In Sri Lanka: How do you deal with a difficult elderly neighbour? Need some advice
I’m looking for some advice from people in Sri Lanka who may have dealt with a similar situation.
I have an elderly woman as my neighbour. She is around 80 years old. I’m trying my best to ignore the situation and avoid confrontation, but this has been happening almost every day and it is becoming very stressful.
There is no proper fence or wall between her property and mine. Her house/land is on the higher side, while my house is lower down.
One of the main problems is garbage and food waste. She regularly puts food around her property saying it is for stray dogs, but the dogs usually don't eat it. The food eventually becomes rotten and smells very bad. She also puts garbage close to the boundary, and when it rains or when there is strong wind, some of it comes onto my property. Because my house is on the lower side, this becomes an even bigger problem.
She also puts garbage on the road, and I have heard that some of the other neighbours have complained to her about this as well. From what I understand, her response to them has been basically the same**,** she becomes angry and starts arguing rather than accepting the complaint.
Another issue is that she regularly blames me for things that are not my responsibility. For example, almost every evening she complains that I haven't turned on a light in my backyard. The streetlight near us was also broken recently, and she keeps blaming me for not fixing it. I have already complained to the relevant authorities about the streetlight, but nothing was done, so I eventually gave up.
When I tried to explain this to her, she became extremely angry and started shouting loudly. On one occasion, she shouted to the whole neighbourhood that I had come to hit her, even though I had not threatened or touched her.
This is also what makes me afraid to confront her about the garbage. Whenever I try to tell her something, she starts shouting and making a scene.
She is also very loud in general. I work from home, and sometimes I have to keep my microphone muted because of the constant shouting and noise.
There have also been situations where she seems to want to argue or fight with people. If there is nobody else around, she sometimes tries to confront me directly. I'm trying very hard not to respond or escalate things, but honestly, sometimes it is becoming difficult to keep ignoring it.
I have spoken to her children about the situation before. They apologized to me, but unfortunately the behaviour continues.
She also has a dog that is quite aggressive. It often jumps towards vehicles, especially motorcycles and tuk-tuks, while barking. If someone gets angry with the dog or shouts at it, she immediately starts shouting at that person as well.
The biggest issue for me now is the stress. I work from home, and I find myself becoming anxious even before the day starts. Sometimes I wake up wondering whether she has put rotten food or garbage near my house again. In the evening, I feel anxious wondering whether she is going to start blaming me about something else.
I don't know whether this is simply her personality, attention-seeking behaviour, or possibly something related to her age. I don't want to make assumptions or diagnose her, but some of the behaviour seems unusual.
My main question is for people in Sri Lanka who have dealt with difficult neighbours, especially elderly neighbours. What did you actually do?
I really don't want this to turn into something serious. I just want to have some peace, keep my property clean, and avoid confrontation.
I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar in Sri Lanka and what actually worked for you.
