u/DriveLess4621

Seeking Christian marriage advice. I’m a 23F stay at home mom, married to 26M. We have a 16-month-old and I’m 38 weeks pregnant with our second. My mom is dying of brain cancer and I feel like my marriage is falling apart. Financially, I feel stuck.

Before we got married, I confronted him about his online habits and even called off our wedding because of it. Six months after having our first baby, we went through with the marriage. Lately I feel like I’m just collecting evidence of everything that hurts and building resentment.

He works very hard physically 4 days a week and is exhausted. But I am mentally exhausted being the “manager” of the house and having to tell him how to do everything. If I don’t say it, it doesn’t get done. I assigned him trash day, bath, and bedtime for our toddler. I do everything else including bills and scheduling appointments. Dishes sit unless I ask. He’ll do what I say, but only if I say it, and he still asks where things are or how to do them. I feel like I’m parenting him.

We haven’t been intimate since February/March. I’ve told him I miss him and want that connection, but he says it feels wrong while I’m this pregnant and claims low testosterone and no interest. I’ve gained more weight this pregnancy, but normally I’m thin (5’8.5, 125). Yesterday I found a lot of explicit videos in his history from late nights when I go to sleep early.

I try so hard to be a good wife. I cook, clean, keep the home nice, encourage church, and I end up being the spiritual leader too. I say the prayer every night with our toddler. I’ve asked him to lead prayer and he refuses, saying prayer should be private. Our home feels spiritually lifeless. He spends hours on Twitter arguing apologetics with strangers and listening to debates, but pours no spiritual energy into his own home.

He’s emotionally distant. I rarely get compliments. I have to beg for a massage when I’m in pain. It feels like he hates serving me. When I look at him now all I see is those videos in my head. I confronted him a month ago because I had a feeling something was off and he told me he doesn’t look at that stuff anymore. The dates in the history show it was happening days after that conversation. He lied straight to my face.

My mom recently had seizures in a church bathroom and I was panicking, calling for him. When he got there he just stood there. No comfort, no reassurance. Later leaving the ER he was irritated because he wanted to go vape. In a moment I needed him to be strong for me, he wasn’t.

He isn’t mean. He has no temper. He’s great playing with our toddler. He lets me buy what I want. He’s kind to people. He believes in Jesus. But I feel completely alone in this marriage.

I’m starting to wonder if it would be easier to be a single mom and raise my kids in a peaceful, faith-filled home without feeling constantly hurt and resentful. The original goal was for me to stay home and homeschool our children. Now I feel so unhappy that even my faith feels drained.

After finding the history again, I feel like giving up and thinking about divorce. The only thing that would allow me to leave financially is the life insurance I’ll receive when my mom passes (50–60k), which is heartbreaking to even think about.

Is there any hope for this marriage?

I’m a 23F stay at home mom, married to 26M. We have a 16-month-old and I’m 38 weeks pregnant with our second. My mom is dying of brain cancer and I feel like my marriage is falling apart. Financially, I feel stuck.

Before we got married, I confronted him about his online habits and even called off our wedding because of it. Six months after having our first baby, we went through with the marriage. Lately I feel like I’m just collecting evidence of everything that hurts and building resentment.

He works very hard physically 4 days a week and is exhausted. But I am mentally exhausted being the “manager” of the house and having to tell him how to do everything. If I don’t say it, it doesn’t get done. I assigned him trash day, bath, and bedtime for our toddler. I do everything else including bills and scheduling appointments. Dishes sit unless I ask. He’ll do what I say, but only if I say it, and he still asks where things are or how to do them. I feel like I’m parenting him.

We haven’t been intimate since February/March. I’ve told him I miss him and want that connection, but he says it feels wrong while I’m this pregnant and claims low testosterone and no interest. I’ve gained more weight this pregnancy, but normally I’m thin (5’8.5, 125). Yesterday I found a lot of explicit videos in his history from late nights when I go to sleep early.

I try so hard to be a good wife. I cook, clean, keep the home nice, encourage church, and I end up being the spiritual leader too. I say the prayer every night with our toddler. I’ve asked him to lead prayer and he refuses, saying prayer should be private. Our home feels spiritually lifeless. He spends hours on Twitter arguing apologetics with strangers and listening to debates, but pours no spiritual energy into his own home.

