Should I break up with Him?
I posted in the sub a while ago about my LDR of a little over a year now. Some background we live in two different states around 2000 miles away, he’s studying a trade and I’m studying at a 4 year university going into my junior year. He’s planning on earning certificates for his career and he’s on the 2nd out of 3 and wants to be moved in my state by the fall of this year. I feel Ike like we are in different places and we aren’t growing towards God at the same place and pace. I understand everyone’s journey is different but we struggle a lot with fornication together when we visit and apart. The situation that made this come to an head for me was last night. We were on the phone after my long 13 hour shift, I was tired and telling him my life grievances. I’ve been going through isolation from friends and dealing with questioning Gods plans for my gifts I’m studying in school. He sent me multiple verses and said for me to keep faith and he was going to talk to his priest (his an Orthodox inquirer) to help better. All great. But skip to earlier that day I said something that he took as me flirting sexually but I didn’t mean it but I was extremely fatigued because of my long shift being in the heat so my spirit was weak. I said it was to flirt and we kept just talking in text in this flirtatious manner that led us to break our abstinence in the past. He didn’t mention it when I called finally when I got home at 11, so I just vented to him and cried a little just about the stuff mentioned earlier. So at this point it was almost midnight and he was washing up and shirtless. Remembering earlier I started pointing it out and he didn’t shoot me down. It lead to us fornicating again. He broke down and self loathed, which made me angry. Later at like 3 am he called me and said he couldn’t sleep because he saw a “black entity watching over him”. I didn’t know what to say I told him to continue praying and he asked for me to stay on the phone. Today is Sunday I went to church and he stayed home because he felt like he had a cold or something so he woke up at like 11:30. love him so much because of his caring soul and he’s very sweetly supportive, but he lacks in the strong standing I’d need in a man for my husband. I feel like he takes accountability but says he “hates himself for falling constantly” but has little game plan or strong discipline. He’s been sheltered and he has ADHD which makes it difficult but not impossible. He also doesn’t have strong Christian parents that didn’t raise him to be a strong man. Sometimes I feel like I pressure him too much but at the same time I we cant keep sinning like this and tearing each other down. I need a man with strong self control to not constantly waiver in leading and putting boundaries. We’ve been doing better modesty, less flirtatious conversations, and consistent Bible study the last couple of weeks. But this really made me feel so lost on whether we should step away and work on ourselves individually or continue pushing towards Christ together as a couple. Sorry this is kinda long but I’ll summarize it too.
TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for just over a year (about 2,000 miles apart). We both love Christ and have been working on growing in our faith, but we continue struggling with sexual sin despite making progress with boundaries, modesty, and Bible study. After a recent relapse, he became overwhelmed with guilt and later said he saw a "black entity" watching him, which left me shaken. I love him deeply and appreciate how kind and supportive he is, but I'm questioning whether he has the spiritual leadership, discipline, and self-control I hope for in a future husband. I'm torn between continuing to pursue Christ together or taking a step back to focus on growing individually before moving forward.