u/Due-Row-8696

It’s been just under 3 months since my wife of 15 years asked for separation. I’ve been giving her space as I am able, we have a house together and 3 younger children. Staying at a friends house in town while he sets it up as a rental, at which point I’ll be back home.

So, my wife suggested I take the kids for the night. Having my three kids here, not at my house, is the lowest I’ve felt since this all started. I love having my kids close, but I’m so embarrassed and full of shame. This is not what I ever imagined, having my kids stay with me in some random place that’s not their home. It’s heartbreaking. The kids seem fine, it’s a sleepover for them and we got snacks and watched a movie. But it was so hard to hide my pain and sadness. They don’t deserve this.

I want to explain this to my wife, but I don’t think there’s a point. She’s the one who put us here and she’s so checked out mentally. I honestly think she’d be mad and think “I couldn’t handle the kids” for a night, which is not the case at all. This just seems so fucked up and backwards.

I know what that sounds like, take your meds right? I’m a little over 6 months in, having transitioned off lexipro. The side effects have been bothersome: brain fog, general malaise and periodic muscle spasms (funny, since part of the reason for taking this is neuropathy). I’m usually incredibly militant at taking rx each day, and I just forget to take it sometimes. Maybe like once or twice every 2 weeks. I’ve noticed more recently when I forget to take it, the side effects are intense: dizziness while standing, balance issues, severe migraines. I’ve been reading here about people’s struggles with getting off the meds, too- brain zap? Basically, im concerned about what this med is doing to me long term if this is the effect from missing a single dose. That seems crazy to me. Thoughts are welcome and appreciated.