He’s emotionally distant. I rarely get compliments. I have to beg for a massage when I’m in pain. It feels like he hates serving me. When I look at him now all I see is those videos in my head. I confronted him a month ago because I had a feeling something was off and he told me he doesn’t look at that stuff anymore. The dates in the history show it was happening days after that conversation. He lied straight to my face.

My mom recently had seizures in a church bathroom and I was panicking, calling for him. When he got there he just stood there. No comfort, no reassurance. Later leaving the ER he was irritated because he wanted to go vape. In a moment I needed him to be strong for me, he wasn’t.

He isn’t mean. He has no temper. He’s great playing with our toddler. He lets me buy what I want. He’s kind to people. He believes in Jesus. But I feel completely alone in this marriage.

I’m starting to wonder if it would be easier to be a single mom and raise my kids in a peaceful, faith-filled home without feeling constantly hurt and resentful. The original goal was for me to stay home and homeschool our children. Now I feel so unhappy that even my faith feels drained.

After finding the history again, I feel like giving up and thinking about divorce. The only thing that would allow me to leave financially is the life insurance I’ll receive when my mom passes (50–60k), which is heartbreaking to even think about.

tl;dr Is there any hope for this marriage? Advice requested

I’m a 23F stay at home mom, married to 26M. We have a 16-month-old and I’m 38 weeks pregnant with our second. My mom is dying of brain cancer and I feel like my marriage is falling apart. Financially, I feel stuck.

Before we got married, I confronted him about his online habits and even called off our wedding because of it. Six months after having our first baby, we went through with the marriage. Lately I feel like I’m just collecting evidence of everything that hurts and building resentment.

He works very hard physically 4 days a week and is exhausted. But I am mentally exhausted being the “manager” of the house and having to tell him how to do everything. If I don’t say it, it doesn’t get done. I assigned him trash day, bath, and bedtime for our toddler. I do everything else including bills and scheduling appointments. Dishes sit unless I ask. He’ll do what I say, but only if I say it, and he still asks where things are or how to do them. I feel like I’m parenting him.

We haven’t been intimate since February/March. I’ve told him I miss him and want that connection, but he says it feels wrong while I’m this pregnant and claims low testosterone and no interest. I’ve gained more weight this pregnancy, but normally I’m thin (5’8.5, 125). Yesterday I found a lot of explicit videos in his history from late nights when I go to sleep early.

I try so hard to be a good wife. I cook, clean, keep the home nice, encourage church, and I end up being the spiritual leader too. I say the prayer every night with our toddler. I’ve asked him to lead prayer and he refuses, saying prayer should be private. Our home feels spiritually lifeless. He spends hours on Twitter arguing apologetics with strangers and listening to debates, but pours no spiritual energy into his own home.

He’s emotionally distant. I rarely get compliments. I have to beg for a massage when I’m in pain. It feels like he hates serving me. When I look at him now all I see is those videos in my head. I confronted him a month ago because I had a feeling something was off and he told me he doesn’t look at that stuff anymore. The dates in the history show it was happening days after that conversation. He lied straight to my face.

My mom recently had seizures in a church bathroom and I was panicking, calling for him. When he got there he just stood there. No comfort, no reassurance. Later leaving the ER he was irritated because he wanted to go vape. In a moment I needed him to be strong for me, he wasn’t.

He isn’t mean. He has no temper. He’s great playing with our toddler. He lets me buy what I want. He’s kind to people. He believes in Jesus. But I feel completely alone in this marriage.

I’m starting to wonder if it would be easier to be a single mom and raise my kids in a peaceful, faith-filled home without feeling constantly hurt and resentful. The original goal was for me to stay home and homeschool our children. Now I feel so unhappy that even my faith feels drained.

After finding the history again, I feel like giving up and thinking about divorce. The only thing that would allow me to leave financially is the life insurance I’ll receive when my mom passes (50–60k), which is heartbreaking to even think about.

Is there any hope for this marriage?