u/Due-Doctor-9526

Hello! This is the update to my last post.

I do want to say thank you to everyone who gave advice, judgment, and their stories of how they dealt with friends in the past. I appreciate all of it and read many of your comments. I read some comments from mothers who have kids my age and what they would've told their kids. While I do adore my mother, I was worried she was being a bit biased and was just automatically taking my side, but you guys showed that mothers do know best. Thank you!

I took many of your pieces of advice and did not go to the reunion. I went back and forth on whether I should send a text saying I wouldn't be available. I didn't want to send it too early, where I'd be setting myself up to be berated or told I'd still have enough time to "figure it out," so I decided to wait until Sunday afternoon. I made the decision that I would not be attending by Saturday afternoon after reading your comments and speaking to my mother and older sister. I didn't open the group chat at all after making my decision.

Since my Saturday was cleared up already, I spent the day having a girls' day with my family, which was a nice reminder that I'll be okay without friends. Sunday, I got caught up in shopping and taking care of my family. Sunday afternoon rolls around, and I open the group chat around 15 minutes before the plan, since I seriously forgot to send the text earlier. I stopped worrying about it Saturday evening. K was saying that he was too tired to go to the MD's because of the party he went to yesterday, and that he DoorDashed stuff to the party, so he was out of money. The three of them started going at it and asking how he could cancel his own plans. I sat there watching them argue, and K said that I wasn't even responding to the group chat, so they had no ride anyway.

I was over it at this point because it just felt like he was trying to pin it on me. Maybe he wasn't, but he's the one canceling and saying he was too tired to attend HIS plans I literally moved my responsibilities around for. Not to mention, he's tired from the plans he agreed to after having our plans set in place. At this point, I realized I was over their poor planning and their low effort. Instead of defending myself or saying anything, I just removed myself from the group chat. I didn't see the point in arguing if I wasn't going to attend anyway. I'm not sure if they did end up going or not.

I thought it was best to not attend anyway since some of you mentioned just how deep into legal trouble I could get in if the cops did show up, so thank you. I don't plan to socialize with them in the future unless they do a 180. So there's the update for a few of you who asked for. Sorry, it wasn't drama-filled or anything. I just try to avoid conflict and drama. I do wish I had confronted them on ordering or bossing me around, but I know in the future I won't let others treat me like this again. Again, thank you for the advice.

Extra: Just to clear some things up that some people asked or mentioned but weren't really relevant to the story.

1. I am a girl. We are all girls except for K.

2. I do have a father; he's present and is married to my mother, but I just have a closer relationship with my mother. Someone asked this, but I guess they deleted their comment since I can't find it.

3. Some people mentioned that my last post was too long or that I gave too many details. I was always taught that details and any relevant information were important to include in school. I'm in honors and AP classes, so they do expect the most correct grammar and details, whether in essays or research. I do admit some details weren't important and could have been left out, I guess, at the time they felt important, but I realized probably not. I apologize.

Thank you all once again! Have a good day.

WIBTAH if I didn't show up to my friend group's reunion because they changed the date without saying anything, knowing I'm supposed to be their ride?

Long story, I apologize, I just really need advice.

My friend group consists of 4. There's K, P, D, and me. We've been planning a reunion because, a little over a year ago, K moved out of state out of nowhere and didn't get to say goodbye in person. Of course, the four of us stayed in contact. K, let us know he was coming back in early June. Well, now K is back, and he wanted to plan a get-together to celebrate his move back to our state.

K said he wants to meet up at MD's (fast food place). Everyone seemed okay with that idea. K started to ask what days the rest of us are available. We are all on summer break by now, so school isn't an issue. K and D are available on all days, while P is only available on weekends. For me, it's a bit tricky since I have responsibilities at home and on weekends. I was willing to clear up my schedule for this plan, but I made it very clear that weekends were the hardest, and if we could aim for a weekday, that would be much easier. We all ended up getting in a small argument over the dates we were free. K started telling me to "figure it out" after everyone decided on Saturday.

For quick context, my mom works long hours during the week and needs my help to go shopping (I drive us to the store since her health makes it difficult to drive) and needs my help with doing house chores like laundry and dinner over the weekend. All while I also take care of my elderly grandmother.

I told them once again, Saturday is extremely hard, and if there was any way that can move it to a weekday, since 2/4 people were available any day. We once again got into an argument. I asked P why she wasn't available on weekdays (I knew she hung out any time, any day with her other friends, so I was confused why these days were blocked off). P avoided my questions continuously and only reacted to them. I was confused, but I just backed off. K continued to tell me to "figure it out." I decided to bite my tongue and just clear my Saturday so we can all get together since it was for K's return. Because of this, I moved all my responsibilities to Sunday.

