r/selfcare

Just some backstory. I’ve been walking a lot with my dog, we go about a back and forth around the 3km mark, most days. Recently though, my feet and calves have been hurting way more than they should be. is that normal? Not athletic enough maybe 😭. I was looking online at foot and calf massager combo because I read somewhere it helps a lot with soreness and recovery. I saw listings on Alibaba and the likes while casually browsing. Now I’m unsure whether to buy them or not, or if I’ll end up not using them regularly.

Do they help with “too sore”? Or are they more luxury? Are there any sales ongoing, should I look for axis brands that go on sale regularly? Looking for decent and able to relax, after my dog walk every day.

Hey guys jsut wanted to share my experience. I’m F29 and six months ago my 7 year old relationship ended. We’ve argued a lot towards the end and it was unbearable. It’s been long enough but until late my brain has been rehearsing different arguments with my ex in my head no matter where i was and it was so exhausting. I could be standing in a line for coffee or driving to work and I was mentally screaming at him, explaining why he was wrong. Rehearsing those badass mic drop lines I’ll never use. It was even rewarding at first but at the more it went the more it started feeling like I’m fixated. he’s not even there anymore but I’m keeping him there in my head just so I could win the argument with him. And trust me I’ve tried to stop thinking about it but this is a stupid advice, like telling somoene to stop breathing. My friends have been very supportive throughout but they seem tired of my vents and bringing the mood down even half a year later so I feel bad taking it out on them. I really don’t want to be this person that can’t shut up about their ex and kills the vibe every time.
What helped a bit and actually shined a light on the roots of this issue was the app that I stumbled upon completely by accident. It’s called copymind and has this nice feature called validation mirror. I stopped rerunning those imaginary fights in my head ans started writing them down instead and I got readings (reflection of my logic) that showed me a lot about where these patterns actually come from. The anger was not even at my ex. I was dealing with my own insecurities every time I fought him in my head because I was worried about so much wasted time and didn’t even know how to be a compelte person without him and start over.
It was helpful to write it down and now I at least know the root of the problem so I can remind myself every time I spiral. Has anyone else reflected on their own insecurities in similar situations?

I've been a bit low lately and I'm also due on my period in a few days, I get home in an hour and I'm craving some comfort. Preferably no TV/alcohol

**Thanks everyone for their amazing suggestions, I cleaned my kitchen, made some vegetables which always makes me feel better. Then I balanced that out and demolished 2 scones with jam and cream, then meditated to clear my mind and cuddled with my cats. I feel much better today and will definitely be revisiting this post for future days!

Edit: I guess I’m looking for tips or things that might of worked for you when you couldn’t really afford the things that once was your form of self care ☺️

Hi everyone, I’m in my mid 20s. When I was living with my parents I always bought my favourite makeup/beauty products once a month and I loved getting done up or trying new things. It was my version of self care & I loved it so much.

As I’ve got older, I don’t get my hair done in a salon, I never really get my eyebrows etc done as I happily do it at home myself.

Anyway, I’ve recently noticed with the cost of living even getting my makeup essentials has dwindled until absolutely necessary and I feel I don’t do much for myself beauty wise any more. I mean like a random trip for a blow dry, I don’t get my nails or eyebrows done, all simply because I can’t really afford it.

I see loads of other women get their facials or Botox, and I’d really love to do more for myself because I love those things. Does anyone have tips to budget towards those as a form of self care? I love getting out and doing those things for myself, just having some space and girl time but I don’t know how to take the next step 🥺

Any advice is welcome ❤️

At this point, self-care feels less about luxury and more about emotional survival, honestly.

Quieter evenings, warm showers, softer lighting, less screen time, slower routines, calming scents, and moments where the brain finally slows down a little.

Modern life feels mentally loud lately.

Not the one that looks good online. The one that still happens six months later on a random Tuesday when you're completely drained. The habits that last for me are usually the simplest ones. No overthinking. Sometimes it’s literally just taking a bath and calling it a day.

Genuinely curious what people come back to when everything feels exhausting. Not the perfect routine. Just the realistic one.

EDIT: honestly some of these replies feel more real than most self-care content online lol. Kinda nice reading routines people actually keep up with even on hard days.

First post here,

Haven't been taking care of myself as much as I can recently, and would appreciate some help on how to even get started on the world of self-care.

I go to therapy, I work, but I've been having issues with social life, and self doubt, I haven't been doing routines and keeping checks on myself recently.

This isn't so much of me asking for a fix all, but a good starting point. I understand this isn't the Saturday self-care thread so dm'ing links and resources would be greatly appreciated! Thank you to all who comment.

In the /hygge subreddit, this phrase was used. And it made me realize . . . I have no idea what soothes and restores me. I’ve been almost exclusively in survival mode for 55 years. How do I figure out what soothes and restores me? It’s ridiculous that I’m this clueless, but I really need help. Any thoughts?

