can have our own apartment (even though it was too much space for her alone). Anna is not a bad person, I just think the stress was a lot for her.

So, am I the asshole?

For Info:

My Mother-in-Law has 3 kids and one of the daughters got her apartment when she married and moved out. All the kids had a stable housing situation, so it was clear for us that we would renovate the house together with Anna. My sister-in-law Taylor moved into the other half of Anna's renovated house. The other sibling lives further away.

I wrote this story together with my sister-in-law Taylor. If any questions come up, please ask.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language.

Me and my husband recently renovated the house of my Mother-in-Law (let's call her Anna). The house got split into 2 apartments and Anna used to live in the downstairs apartment.

Since me and my husband got married (3 years ago) my Mother-in-Law was very generous. Paying for dinner, etc. Last year she covered a bill that was 1200€ and she said she was going to pay for it. We said no and that it would be way too much. But she insisted and paid for it. I was very grateful for that.

But since she got engaged (December 2025) she started caring so much about money. She often asked if we could give money to my sister-in-law (Lisa), talked most of the time about bills and how she needed to make money before she moved out. Lisa was gifted "only" money because she doesn't want another house. Then out of the loan for the house renovation, Anna gave her 40k as a thank you.

My other sister-in-law (Taylor) then took over a large part of that at Anna's request. Me and my husband thought that was incredibly generous anyway, because she doesn't owe Lisa anything at all. All of Anna's children had waived their inheritance so that she could keep the house.

Anna does not have any bills, and doesn't have any money problems. She just wants to have a little on the side when she moves away to her future husband, because she won't work anymore after moving away. It was a little tense the last few weeks before the wedding and we talked a lot about it, how she just cannot ask for money we don't have.

After Taylor had already paid for a lot of all this, Anna started asking for other things and it just didn't stop. I mean I get that she wants to have money, because she won't have a job then, only her husband does.

But the last straw was when she asked if we could pay half of the bill from last year (1200€) because "circumstances changed." I was actually shocked, because we already talked about her constantly asking for money. (We already gave her enough money for all the bills and a small sum for of the wedding).

And she didn't just ask nicely, she said that she gave up so much for her kids, so it would be only fair for us to give her money.

We are so grateful for all the things she did, like giving up half her house so we can have our own apartment (even though it was too much space for her alone). Anna is not a bad person, I just think the stress was a lot for her.

So, am I the asshole?

For Info:

My Mother-in-Law has 3 kids and one of the daughters got her apartment when she married and moved out. All the kids had a stable housing situation, so it was clear for us that we would renovate the house together with Anna. My sister-in-law Taylor moved into the other half of Anna's renovated house. The other sibling lives further away.

I wrote this story together with my sister-in-law Taylor. If any questions come up, please ask.