u/Dry-Explorer2970

I’m a bit desperate right now. My cat, Tigs, is a 5-6 year old orange tabby. We adopted him from a shelter roughly 4 years ago, and he’s been healthy ever since, aside from one bout of fleas (the shelter claimed he was flea-free, but he definitely wasn’t) and the cat eye herpes that makes his eyes drippy sometimes. He usually eats a combination of a cheap dry food like Friskies gravy swirl and Iams urinary care (I had a male cat who had bladder stones). Sometimes we give him fancy feast gravy wet food.

Right now, he is curled up hiding in a cabinet in our kitchen. He’s rapidly lost weight the last couple days, and he’s very weak and frail. He does still eat and drink, but he refuses chicken, which he’s never done before. He’s what we call a “trash cat,” as he will literally tear into bags to get to whatever food he wants, so this is NOT normal for him. He’s usually energetic and clingy, but he’s not acting like normal at all.

The obvious answer would be to take him to the vet, but we have literally $20 right now. I’ve called several resources in the area, and they’ve been no help. We don’t qualify for care credit or any credit cards. We had a very significant financial shift that’s left us broke. Is there anything to do aside from surrendering him so they can give him proper vet care?

I’m freaking out a bit. Please no hate, when I adopted my pets, I had enough resources to care for them, pay for pet insurance, regular preventative care, etc. But things have changed a lot in the past couple years.

My ginger kitty is currently hiding in our kitchen cabinets. He’s gotten skinnier, but he still eats and drinks. Today though, he’s looking really frail. I’m not sure what’s going on, but when I look at him, he looks so much older and weaker. He’s only 5-6 years old. He’s never had any other issues before, aside from one bout of fleas when we first adopted him and a drippy eye (it’s the on and off eye herpes cats get). He is up to date on his vaccines thanks to the free vaccine clinic we went to that happens like twice a year.

I just don’t know what to do. We don’t qualify for care credit, and we have no money right now. Is there anything I can do for him? I feel like a horrible person right now not being able to help my poor baby. I’m afraid if we surrendered him, it would a) be significant trauma (he didn’t open up to us until we’d had him for 2 YEARS, and he had been abandoned before) and b) he’d just be put down.

(Btw I am not asking for money whatsoever. I genuinely just want advice on what to do. I’ve never been in this position before).

I (25F) have a daughter (20 mo F) with my boyfriend (30M) or 5 years. For the most part, we work really well as a team. He’s very involved with her, stayed home for the last year and a half or so with her as a SAHD, did all the night shifts with her as a baby, etc.

We decided to take a road trip to my parent’s state to pick up something for me (medical). His family lives about 6-7 hrs from that state, so we decided to head there once we leave the first state. We figured we would leave late at night to head to my parent since our daughter typically sleeps on car rides when she’s tired. That was our first mistake. She was awake pretty much the entire 12 hour drive, and she was PISSED. Because of this, I didn’t sleep while he drove, so we all arrived exhausted.

Under the assumption that she and I would actually be sleeping during the drive, I had said I’d take over with her the day we get there so he could rest. Well, that didn’t go over well because we were both running on fumes. I also have a condition that requires me to get full nights of good sleep, otherwise I’m in significant amounts of pain the next several days.

So we get to the first state, we’re all exhausted, and our toddler refuses to nap. Finally, that night, we all go to bed, and toddler goes down easily. Middle of the night, she wakes up SCREAMING. I’m talking a blood-curdling scream I have never heard in my life. She was thrashing around, screaming, almost hyperventilating, and NOTHING we did calmed her down. Well, turns out it’s likely her first ever NIGHT TERROR due to the lack of sleep and all that. After that, we all got very broken, crappy sleep. The next night, she wakes up crying (not a night terror), so we bring her in bed with us again. This time, she sleeps fine, but I am awake absolutely terrified out of my mind that she’s gonna wake up screaming again.

The next morning, we’re both just absolutely messes and arguing over the dumbest crap ever. I typically have a high threshold for his passive aggressiveness (he doesn’t realize he’s being passive aggressive— he has adhd and untreated trauma, and I am AuDHD and hypersensitive to tone of voice), but the lack of sleep and bad pain lower it significantly. He gets nit-picky and I get even more forgetful when tired, and he thinks I’m not listening to him because I keep forgetting the small things he wants done “his way.” We’re both a mess. He realizes he needs to chill and gives me the night off, so I finally get some sleep and space to myself for a couple hours.

Next day, we drive to the next state. Drive is terrible, AGAIN (idk why I thought a road trip with a toddler was ever a good idea). He’s driving, I’m anxious trying to calm the baby, he’s trying to give suggestions that feel like nit picking to me, we end up angry again. We get to the next state and go to bed.

Another night of awful sleep, he wakes up at the crack of dawn by accident and gets up. 8:30am, she ROLLS OFF THE BED, I wake up and scramble to find her (she’s fine, pretty much slowly slid down the tiny space between the pack and play and the end of the bed somehow, but this was one of my worst fears). He takes her and I try my best to go back to bed. In tons of pain due to broken sleep again.

I woke up for the day in a lot of pain still, and he brought her back to bed for a nap. He gets nit-picky again, I’m exhausted and forgetful again, and yet again, we’re arguing. I’m especially frustrated because many of the things he’s getting annoyed with me for are things he also does, but both of our annoyance thresholds are just SO low at this point. I’m currently sitting in a rocking chair while the baby sleeps, just fuming. It’s even more frustrating knowing that if we both just got some good sleep, we would be perfectly fine. Now we’re trying to figure out when to leave for the 14 hour drive back 😭😭 I just wanna be home, so I figured we leave even later tonight so she’s even more tired and just pray she sleeps? I don’t even know how to survive the rest of this at this point. Do we sleep here tonight again and leave early in the morning instead? I’d give almost anything for teleportation to exist right now…