u/Dreamgirl_66

I (28 F) have been living in Mumbai for 5 years now, alone for past 3 years in a studio apartment.

SOME BACKSTORY:
My parents always had a bad marriage (mom has suffered physical, verbal abu*e etc etc - but she never wanted to take a step). I have a younger sibling (24 F) and we both have only tried our best all the past few years to get out our house asap and work hard enough to be able to cut off our dad completely coz we were dependent on him for money growing up obviously.

My sister just started her career with a WFH job, and she decided to keep hopping and visiting friends/family for few weeks each so that her time passes and she isn’t stuck in the same house with my dad throughout. (She cant afford to live completely by herself in another city rn).

CURRENT STORY:
She came to visit me in December 2025 for a few weeks but then something happened with her and dad over the phone and she was scared to go back so I told her to stay back with me until situation settles.

Then she started perpetually staying with me. Note that we are very different in nature and our approach towards things, so there are a lot of unnecessary arguments sometimes on the smallest things. Earlier she said she was gonna move to her work city as the company will provide an arrangement but now she is not going.

It’s taken a toll on my mental health because I dont get any privacy at all whatsoever. The BIGGEST issue is hers is a nightshift so as soon as I go home from work, her calls/meetings start and I have to maintain complete silence! And this goes on until 3-4 am in the morning which disturbs my initial 2-3hrs of sleep. Mentioning again that it’s a 1RK - a single small room + small kitchen and bathroom. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep irritated with all this. All of this suddenly happened and I didnt have a time to prepare myself mentally.

Fed up of all this, I told my mom to speak to her from her side and tell her to look for an alternative soon in gentle way. But my mom told her bluntly that I didnt wanna live with her. That spoilt a lot of things for us, coz my sister then blamed me for everything.

She said a lot of things including that I have never taken any responsiblity as a daughter or a sister. Not only this, she went behind my back to call me a sl*t for trying to move on from a decade-long relationship because the guy kept cheating on me, and there was no respect left in the relationship, but he still told her that he is sorry, he loves me and wants me back. So I am a sl*t if I refuse him and move on.

For reference, she always keeps comparing me with ither elder siblings of her friends, and keeps a close eye on my lifestyle to be able to judge my finances. Plus, she always likes to wash dirty laundry in public.

My mother knows of this behaviour of hers but she doesnt tell anything coz she has anger issues and she just looks for opportunities to play the victim. She will stop eating food, medicines, and then would go on and tell her friends how we are villains in her life.

My therapist also had warned me about this situation when she had started extending her stay but being the emotional person I am, I told her I will adjust with my sister but now what she said is coming true.

My mom is currently visiting us and it’s driving me crazierr. She is now telling me that she will also have to live with me only because she doesnt have any space to go. My sister denied her the solution of moving to a smaller aquainted city where cost of living is less (and I would support with money), because she wants to live her life now.

I am losing my mind more and more every day. I want her to move out as soon as possible but I have seen her crying over this situation because she doesnt earn enough to pay rent and stay fully by self even in a shared space.

I am stuck between this feeling of guilt and protecting my mental health. Some moments I feel so guilty for doing this to her and I have thought about it keeping roles reversed, and I feel I am the worst person (I never thought I could be like this). But when I am in that space I am unable to live. I want to run away.

Plus those words that she used for me are now stuck with me forever and I dont think I will be able to have that bond with her the same away ever. It has changed everything for me.

Please help.

TLDR: Parents are unofficially separated, sister came to visit and is now perpetually living with me in my very small apartment and the inasion of space is ruuining my mental health. I tried to tell her but things got ruined and I feel like I lost my sister. She bad-mouthed with all the poison she had against me. Stuck in never-ending loop.

I (28 F) have been living in Mumbai for 5 years now – first 2 years with roommates (which was a nightmare), alone for past 3 years in a studio apartment.

SOME BACKSTORY:
My parents always had a bad marriage (mom has suffered physical, verbal abu*e etc etc). I have a younger sibling (24 F) and we both have only tried our best all the past few years to get out our house asap and work hard enough to be able to cut off our dad completely coz we were dependent on him for money growing up obviously. We were honestly done with our mom bcoz she never wanted to take a step for herself, or anything against dad. (We feel if she would have taken a step in time when everybody kept supporting her, we wouldn’t have ended up in this situation). Last couple of years before I just moved out had been a living hell, and my father is still becoming worse each passing day.

