u/Dslagell

Hello.

I’m 30 years old, I grew up in Christianity. I started deconstructing at 20. By 22 I had come to grips with the fact I wasn’t straight. However because it was so late in life. I spent most of my 20’s experimenting with everything and definitely made some bad decisions cause I didn’t know any better. Or I didn’t know how to talk about it.

I need therapy, I need to find resources that not only focus on LGBT subject matter but also with an understanding edge of former naive homeschooler (I’m ashamed to say it) Christian to it.

I’ve tried to set things up with better help, but worry I won’t be able to find someone who understands both the former Christian guilt and the now accepting who I am as a human.

If anyone knows of a good resources and is willing to direct me on where or who in NC. I should look into? That would be much appreciated. Cause I definitely need to seek some help.

Thank you

Once again Mods, if this is too much or not allowed. Please by all means delete this post.

I don’t believe anyone’s posted about this yet and if it doesn’t fully fit in this subreddit. Mods please feel free to delete this.

But if you haven’t heard of it, a horror-supernatural film came out this called Leviticus and I’m just going to copy-paste the main premise but it’s this

“a new teenager in a conservative rural Australian town named Naim (Joe Bird) develops a secret romance with a local boy named Ryan (Stacy Clausen). After their relationship is exposed to their fundamentalist religious community, a "deliverance healer" forces them through a violent conversion therapy ritual. The ceremony curses the boys with a malevolent entity that stalks them by shapeshifting into the person they desire most—each other—turning their budding love into a constant, paranoid struggle for survival”

It’s one of those type of films that I felt seen in a way I haven’t seen done before.

It’s not a full film about evangelicals cause naturally the supernatural-horror element. But the element of being who you are and not fitting in with the church felt relatable.

Along with the fact theirs a scene where the worship band sounds like a rip off of Bethel or Hillsong United track.

I loved it a lot and as a former exvangelical and gay man. I was s curious what everyone else thought about it? Assuming you’ve seen it, cause parts of feel very accurate to the weird guilt feelings of growing up in a conservative background and wanting to be yourself despite having to keep it hidden. And feeling like a weird outsider-monster

Thoughts?

When I first started deconstructing, I was shown by a (friend at the time) Julien Baker’s music and her first record became a massive blueprint for me and was the first time I heard of any type of Christian ( at that time, I’m not sure where she stands rn with all of that.)

Talking about struggles with faith and her personal beliefs towards her sexuality. It opened my mind and became some of the most relatable lyrics I’d felt.

I’m 30 now and still have my flaws and issues, but it’s now been 10 years since I got out of it (Christianity)

And I was curious to know if anyone else felt the same or if her music also blew your mind and changed how ya started to view the world after hearing it?