u/END-OF-THE-ODYSSEY

I want to be more careful next time when an urge hits and really understand myself… Today was great already but I think I can always improve.

I betrayed myself again. At first it felt like all was lost, but then I realized that it is just another small battle lost in the big war against the part of me I want to get rid of. If you sum it all up and you’ve won more often than you’ve lost, you’ll be free in the end.

Always remember: Rome wasn’t built in a day, so you may give yourself some time as well! Keep your head up and literally touch some grass once in a while :)

I betrayed myself again. At first it felt like all was lost, but then I realized that it is just another small battle lost in the big war against the part of me I want to get rid of. If you sum it all up and you’ve won more often than you’ve lost, you’ll be free in the end.

Always remember: Rome wasn’t built in a day, so you may give yourself some time as well! Keep your head up and literally touch some grass once in a while :)

I know how hard it is to remind yourself what you are fighting for…
Never forget, that every day you stand behind your decision to quit, you prove to yourself that you can be trusted and that you are still a good person deep in your heart, regardless of how long you clang to porn and it’s empty promises!

To all of you that are still struggling with finding a perfect point in time to stop, let me give you a piece of advice: The best day is today, and there will never be a better one. I had to go through too much bullshit to learn this. Please, just believe me.

Earlier today I bought The Iliad by Homer and I am going to spend my new won freetime with reading and making music as well as some exercise.

I know how hard it is to remind yourself what you are fighting for…
Never forget, that every day you stand behind your decision to quit, you prove to yourself that you can be trusted and that you are still a good person deep in your heart, regardless of how long you clang to porn and it’s empty promises!

To all of you that are still struggling with finding a perfect point in time to stop, let me give you a piece of advice: The best day is today, and there will never be a better one. I had to go through too much bullshit to learn this. Please, just believe me.

Earlier today I bought The Iliad by Homer and I am going to spend my new won freetime with reading and making music as well as some exercise.

There are three major reasons that lead to a relapse for me:

1. ⁠Waking up late after a long night with bad sleep.

-> Just try to implement a healthy and consistent sleep schedule and make it one of your top priorities and you’ll notice a change in energy and productivity sooner than you think.

2. Being bored and on my own.

-> Going outside or in my case to uni always helps me. I meet random people or my friends and even the smallest conversation can be a really nice puzzle piece in the big picture of a great and fulfilling day. Cooking or baking is another habit that really makes me happy and creating something in general always leaves permanent joy in my mind.

3. Having too much unused energy in the evening.

-> Today I swam 2+ km and I am actually proud of my stamina and my will to pull through. Just being able to trust yourself with achieving small goals throughout the day/week/month/year helps you to face the big challenge of quitting this rotten and addicting habit. And you only need yourself and the floor to start exercising! So start small today.

It is only my first day of being free from porn, but I know I can really get out this time. I had short and long streaks before, but I think counting days is not the solution. Just win one day at a time and don’t pressure yourself to reach a specific number of days.

The time not having watched porn is not what you should want to be by proud of.
You should be proud of yourself every second you work on your goal, because in these moments you leave no space for it in your life. This is what really matters.

You constantly win your battles by just building a life you enjoy living.

There are three major reasons that lead to a relapse for me:

1. Waking up late after a long night with bad sleep.

-> Just try to implement a healthy and consistent sleep schedule and make it one of your top priorities and you’ll notice a change in energy and productivity sooner than you think.

2. Being bored and on my own.

-> Going outside or in my case to uni always helps me. I meet random people or my friends and even the smallest conversation can be a really nice puzzle piece in the big picture of a great and fulfilling day. Cooking or baking is another habit that really makes me happy and creating something in general always leaves permanent joy in my mind.

3. Having too much unused energy in the evening.

-> Today I swam 2+ km and I am actually proud of my stamina and my will to pull through. Just being able to trust yourself with achieving small goals throughout the day/week/month/year helps you to face the big challenge of quitting this rotten and addicting habit. And you only need yourself and the floor to start exercising! So start small today.

It is only my first day of being free from porn, but I know I can really get out this time. I had short and long streaks before, but I think counting days is not the solution. Just win one day at a time and don’t pressure yourself to reach a specific number of days.

The time not having watched porn is not what you should want to be by proud of.
You should be proud of yourself every second you work on your goal, because in these moments you leave no space for it in your life. This is what really matters.

You constantly win your battles by just building a life you enjoy living.

I went too far today. This time I‘ve crossed a line I nerver meant to overstep. I hurt myself. Hitting rock bottom by masturbating to porn until bleeding is not how I thought it would end. I’m shocked by the effect porn had on my conscious mind. It drove me right into literal pain.
I think there will never be a moment where it just clicks and you get rid of the addiction by not putting any effort into quitting. Therefore, I post for the first time on this subreddit, because I strongly believe that this community can help me and all of you can learn from my years of struggle. I hope this was the last time. I’ve lied to myself for far too long and I’m so eager to quit this life in hell.

Stay tuned for tomorrow, I won’t let you and myself down.

Hopefully I can mark today as the last day of my ten-year odyssey.

PS: English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes, but I try my best to write down my experiences in a way that is enjoyable to read :)

I went too far today. A few hours ago I‘ve crossed a line I nerver meant to overstep. I hurt myself. Hitting rock bottom by masturbating to porn until bleeding is not how I thought it would end. I’m shocked by the effect porn had on my conscious mind. It drove me right into literal pain.
I think there will never be a moment where it just clicks and you get rid of the addiction by not putting any effort into quitting. Therefore, I post for the first time on this subreddit, because I strongly believe that this community can help me and all of you can learn from my years of struggle. I hope this was the last time. I’ve lied to myself for far too long and I’m so eager to quit this life in hell.

Stay tuned for tomorrow, I won’t let you and myself down.

Hopefully I can mark today as the last day of my ten-year odyssey back to my true identity.

PS: English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes, but I try my best to write down my experiences in a way that is enjoyable to read :)