u/Dry-Chard-9980

Hi reddit, I want entirely what to title this because there's a lot that is contributing to my situation, but here goes.

I dated my partner (who was also my first everything) for just under 2 years, and we lived together for over a year of that. About 2 months ago we broke up due to an incompatibility in communication an emotional support needs (he shut down in any issues or struggles and I needed to talk through issues straight away). However, we stayed friends (sort of fwb but it's weird) since we had a lot of the same hobbies etc and I was also not working at the time and couldn't afford to move out.

Where we're at now, I'm working part time and studying full time (while having adhd and autism) and I also end up dealing with any cleaning and taking care of our cats (we live in his parents house so it's not a whole house of cleaning but still). He works as a roofing apprentice and frequently works over 40hrs a week and is understandably tired, but I guess I'm struggling with having this person here that I used to be extremely close with, but now it's undefined, and I have an EXTREME need for physical touch/comfort or whatever you might call it. He is the first person I've felt 100% safe with after growing up in a really shitty household to say the least, so I've been sort of holding on to that, idk.

I feel anxious often because he is very quiet and withdrawn recently, but I can't exactly pressure him for an explanation, and that isn't really my place anymore anyway. Often all I want is to just snuggle and watch a TV show or something with him, which we have done since we 'broke up' but recently the amount of physical touch has felt almost nonexistent.

Am I reaching for something that's just not there anymore? And what can I do to help myself actually move on other than saving money to find my own place? Sometimes it genuinely gets to the point that I get overwhelmed and start crying because I just need a long hug from someone, but the other part of me feels so childish for needing that.

Hopefully this post isn't toooo messy, but I just had to get my thoughts out about this and hopefully get some advice (clarifying questions are welcome and I'll probably reply a lot).

Ok so I (18yo) was diagnosed with autism and adhd over a year ago, and I've found that sometimes I struggle with even the concept of eating food at all. Like I have my safe foods that I regularly eat for about a month or so at a time, then I get sick of literally everything because the texture and complexity of solid foods is just... bad in my mind. I'm really trying to figure out how to get through that, especially because I have a part time job and really need enough energy to get through that. The only thing I've come up with so far is drinking protein Up&Go's which have a bunch of extra shit in them like Fibre and protein and other vitamins.

Overall, I know I need energy to function and that you get that by consuming things, but there is such a huge mental block in my head and I'm frustrated that I don't know how to get around it. Any advice appreciated.