u/Dry_Zebra_1347

I’m 23F.

I have been single for three years, and struggle to meet men and form relationships.

To put it simply, I’m normal. I don’t have immense baggage or personality/mental health issues.

I work a full-time job and attend university. I’m a well-rounded student who volunteers in my community. I’m not unattractive and often hear that from different types of people. I’m not out of shape or unhygienic. I present “clean cut” which is something I’ve seen a lot of people bring up in dating. I have many hobbies and an active social life. I don’t drink or go to bars/clubs. I feel like I have it “together” as much as someone my age could. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

I’ve had to sift through a lot of people. I feel like if I put up with a little more, I’d be in a relationship - but I don’t want to compromise my self-worth.

Everyone has value, but a lot of the times the people going after me don’t align with me in any sense. I’m not speaking appearance wise. I’ve done a lot of introspection and wondered if it’s me. I know people on here don’t have all of the answers, but any advice would help.

Has any normal person struggled to date? What helped you? Was there something you were missing that those around you didn’t tell you, etc?

I’m 23F and interested in a long-term relationship.

Casual intimacy is not appealing to me in any sense. I’m not under the impression that sex needs to be withheld until you’re in a committed relationship, but it does need to be appropriately paced. To be frank, I’m not having sex with just anyone. I’m not sleeping with someone I wouldn’t have a child with. STDs are too common.

I’ve encountered a few situations recently where before taking me on a date, men make jokes with sexual innuendos or explicit comments about my body. I instantly ended things right then and there. They played it off as jokes when I responded that I find it inappropriate.

I just wonder if I’m being unreasonable. I find it wildly inappropriate to suggest being intimate before they have gotten to know me on a deeper level or put in legitimate effort. It feels cheap and degrading. I encounter this more often than not, and it’s discouraging.

I simply don’t know how to gauge whether it’s someone’s awkward attempt and displaying attraction OR wanting to jump in bed. How do you discern this as a woman? This is something I’m still navigating.

I (23F) am currently in university and working. I find it quite difficult to meet men in my area as it’s more suburban.

I feel that dating apps truly don’t capture someone’s complete personality and remove the initiating process in an unnatural way. They’re just not for me. I’ve had minimal success (dates looking nothing like their photos, behaving inappropriately, etc.)

The thing is, my cohort is 99.9% women. I don’t have male friends. I do have male coworkers but don’t find it appropriate to break the professional boundary especially because my job is higher stakes. Men don’t approach at the gym because it’s supposedly creepy. Friends of friends are all married or I’m not attracted to them. I try to attend events in my area and it’s mostly older adults or women - everything that attracts a younger crowd involves alcohol/partying.

I quite honestly don’t know where else to look. I’m still single and I feel like it’s because of my location. I cannot move yet until I finish graduate school - so I feel stuck. Any advice?

I’m in my early 20’s and tapped out of the going-out scene. A few of my friends and family members struggle with alcoholism and I’ve witnessed the life changing destruction a drunk mistake can cause.

I am not an alcoholic in the sense that I drink frequently, but when I do - I’m unable to control myself. Getting sloppy drunk and doing/saying things I would never do sober isn’t cute or fun anymore. After an incident this weekend (I wasn’t involved, just witnessed it) I’ve decided to go entirely sober. It’s for the better as alcoholism runs in my family and I’m clearly not mature enough to handle myself.

The hangxiety and feeling like garbage mentally for the next 2-3 days is not worth it. The thing is, my friends constantly suggest going out to bars or drinks for dinner as plans. I do live in a fun city area so can anyone suggest things to do that do not involve alcohol?

Planning a little solo day this weekend after the workweek and open to suggestions.

I’m nearing the end of university, putting deeper consideration into how I present myself - especially in the workplace. I’ve had a lot of networking opportunities lately and feel my clothing falls short.

I’ve been gravitating towards more modest clothing because that’s when I feel most comfortable.

I currently dress well, but I do find my style to be a little juvenile and not necessarily timeless. I want to find pieces that will maintain their quality over time. Part of this is also being environmentally friendly. I’m losing interest in low-quality fast fashion clothing.

In what ways can I elevate my style? I was thinking of buying some more basics (button downs, long t-shirts, slacks, simple belt) I’ll be exploring the thrift/consignment stores so let me know what I should keep an eye out for!

Thank you.