I always had tendencies of avoiding my thoughts and I don’t even know when was the last time I heard myself think. It might be because of my demanding job as I’m an event planner working basically 12-13 hours a day and managing emergencies, so at the end of the day I either scroll tiktoks or watch some stupid netflix show to turn my brain off. But at some point I noticed the stress doesn’t go away and pops up at inconvenient times like waking you up in the middle of the night.
I tried some apps like daylio where I tracked my moods and it’s a good idea but I still didn’t really understand the roots of the stress and how to cope with it effectively. This other app copymind is what helped me see the actual roots of the issue because it has this ai twin thing that reflects what you said and helps you figure out what is consistently causing the stress. In my case it was mostly communication with the vendors that caused my spikes in stress rather than work itself because they’re usually very anxious and I take on this anxiety as my own.
It was an interesting insight for me because it feels like a lot of people nowadays just live on autopilot like I did and don’t stop to think about it. Thoughts?

I’ve been really depressed lately because of a breakup, my parents separating, and a lot going on at home. It’s been too much at once and I think I just shut down.

I’ve stopped taking care of myself properly. I haven’t washed my hair in maybe a week (it’s long and fully tangled now). I barely wash my face or do basic things anymore. I just feel gross and disconnected from myself.

I used to struggle with OCD and I was told by my therapist/psychiatrist to stop acting on the urges and compulsions. I tried to follow that, but I feel like it ended up turning into me just stopping everything instead of actually recovering. Like I went from “trying to manage OCD” to just not caring at all.

I keep looking at other girls and they just seem so beautiful and cute and put together, and I don’t understand what I’m doing with my life at this point.

I don’t really know how to get back into normal routines when everything feels heavy. I don’t feel like myself anymore and I don’t know where to start again. If anyone has gone through something like this, how did you slowly rebuild basic self-care?

Hey everyone, I(22f) am in need of some big sister advice.
I’m extremely high strung, anxious and I constantly have so much tension in my body that it’s actually making my life difficult. I had an extremely traumatic childhood and past so I am in therapy.

I’m just wondering ways that I can reduce stress and turn my brain off a little bit, allow my immune system and nervous system to recover. I feel like my stress is genuinely killing me. Any advice would be sooo helpful.

I swear I went to bed with normal skin and woke up a few months later looking like all the moisture was permanently drained from my face. the hormonal drop is just brutal and im so frustrated with how much money ive wasted recently trying to fix the sudden dryness.

and don't even get me started on the skincare industry right now. every time i look for something to help, these companies want $180 for a 1oz bottle of "clinical" serum that just feels like sticky water anyway. it’s genuinely insulting how they upcharge women over 40 just because we're trying not to look completely exhausted. the prices are just totally out of control for what you actually get

Im officially done with the complicated routines and overpriced tiny bottles tbh. lately when my face feels tight I just grab a Lululun from the fridge. I keep a bulk pack of some anti aging face mask things I ordered and just slap one on while watching tv in the evening. the Lululun ones are just easy and don't cost a car payment

it doesnt miraculously reverse gravity or whatever but at least my skin doesn't physically hurt from being so parched by 3pm anymore. im just too tired to care about the luxury skincare hype at this point, sometimes you just need basic hydration without taking out a loan.

for context, i’ve been on birth control for PMDD for more than a year now and usually everything is great.

however, it’s placebo week. and today has been the hardest out all « luteal » phases with birth control.

i hate looking at my reflection, my makeup never comes out right, i’m exhausted, my whole body is puffy, i’ve been crying all day and it’s only 3pm here + i’m an anxious mess. needless to say, not good.

i am literally laying in bed on my day off and crying with the washing machine noise in the background.

what can i do to try and take care of me and be more compassionate with myself today? any tips is needed, thank you so much!

Whats everyone do for self care sunday to reset for the week? I work from home and was thi king of a bath and book. Then im not sure. Maybe crafting some trash tv. Im not sure.

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For a long time I genuinely thought I was lazy. I’d make plans to fix my life, read more, focus more, stop procrastinating, sleep earlier… and then somehow still spend hours scrolling every night.

Not even because it was fun anymore. Just automatic.

I used to think the problem was discipline or motivation. But the more I paid attention, the more I realized my brain was constantly chasing tiny dopamine hits all day.

Checking my phone for “one second.”

Opening apps without thinking.

Watching short videos while eating.

Switching tabs every 2 minutes.

Playing background noise just to avoid silence.

None of it felt extreme in the moment. But by the time I actually needed to focus, my brain

already felt exhausted.

What changed things wasn’t suddenly becoming more disciplined. It was realizing how

overstimulated I was before I even started doing anything meaningful.

A few things that genuinely helped:

● I stopped starting my mornings with social media.

● I deleted TikTok/Instagram instead of pretending I would “use them less.”

● I made distractions slightly harder to reach. Opal helped a lot because even a little

friction breaks the automatic scrolling loop.

● I also started learning more about the actual mechanisms behind focus, attention, and

dopamine. Deep Work completely changed how I think about distraction and fragmented

attention, while Dopamine Nation helped me better understand overstimulation,

dopamine loops, and why normal life can start feeling “boring” after constant scrolling.

