A lot of it was just me trying to get used to the rhythm of the song but honestly trying to record a clean run through was like hell on earth and this run wasn’t even clean nor was it the full song but I did it I guess. I’m happy though as a beginner beginner guitar player(I’m still pretty beginner) I never imagined being able to place this and now I’m not quite there but I’m making good strides so I’m happy. Song name is: Leaving home by John Wheeler
Not a huge difference it’s mostly just stubble right now but it does make a difference. Also I don’t know if this is just how my facial hair grows on my chin but I feel that one side is growing more hair than the other and since I started doing this it was from a full clean shave so idk why they a growing differently but I’m not that worried.
Main thing: (So I feel like I’ve been too clingy towards this girl I’ve been talking too and feel to be more than friends with with. Mainly because we have been having very long calls together like the longest because we fell asleep and woke up on call together(which was cute)and texting a lot. And I feel bad because I do a lot of the yapping at times not always but I strongly feel that I’ve been sucking up this girls time/energy away and we aren’t even official.i also feel like I feel like I’ve been rushing things between us.) Any advice is much appreciated I explain in much more detail below:
[So this all started when post her hanging with friends asked to call and said we needed to talk which ended up her saying that she heard from someone in our group that I had a crush on her even whilst us being friends. But Im not the type to go around the bushes with something like that so I was upfront and honest with her.
So I told her that It was true that I had a crush on her but I never revealed it to her because I was unsure at times and felt like maybe she wouldn’t like me back and also I’ve never been in a relationship and I tried asking 2 other people out in the past but got rejected. But from those rejections made me ask myself if I even am ready for a relationship anyways in terms of my maturity both as a person and emotionally and if I was ready to take on all of what a relationship came with. Even more so I questioned if I would even be enough for anyone in general so I didn’t wanna risk anything is why I kept it to myself but while we were just friends I did think of her a good amount.
Surprisingly enough, she too had a crush on me. She mentioned how it came about after she got broken up with my best friend(Shocker I know). And at our college we all go too the place where students typically congregate and relax more specifically our main friend group, kinda then stopped interacting with her not in a weird bullying manner but mainly because we lost reason too. We didn’t know her for long and I actually thought she didn’t like me that much.
We only really knew her through our friend and vice versa. And one day in that same student space it was pretty empty but she was there sitting by herself and I felt bad because she never did me or anyone else any wrong so I went to go talk with her and I repeated this a couple times maybe every other day I would go up to her to talk. And from this is where she started developing a crush on me but she never really told me because it wasn’t like a huge crush and also she was unsure because of my sexuality since I am bi sexual but I mostly am into guys so, from this she never thought to tell me until she heard from someone in our friend group that I liked her.
So at first I was really taken aback I originally thought she wanted to talk about drama or something else the last thing was finding out I had a crush on her. And although I told her and was honest I was kinda unsure and just taken aback from everything. I explained my attraction to her and she did the same for me but like I said before I’m still growing as a person physically and mentally, learning more about myself and I wasent so sure I knew myself entirely for a relationship yet.
So I told her this “why not just keep this between us and leave it in the air for a bit not as if it didn’t happen but if something comes from it then we can move on that and if not then not. And she was like yeah that works and we chatted for like another 2 hours about our days and stuff and it was all good fun. At the end of our call I let her know I would take time to think on what we talked about she said she would do the same and we both had fun talking to each other and ended it for the night.
Well literally the next day, I was thinking to myself it this morning as something I really wanted to get into and I was kinda scared and I talked to a friend unrelated to our main friend group about it and he said something like this. “Well man being scared is normal but you can’t be scared of everything forever or else you’re gonna keep being scared. You never know how you’ll change and grow from this if you don’t put yourself in an uncomfortable situation every once in a while. And you do like her so why not?” This made sense and he was right and after some more thinking I started liking the idea more and more especially since I do really like her. She’s a sweet,creative,strong, and beautiful girl for sure it wouldn’t be bad to give it a try. SO later in the day we called and we just chatted normally for a bit and aiming more towards the end of our call I told her(in the most nervous and awkward way possible) that I wouldn’t be opposed to exploring with her and be a little bit more than friends. To which she responded that she wouldn’t be opposed either. she joked at how nervous I was lol and said before I brought it up she was also thinking about it as well. After, we chatted a bit more and ended our calls cause it got late.
I’d like to add how funny this all is because very recently before the girl I’m talking about brought everything up I started crying one night because of how lonely and sad i was a lot came from my family being really distant and not affectionate recently and also me feeling like I would never get into a relationship like I believe in the idea there is someone out there for everyone but it felt like that would never come this hit me so hard I had to call one of my friends up at 3:00 or so because I needed someone to vent to and I was like genuinely breaking down so now to see where I’m at is surprising.
Anyways, that pretty sums up how this all came too be. all this spanned across about a week or two
and more recently, we’ve been on call together for hours and hours which I enjoy and she tells me she does too. we mostly just talk about our day,flirt, and gossip and things have been going pretty well but the problem is that I feel like a leech a little bit like when we do call like I said it’s for hours and I’ll ask her if it’s okay that she’s staying up this late and she like “yeah it’s fine I’m an adult I can choose when I go to bed” which is true and I agree but I feel like a bad influence💀.
Like even in total one day we deadass were on all for 12 hours because we fell asleep and woke up together on call and, have been like before bed been betting who falls asleep first which then leads into us trying to stay up longer and then she would be waking later than when she usually does I have also been feeling the need to text her or call her like all the time and I try tell myself that yeah we have been talking a lot so maybe I’ll just talk to her later or something but end up messaging her in some way anyways. And today I saw her a we talked and everything was fine actually we did have a really nice and fun moment because her and her dad drove me home because there was this big storm by where we live and I had no ride and we sat together and hugged. But like I went in there today hoping for something like some lovey dovey moment and at the same time like we’ve been friends for a while but we only really started mutually like liking each other very recently and I’m feeling like this I just feel like I’m annoying or am going to be annoying because of how clingy I’ve been being and not just quite but almost getting to the point of rushing things. Cause it’s not like either of us have mutually agreed to dating fr this is still a private thing between us two which at best is us as more than friends. But I don’t think she would say we’re boyfriend and girlfriend just yet.] So some advice for that would really help before end up rushing things.