Now that the day is set, I start asking questions. I guess It's important to say that I'm a "on a schedule" person while the rest of the group are "go with the flow" people. I start asking about which MD's we'll be meeting at (we have 3 close by). P says she wants to go to one with the playground. (It's a big plastic playground which is separated into a different area in the restaurant) While it's meant for children and is always packed, I didn't say anything, knowing there would be a chance we'd be kicked out. We are all 16-17, and the MD we are going to is known for kicking teenagers out, so we'd already be on the watch list as soon as we walk in. I don't say anything since I try not to rock the boat with them because they're my only friends. I know that I'll just sit in the seating area where the playground is if it comes down to it. I just got my first job down the street from this MD, so I can not risk getting in any trouble with the staff or police. The staff at MD are quick to call the cops.

We all agree to go with the MD that has the playground. I continue asking questions like "What time?" and "Will we be doing anything else afterwards?" No one answers my questions, and if I do get a response, it's something vague like "I don't know" or "anytime after 12." P continues to talk about the playground and suggests that we need to make this day memorable. P suggests we should try to get the cops called on us by "terrorizing the workers and civilians." I bite my tongue because K and D are agreeing with P, and I don't want to be a downer.

K then tells me directly, "You have to pick me up because I said so." It's already hard for me to make a weekend plan, and K lives 2 towns over. While gas is expensive, I wouldn't charge him for any. I also didn't like the way he was demanding. I tend to always say yes to the friend group when they ask for rides (I'm the only one who drives within the 4 of us) to not start drama or lose them, but the way he was demanding it just rubbed me the wrong way. I knew if I picked up K, I would have to pick up D, then P, while also being their ride back. That would be a lot of driving, responsibility, and gas.

I'm not rich, and I don't have the newest car, but the friend group tends to talk down on my car because I guess it doesn't reach their "standards". The car is reliable and gets me from point A to B just fine. It's not a sedan but an SUV, and I think that's what they don't like since they call the car "big and old" and "not cool looking". I think this is weird for them to comment on since not any one of them has their license, a car, or a job. I'm also the youngest out of the four of us.

Anyways, I ask K if he could at least go down to D's house so I can pick them up together, or if D can give K a ride to my house, and then we will head to pick up P. D texts back and says, "Hoe I have a scooter". Again, this rubbed me the wrong way, but I just brushed it off as she didn't mean it like that. I explained that I thought she'd get a ride from her father. D says it depends on which day and if her dad has that day off. I just tell everyone to figure out if they can all meet up in one place so I can pick them all up at once. That's where this whole conversation ends.

The next day, D asks in the group chat, "What time are we going Sunday???" I am confused by this because we obviously all agreed on Saturday. K responds by saying "Idk 2 pm or later." Mind you, there was not once a conversation where the date moved from Saturday to Sunday in this group chat, so I'm assuming there's another group chat that I'm not in, or they talked about the date moving somewhere else. This makes me upset because I already moved all responsibilities to Sunday, and to change everything to Saturday is just unreasonable. D says she has to go see a movie on Sunday, so we need to account for that. I ask why the plans got moved to Sunday. K says he has a party to go to on Saturday, so that's why our plans got canceled. I'm hurt because I know if D didn't ask for the time for Sunday, I would be asking around on Saturday if they were getting ready. I wouldn't have found out the date changed until the day of the original plans, since all 3 of them already knew about the change.

I know he made these plans after we settled on Saturday because we made these plans Thursday morning, and he met with the person hosting the party later that day. So he had no consideration for our already made plans. He also lets me know I need to pick up everyone and drive everyone back home. At this point, I'm frustrated and hurt, so I don't say anything. I need advice on what I should do from here. Writing this made me realize how much they dismiss me or belittle me. They do this between all of us, but I guess now I'm coming to terms with the fact that I don't like it and how much it affects me.

I guess it's worth mentioning I've always been the quiet one out of this group, so they sort of use that and the fact their older than me to boss me around. My mom comes first when she needs me, so she's the priority, and I do just fine with her and my sister being my friends. I guess I'm just scared of wanting to lose "all" my friends that aren't my family, so I just go along with what they say. I did miss K a lot while he was gone. He's my best friend, and we were very close, but now I'm just not sure.

So WIBTAH if I didn't show up to my friend group's reunion because they changed the date without saying anything, knowing I'm supposed to be their ride?

WIBTA if I didn't show up to my friend group's reunion because they changed the date without saying anything, knowing I'm supposed to be their ride?

Long story, I apologize, I just really need advice.

My friend group consists of 4. There's K, P, D, and me. We've been planning a reunion because, a little over a year ago, K moved out of state out of nowhere and didn't get to say goodbye in person. Of course, the four of us stayed in contact. K, let us know he was coming back in early June. Well, now K is back, and he wanted to plan a get-together to celebrate his move back to our state.

K said he wants to meet up at MD's (fast food place). Everyone seemed okay with that idea. K started to ask what days the rest of us are available. We are all on summer break by now, so school isn't an issue. K and D are available on all days, while P is only available on weekends. For me, it's a bit tricky since I have responsibilities at home and on weekends. I was willing to clear up my schedule for this plan, but I made it very clear that weekends were the hardest, and if we could aim for a weekday, that would be much easier. We all ended up getting in a small argument over the dates we were free. K started telling me to "figure it out" after everyone decided on Saturday.

