u/Drivefast58

To put this question in context, I have a seven-year-old blonde-haired blue-eyed girl that gets lots of attention wherever she goes. I could watch over and protect her while she was a baby, but as she gets older, and she pushes for more independence, I can feel the fear and tension in my heart start to grow.

If something terrible were to happen to her, I think I would break apart at a sub-atomic level.

I pray without ceasing for God to protect my family, not just my girl, but my wife and other children as well. I desperately cling to the promises in the Bible that God watches over and establishes His children.

But in the back of my head, there's always this insidious voice whispering to me that these prayers are a fool's hope. After all, other Christians endure much suffering and heartache, so why should I be any different? Am I selfish for praying for safety and security when other people have their lives torn apart by random violence and tragedy? Have my prayers up to this point meant anything, or is it just random chance that God has sustained us this far?

It's hard to answer these questions in light of a reformed understanding of God's sovereignty, because I must confess that anything that happens, even the most terrible, falls within that sovereignty.

I'm sure I'm not the only one to wrestle with this tension. Have any of you come close to getting the upper hand on it?

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u/Drivefast58 — 19 days ago

Me and my wife seem to have a habit of picking churches on the cusp of massive growth. We'll attend a church for 5-7 years, watch it grow to almost double its size, and then I get antsy.

My wife prefers huge churches we can get lost in. I prefer smaller churches with no place to hide. Which leaves me feeling very disillusioned as a church starts pushing the 600+ member size.

This creates some tension between us.

And now I'm wondering, is it wrong of me to feel such a strong aversion to bigger churches?

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u/Drivefast58 — 27 days ago