My sister had moved out before me to another metro city but during Covid she got a healthe issue, a backpain problem (which is still untreated), so she had to go back to my hometown. But my dad made her each passing day worse so she decided to stay in a different city, got a temporary job, while still looking for a better job that would also support her health. She left that temporary job and had to go back home again. Finally, got a start to her career with a good profile, WFH job, and she decided to keep hopping and visiting friends/family around for few weeks so that her time passes and she isn’t stuck in the same house with my dad throuhgout. (This is practically her first proper-paying job so she cant afford to live completely by herself in another city).

CURRENT STORY:
She came to visit me in December 2025 for a few weeks but then something happened with her and dad over the phone and she was scared to go back so I told her to stay back with me until situation settles.

Now the thing is that she is perpetually staying with me. It’s like now she is living with me. For reference, she and I are very different in nature and our approach towards things, so there are a lot of unnecessary arguments sometimes on the smallest things. Earlier she said she was gonna move to her work city as the company will provide an arrangement but now she is not going.

It’s taken a toll on my mental health because I dont get any privacy at all whatsoever. The BIGGEST issue is hers is a nightshift so as soon as I go home from work, her calls/meetings start and I have to maintain silence - cant speak on the phone, I cant play speaker, nothing! And this goes on until 3-4 am in the morning which disturbs my initial 2-3hrs of sleep. Mentioning again that it’s a 1RK - a single small room + small kitchen and bathroom. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep irritated with all this.

Fed up of all this, I told my mom to speak to her from her side and tell her to look for an alternative soon in gentle way. But my mom told her bluntly that I didnt wanna live with her. That spoilt a lot of things for us, coz my sister then blamed me for everything.

She said a lot of things including that I have never taken any responsiblity as a daughter or a sister. Not only this, she went behind my back to call me a sl*t for trying to move on from a decade-long relationship because the guy kept cheating on me, and there was no respect left in the relationship, but he still told her that he is sorry, he loves me and wants me back. So I am a sl*t if I refuse him and move on.

For reference, she always has compared me with her friends’ elder siblings who dont live in expensive cities like Mumbai and spoil their younger ones. And just because she was staying with mom throughout which was actually because she couldnt find a job, and I moved out for job, she feels she is the one and only person who stood up for mom and supported her and I, in her words, “am doing aish here”. She also feels that I earn more than I tell her and I willingly dont give her any money. She always tried to know how much pocket money also i got and tried to compare it always. When she couldnt find a job she was expecting me to take her full responsibility even though I had just started my career and folks who have left their houses to make a life in bigger cities would know how hard it is. She would always keep an eye out on every small thing I buy and keep a count of how many times I ate outside and then would go on behind my back to say ki “where does all her money go, she enjoys her life so much.” She always kept saying about my relationship also that how I have someone but she doesn’t. Plus, she always likes to wash dirty laundry in public.

My mother knows of this behaviour of hers but she doesnt tell anything coz she has anger issues and she just looks for opportunities to play the victim. She will stop eating food, medicines, and then would go on and tell her friends how we are villains in her life.

My therapist also had warned me about this situation when she had started extending her stay but being the emotional person I am, I told her I will adjust with my sister but now what she said is coming true.

My mom is currently visiting us and it’s driving me crazierr. She is now telling me that she will also have to live with me only because she doesnt have any space to go. My sister denied her the solution of moving to a smaller aquainted city where cost of living is less (and I would support with money), because she wants to live her life now.

It’s also that all of this suddenly happened and I didnt have a time to prepare myself mentally. I am losing my mind more and more every day. I want her to move out as soon as possible but I have seen her crying over this situation because she doesnt earn enough to pay rent and stay fully by self even in a shared space.

I am stuck between this feeling of guilt and protecting my mental health. Some moments I feel so guilty for doing this to her and I have thought about it keeping roles reversed, and I feel I am the worst person (I never thought I could be like this). But when I am in that space I am unable to live. I want to run away.

Plus those words that she used for me are now stuck with me forever and I dont think I will be able to have that bond with her the same away ever. It has changed everything for me.

Please HELP