For quick context, my mom works long hours during the week and needs my help to go shopping (I drive us to the store since her health makes it difficult to drive) and needs my help with doing house chores like laundry and dinner over the weekend. All while I also take care of my elderly grandmother.

I told them once again, Saturday is extremely hard, and if there was any way that can move it to a weekday, since 2/4 people were available any day. We once again got into an argument. I asked P why she wasn't available on weekdays (I knew she hung out any time, any day with her other friends, so I was confused why these days were blocked off). P avoided my questions continuously and only reacted to them. I was confused, but I just backed off. K continued to tell me to "figure it out." I decided to bite my tongue and just clear my Saturday so we can all get together since it was for K's return. Because of this, I moved all my responsibilities to Sunday.

Now that the day is set, I start asking questions. I guess It's important to say that I'm a "on a schedule" person while the rest of the group are "go with the flow" people. I start asking about which MD's we'll be meeting at (we have 3 close by). P says she wants to go to one with the playground. (It's a big plastic playground which is separated into a different area in the restaurant) While it's meant for children and is always packed, I didn't say anything, knowing there would be a chance we'd be kicked out. We are all 16-17, and the MD we are going to is known for kicking teenagers out, so we'd already be on the watch list as soon as we walk in. I don't say anything since I try not to rock the boat with them because they're my only friends. I know that I'll just sit in the seating area where the playground is if it comes down to it. I just got my first job down the street from this MD, so I can not risk getting in any trouble with the staff or police. The staff at MD are quick to call the cops.

We all agree to go with the MD that has the playground. I continue asking questions like "What time?" and "Will we be doing anything else afterwards?" No one answers my questions, and if I do get a response, it's something vague like "I don't know" or "anytime after 12." P continues to talk about the playground and suggests that we need to make this day memorable. P suggests we should try to get the cops called on us by "terrorizing the workers and civilians." I bite my tongue because K and D are agreeing with P, and I don't want to be a downer.

K then tells me directly, "You have to pick me up because I said so." It's already hard for me to make a weekend plan, and K lives 2 towns over. While gas is expensive, I wouldn't charge him for any. I also didn't like the way he was demanding. I tend to always say yes to the friend group when they ask for rides (I'm the only one who drives within the 4 of us) to not start drama or lose them, but the way he was demanding it just rubbed me the wrong way. I knew if I picked up K, I would have to pick up D, then P, while also being their ride back. That would be a lot of driving, responsibility, and gas.

I'm not rich, and I don't have the newest car, but the friend group tends to talk down on my car because I guess it doesn't reach their "standards". The car is reliable and gets me from point A to B just fine. It's not a sedan but an SUV, and I think that's what they don't like since they call the car "big and old" and "not cool looking". I think this is weird for them to comment on since not any one of them has their license, a car, or a job. I'm also the youngest out of the four of us.

Anyways, I ask K if he could at least go down to D's house so I can pick them up together, or if D can give K a ride to my house, and then we will head to pick up P. D texts back and says, "Hoe I have a scooter". Again, this rubbed me the wrong way, but I just brushed it off as she didn't mean it like that. I explained that I thought she'd get a ride from her father. D says it depends on which day and if her dad has that day off. I just tell everyone to figure out if they can all meet up in one place so I can pick them all up at once. That's where this whole conversation ends.

The next day, D asks in the group chat, "What time are we going Sunday???" I am confused by this because we obviously all agreed on Saturday. K responds by saying "Idk 2 pm or later." Mind you, there was not once a conversation where the date moved from Saturday to Sunday in this group chat, so I'm assuming there's another group chat that I'm not in, or they talked about the date moving somewhere else. This makes me upset because I already moved all responsibilities to Sunday, and to change everything to Saturday is just unreasonable. D says she has to go see a movie on Sunday, so we need to account for that. I ask why the plans got moved to Sunday. K says he has a party to go to on Saturday, so that's why our plans got canceled. I'm hurt because I know if D didn't ask for the time for Sunday, I would be asking around on Saturday if they were getting ready. I wouldn't have found out the date changed until the day of the original plans, since all 3 of them already knew about the change.

I know he made these plans after we settled on Saturday because we made these plans Thursday morning, and he met with the person hosting the party later that day. So he had no consideration for our already made plans. He also lets me know I need to pick up everyone and drive everyone back home. At this point, I'm frustrated and hurt, so I don't say anything. I need advice on what I should do from here. Writing this made me realize how much they dismiss me or belittle me. They do this between all of us, but I guess now I'm coming to terms with the fact that I don't like it and how much it affects me.

I guess it's worth mentioning I've always been the quiet one out of this group, so they sort of use that and the fact their older than me to boss me around. My mom comes first when she needs me, so she's the priority, and I do just fine with her and my sister being my friends. I guess I'm just scared of wanting to lose "all" my friends that aren't my family, so I just go along with what they say. I did miss K a lot while he was gone. He's my best friend, and we were very close, but now I'm just not sure.

So WIBTA if I didn't show up to my friend group's reunion because they changed the date without saying anything, knowing I'm supposed to be their ride?