Is it settling? Will I be settling my whole life?
Four years ago I moved from a large city to the country with my parents, and I’ve been living here ever since. Paying rent, adding to savings, spending way too much on credit cards, but all-in-all doing fine financially. I’ve built a micro-following with social media and gotten into new hobbies, but recently I’m stuck. The goals were:
-Save up for home ownership [won’t happen thanks to student loans, car payment, and general home loan estimates].
-Find a home to rent [slow going. Lots of tours, lots of “No”s (thanks to the 3X the rent rule), favorite areas being snatched up quickly)].
-Create a space for hosting artists/musicians, friends, parties/dinners. Have multiple rooms to dedicate to office space and filming.
-Do not move back to an apartment [I do not want my space attached to anyone else, due to my last apartment’s noise and nuisance conditions].
My sister moved in too, and ever since, there’s been daily tension in the house. Long story short, mom is Christian-Conservative (don’t get me started on this), and is experiencing increasing anxiety and paranoia. Because of this, I have been stifled creatively. I’m not writing, not singing, not dancing, and now, not creating content. I am anxious, tired, and am now experiencing worsening health.
I have a chance to move into a brand new community of (almost) duplex-style homes with small yards in a growing area. It could be good to finally be out of the house and creating again, but the space is small, and minimizes my goals (hosting, etc.). And for the same price, I could also wait things out for renting a house.
If I take this opportunity, I’m terrified that I’m settling. It’s not my two-three bedroom home with rooms for filming, business, and guests. It’s not a space that would be unshared. It would feel like a step back.
But if I don’t take it, I genuinely feel like I’m regressing in body, mind, health, and creative expression/spirit.
If I accept something less than my goals (which have been lowered due to life/financial circumstances), is it settling?
Will I be settling all my life?
TLDR: Living back at home has destroyed creative life. Home ownership/rental goals and overall life dreams dwindling if at all existent. Do I lower my goals and accept opportunity for change, or stay and continue to wait? If I accept something less than my goals (which have been lowered due to life/financial circumstances), is it settling? Will I be settling all my life?