● Honestly the thing that helped me MOST was replacing visual scrolling with more

screen-free/audio learning instead. I use BeFreed to replace doom scrolling. It turns

books, psychology, history, biographies, basically anything I’m obsessed with into

podcast-style lessons, and you can customize the voice/style too. I also love the

personalized learning plans because they make learning feel more structured instead of

random content consumption.

● I stopped caring so much about motivation and focused more on reducing friction.

Nothing here magically transformed my life overnight. But things started feeling quieter. And when things felt quieter, I could actually follow through more often.

I still slip sometimes. I still waste time online sometimes. But I don’t beat myself up the way I used to.

If you constantly feel like you’re “working on yourself” but never actually moving forward, it might not be laziness.

Your brain might just be overstimulated before you even begin.

I'm going 30 days without tv/books/videos/livestreams/music/video games etc to see what happens when I create more space to listen to myself.

Here's the latest update :)

Day 7+8

You probably won’t believe this, but I’ve realized something totally transformative.

Rest is important.

Groundbreaking I know… but I felt that sink in on such a different way on day 8. After a super peaceful day 7 where I went on a relaxing walk, worked and played piano, I slept poorly.

This led to the strongest desire yet to just slam easy dopamine into my face.

I was down so bad I found myself wanting to scroll gifs when replying to a friend’s message.

But I didn’t, and instead found some comfort from lying down then doing yoga.

What’s interesting is that partway through, my inner world shifted, and I was motivated to work again. It showed me that when we find comfort through activities that don't suck us in, it becomes a lot easier to continue to move towards what you actually want to be doing in life.

Day 9+10

In the past two days I noticed a couple interesting changes. 

One was a heightened sensitivity to other forms of comfort.

When dealing with life's inevitable difficult emotions I found that physical touch, food, and even smell have been important ways for me to relax and find comfort. One of the days I lit a stick of incense and sat down next to it to enjoy the smell as a way to slow down.

Second was how much easier it is for me to move towards my hobbies.

Last year I rescued a perfectly fine guitar someone was throwing out and then proceeded to almost never play it. In the last few days I've been just picking it up multiple times during the day to practice a few chords.

I’ve also been playing piano a lot more too and finally finished learning a song I'd been working on for ages. Working on my hobbies has become the new version of picking up my phone when I'm bored (although that still happens out of habit).

Haven't brought either into the bathroom yet though xD

Well, that's it for my quick little update, so let me check in with you.

How much have you been listening to yourself recently?

And how could you listen just 5% more?

See you in the next one!

Cheers,
Luke

Positive ways my life has changed after quitting social media for 3 months

I (28F) deleted TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter about 3 months ago after realizing I was spending hours scrolling every single day. What I originally told myself was going to be a short “dopamine detox” somehow turned into me barely wanting social media anymore. Here are some positive things I’ve noticed in the last few months.

I stopped consuming negativity from the second I woke up. No more doomscrolling headlines, ragebait, arguments, or random strangers fighting online before breakfast.

My attention span got noticeably better. I can actually sit through movies and longer videos now without checking my phone every 3 minutes. I also started reading again. Deep Work and Dopamine Nation genuinely changed how I think about focus and stimulation.

I also realized the issue wasn’t just social media itself. My brain had basically been trained to constantly look for tiny dopamine hits. If I removed one distraction, I’d instantly replace it with another. So instead of fighting that nonstop, I started redirecting it into healthier things.

A few resources/tools that genuinely helped:
The Anxious Generation - probably the book that finally made me take phone addiction seriously
Finch - weirdly motivated me to build tiny habits because I didn’t want to disappoint my bird lol
BeFreed - became my replacement for scrolling. I love that it turns books, psychology, biographies, history, basically anything into podcast-style lessons. You can even customize the voice and narration style, so some lessons feel more like entertaining conversations than studying
Opal - made doomscrolling harder because it adds friction before opening apps
Project Gutenberg - huge free ebook library that helped me get back into reading again
I’m also way more present now. Conversations feel calmer. Music sounds better. I can eat meals without immediately grabbing my phone. I enjoy boring moments again instead of constantly needing stimulation.

The biggest realization honestly was this:
Most of us are not “lazy.” We’re just overstimulated all the time.

When your brain is constantly trained on 15-second dopamine loops, normal life starts feeling unbearably slow.

Quitting social media didn’t magically fix my life. But it made my brain feel quieter. And that alone changed a lot

apps for journaling

I don't have any problem writing on a book in fact I want to but there's no privacy

I tried using notes apps while hiding and locking but due tht process I keep forgetting about it

Honestly, self-care doesn’t even feel luxurious anymore.

It feels necessary.

Like trying to protect your mental energy before burnout hits completely.

Better sleep, warm showers, quiet routines, less scrolling, softer evenings, calmer spaces… those things matter way more now than fancy routines, honestly.