u/DuckyVermin

So. This happened years ago, I was like 15 and I am 23 now. For context, my mother was dealing with a lot; my siblings were definitely not great in terms of behavior (I have four brothers and two had severe issues) and she was having significant issues with bad medication. Essentially, she was unstable. It’s not an excuse for her actions at all, but it does give background that I don’t think she would have acted as she did normally. But I also gave her a much needed wake up call.

I was the least of her problems at the time, honestly. I was mostly just trying to skate by unnoticed most of the day because I was terrified of her wrath most of the time. I did not escape this time. She decided the best course of action to discipline me for spending too much time on my 3ds without doing chores was to punch me. And I was done.

I called the cops on her. Keep in mind this was the first time anyone had called her out on her behavior to this degree. When she found out and the police got there, she instantly tried to pull the “it wasn’t that bad” and “my kid is autistic and doesn’t understand what they are doing” (I do not understand why she remotely thought this was credible but I digress) and acted as if she very calm and sane. Meanwhile I explain very clearly what she did to some actually quite understanding officers. The cops tried to quietly urge me to ask for an ambulance, probably so they could put like a case on her and everything, but I refused because I was scared of an escalation. I more wanted to show her I was not going to stand for it, I wasn’t looking to make sure she’d lose her kids. Not to mention I knew that it wasn’t really necessary to go that far, my mom just needed to pull her head up. When they left, my mom was mad about it, and encouraged my siblings to make fun of me for doing it, but I did not budge. I just calmly said she was starting a pattern of abuse that her own parents did to her, and I would not be a victim. That bit helped to shut her down too. I didn’t like throwing it out like that, but it was necessary to shake her enough.

Thankfully, this was the only incident, and she got off those meds (that were actually later classified as having really bad side affects and no longer prescribed, go figure), and she got therapy and is a lot better now. She would also later admit that was indeed the slap in the face she needed. I am normally a happy-go-lucky, nothing phases me person now, but that’s more because I lived a childhood of never speaking up and being a wallflower to my own life. And I think because this incident was unusual in terms of that as well, it helped break through for that too. I am still learning to some degree how to stand up for myself properly, especially when it concerns such heavy topics, but this was the first time I managed the courage to really do it.

There are other, smaller incidents of me essentially digging my heels in because I know I am in the right, but they are less “traumatize them back” and more just “I will be the most impossible person you have ever had the displeasure of dealing with,” though you could classify that as it’s own trauma lol.

If this ends up being found by the Cliccy, I hope this little story can help others in similar situations know that even if it’s scary, it’s important to stand up for yourself. I was terrified of the repercussions at the time, but now I’m very glad I did something about my situation (even if it was probably the most drastic option I could take lol).

We started dating in 8th grade. Yes I'm serious, no I don't know why either of us thought that was a good idea. We were together through so much. My parents' emotional neglect, their parent's alcoholism, my shitty college experience, their struggle to keep the family apartment, and my extensive medical complications. Everything. It wasn't a bad or abusive relationship really, but over the years, I noticed certain things that were out of place. In arguments between friends, they would take any side that wasn't mine. When they got me gifts, they were centered on what they wanted me to have, and not my actual interests (I never made this mistake). They would constantly forget the exact day my birthday was on, while I memorized birthdays I wasn't even trying to remember half the time, let alone theirs. Little things that just nagged me. I wasn't without my flaws, of course, and so I turned a blind eye because again, I'm no saint. And then... everything blew up. They asked for space because of their mental health, and I decided that would be permanent because they did not respect my opinion on shared decisions. 5 months later, they were with someone new. That only matters since it did feel like a nail in the coffin in terms of the lack of respect, to some degree. And even though it still hurts so much to lose someone so pivotal to me after so many years together... it feels like a relief too. The last pillar to my tumultuous childhood is gone, the last person besides my immediate family who had to witness my worst moments is no longer around to remind me of it all. And I know it's really bad to think of it that way, but I can't help but feel that kind of relief. Most nights I feel like everything is wrong, and I'm barely above the grief, but maybe now I can move on. To some degree, I think I grew up, and they never really did. I hope they learn to be better to both the new person, and in general. Despite what happened between us, I don't really hold malice towards them. Just sadness that things soured and broke the way they did.