u/DramaticVirus2212

Hey everyone,
I’ve been feeling really anxious lately and just needed to get this out somewhere.

I’ve been through three layoffs in the last three years, and none of them were performance-related. I’ve consistently tried to do my best, had good feedback in my roles, and really cared about my work. But going through layoffs repeatedly has slowly worn down my sense of stability and confidence more than I expected.

Now I’m in the phase of job searching again, and honestly, it’s been emotionally exhausting. Even when I’m interviewing or getting through rounds, there’s this constant background anxiety that something will go wrong or I won’t make it through again. Rejections feel heavier now than they used to, and it’s hard not to spiral into self-doubt.

On top of that, I’ve had comments from some family and friends suggesting that this might be due to performance, even though I know that hasn’t been the case. It’s been really hard hearing that while I’m already trying to stay grounded and keep going.
Tonight is just one of those nights where everything feels a bit overwhelming — the uncertainty, the job search, and the anxiety all piling up.

Just hoping for some kindness and understanding from people who might relate or have been through something similar. Some kind words would honestly mean a lot.
Thank you

Tonight is one of those nights where the anxiety is hitting really hard.

I’ve been laid off three times in the last three years, and none of them were because of performance. I’ve consistently worked hard, received good feedback, taken ownership, and tried to do everything right. But layoffs don’t always reflect that, and that part has been difficult to accept.

What’s been even harder lately is hearing comments from some family members and friends implying that this must be happening because of performance issues. I know they may not mean harm, but it adds another layer of doubt and self-questioning on top of everything I’m already dealing with. It’s hard when you’re already trying to stay grounded and then start wondering if others are seeing something that I can’t.

I thought I’d be handling it better by now, but instead I feel like I’ve lost a sense of stability I used to take for granted. Every interview feels high-stakes. Every rejection feels heavier than it should. Even when things go okay, I still find myself waiting for things to fall apart again.

Lately, after some tough interview experiences and repeated setbacks, my confidence has taken a hit. I know logically that layoffs and hiring decisions aren’t always about individual performance, but emotionally it’s been hard to separate the two.

Tonight is just a heavy night. I feel anxious, exhausted, and honestly a bit defeated. It’s hard not to wonder if I’ll ever feel secure in my career again.
I’m sharing this because I don’t want to bottle it up, and I’m hoping to hear from people who’ve been through something similar and made it through. How did you deal with the constant anxiety? How did you rebuild confidence after repeated layoffs?
Please be kind — I’m really not in the headspace for harsh comments right now.

Thank you

I’m having a hard time processing a recent software engineering interview, and I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been on either side of the interview process.
The recruiter shared the following feedback:
“The main feedback was around solving coding problems more independently, improving completeness against test cases, and being more consistent in identifying and addressing edge cases without prompting.”
The reason this has been bothering me so much is that it doesn’t match my experience at all.
From my perspective:
I solved both coding questions completely.
I wasn’t given hints or prompts while solving.
I proactively discussed edge cases and how I’d handle them.
The interviewer was mostly silent throughout the coding portion.
I politely reached out to the recruiter asking if there might have been a mix-up because the feedback didn’t align with what I remembered. They checked internally and confirmed that the feedback was tied to my interview and that the hiring recommendation remained “Do Not Hire.”
Another thing that’s been weighing on me is the interviewer’s demeanor. To me, they came across as passive-aggressive and dismissive. The interaction didn’t feel collaborative, and I left the interview feeling uncomfortable. That alone wouldn’t have bothered me if the feedback had reflected what I thought happened, but reading that I needed prompting when I don’t remember receiving any has left me questioning everything.
What makes this even harder is my situation over the past few years.
I’ve gone through three layoffs in three years, none of which were due to performance. In every role, my performance reviews were good, and I was never placed on a performance improvement plan or let go for performance reasons. Yet the current job market has been incredibly difficult, and I’m struggling just to get interview calls.
This interview was one of the few opportunities I had, so receiving feedback that feels completely inconsistent with my experience has honestly left me feeling helpless. I’m starting to lose confidence in myself and wonder whether I’m missing something obvious or whether this is just the reality of technical interviews.
I’m not posting this to argue that I deserved an offer or to criticize the company. I fully accept that companies can decide not to hire me for any reason. I’m genuinely trying to understand:
Has anyone else received feedback that felt completely different from what actually happened in the interview?
Is it possible for interview notes to be inaccurate, or is there usually another explanation?
How do you stay motivated when you’re already dealing with multiple layoffs, very few interview opportunities, and experiences like this?