Living in the end while still dealing with the 3D
I discovered manifesting recently and I’m currently trying to get my ex back.
In short: we broke up 5 months ago after I found out he had been doing hookups for half a year. I was devastated and moved out immediately. I was very emotionally attached to him, so dealing with the pain and trauma was extremely hard, and eventually I initiated contact again.
Things didn’t really improve. He said he was “processing everything” and trying to figure himself out. He admitted his mistakes and toxic traits, but never actually apologised. I told him I could forgive him and that I wanted him back, but only if he went to therapy or if we at least tried to work through things together. I know it sounds desperate, but at that point I was emotionally dependent on him and deeply attached to the version of him I believed in. In the beginning of our relationship, he truly was a good partner, and I had never been happier than during those times.
Right now, he has come to some questionable conclusions about relationships and himself. He has an FWB he spends most of his free time with. According to him, the guy is emotionally unstable, chaotic, into clubbing and alcohol, etc. My SP financially supports him, spends money on food, parties and activities together, and also calms him down emotionally almost every day, although he says he’s getting tired of it.
That hurts a little because when I was struggling with my own mental health, I received almost no emotional support from him. Instead, he criticised the way I handled things, said my doctor was incompetent, and claimed my treatment was wrong.
He told me he’s comfortable with casual relationships because “you can always leave.” He also said he doesn’t want a second chance with me. According to him, he can only offer friendship and his feelings are completely gone. He did admit that feelings can return, but said he’s not interested in that. His principle is not to return to past relationships. Right now, he just wants to enjoy life and have fun.
At the same time, I honestly think some parts of this experience were manifested by my own anxiety and fear of abandonment — the constant thoughts that he would get bored of me or leave me, which I know many anxious people struggle with.
But that’s just the 3D, and I’m no longer focusing my energy on analysing the past or the current circumstances.
I’m manifesting that he thinks about me constantly, wants me back, wants to become a better partner for me, and realises that I was the person he loved most deeply and felt safest with — someone he will never truly replace. I’m trying to live in the end, although it’s difficult because we still have limited contact: mostly sending TikToks to each other or him occasionally talking about his activities with new friends or university classmates.
What I can say is that I genuinely feel better now. I’ve accepted what happened and I understand that I probably wouldn’t have been happy if the relationship had continued in the direction it was going. I’m less anxious and I no longer spend my time overanalysing everything or asking “what if.” Sometimes I still feel sad or worried, but what helps me is allowing myself to feel emotions without turning them into thoughts. I'm just confirming that I feel emotion and that's all. I also avoid dwelling on the past because I know it interferes with manifestation.
Sometimes I even catch myself thinking that maybe it wouldn’t destroy me if he never came back. I’m focusing more on my own life now: going to the gym, seeing small progress, improving myself, and developing skills in a field I genuinely care about and want to build a future in.
I know he’s mine and that he’ll come back, but I’d still love to hear the community’s perspective and whether there’s something I should adjust in my mindset or approach.
Much love and support to everyone!