r/pornfree

You can't defeat the demons you enjoy playing with!

I tried stopping but i always find my way back to it, and i can only get in the mood when i watch these extreme taboo fetishes( i don't want to share details but its genuinely fucked)

i truly feel my soul is tainted, and when i look at myself in the mirror i feel really bad. i've been acting when i'm at work, acting when i'm with friends or family. but if they know what i watch when i'm alone i legit won't have family or friends or even a job.

the problem is every time i say or stop for like a few weeks even MONTHS, i always get back to the dark side of things.

please help me, i tried deleting social media, i tried it all, but nothing lasts or fixed me.

Just to let all you know that the process is almost similarly hard to each one of us. So when you write a Day 0 post, I cant motivate you because you havent dont anything, there is no process.

Im 9 days clear and its been hard. Some people have years behind them without porn. We can make it too. But if you dont do the hard work, motivating each other here is pointless.

Best of luck!!!

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So I've been watching porn & masterbating since 8 years (2018) & it has seriously damaged my mind.....I need to stop it but I just can't resist....the day i don't watch porn, I get dreams of me having sex, thus I wake up with lustful morning wood, so I end up watching porn while masterbating in the morning..... I'm really addicted to it, but i really really want to stop...I tried a lot but I can't....the lust always overpowers me.....pls suggest some affective methods to stop this.

Its very important in healing journey, like lets say you exercise regularly and you miss one training, would you blame yourself over it? Its very important to understand what the trigger was, why it happened and move on. In 5 years porn free I relapsed like 5 times. I know now what to be careful of and just going forward alright

Wish you all the best we got this

Hey Guys,

So, I’m 24M and I am about to get married. Honestly, I don’t even know where to start.

Let’s go back to the beginning. Ever since I first discovered porn and masturbation, I have been addicted. Sadly, I hate it so much. I’ve tried a lot to stop, but I always end up relapsing. The longest I used to go without it was around 3 or 4 days.

Fast forward to 2023, and I got engaged. In our culture, we don't do dating. You can't just go out with a girl normally; it would severely affect both families' reputations. That’s why, when I met my girl and knew she was the one, we got engaged just so I could hang out with her. But even then, there are strict limits and boundaries—yada yada. In short: nothing sexual. We can only go to public places or her parents' home, and we are never left alone together. The whole package.

Anyway, I’ve read online that porn and masturbation can affect things very badly during marriage, so I tried so hard to quit. I think the absolute longest I’ve ever gone without thinking about anything was a month, but I can't seem to reach that goal anymore. I only managed it once. Right now, it’s constantly a "two-week phase" kind of thing. I’ll stop doing or watching anything bad for two weeks, but right when I'm about to enter week three, I get extremely horny. Then, I spiral for an entire week, doing it every single day. Sometimes it's just once a day because of the shame, sometimes a bit more. Trust me, this is very tame compared to what I used to do before the engagement, but I still feel hopeless about quitting. Sometimes I don't even make it through the two-week phase because the urge just hits me out of nowhere. And honestly, talking to her doesn't help—sometimes it makes me even hornier.

Well, the good news is that when I’m in that clean two-week phase, I get hard just being around her or talking to her. When I’m in my spiral week, I still get hard, but it’s definitely not as strong. Because of that, I think my biology is working fine, but I am still terrified of ED. It has never actually happened to me, but just the thought of it scares the hell out of me, and I don't know what to do.

To try and stop this madness, I blocked almost everything. I even started writing down exactly what triggers me or what ideas pop into my head that start this bullshit. Every time an urge hits, I try to tell myself that it’s a trap so I don’t follow it. It actually used to work. But honestly, the spawn of Satan keeps putting the most annoying, creative shit I’ve ever seen into my head just to make me go back to the starting point. I’m seriously starting to think it is Satan himself because of how creative these thoughts are. It's always stuff like: *"Just look at soft porn." "Just find a movie that only has romance and watch it, it’s not real porn." "Just look at ecchi stuff." "Hey, why don't you try reading an adult comic book? It’s not a video."* Or even, *"Okay, how about just watching and not masturbating? You won't relapse if you don't ejaculate."* God help me.

I am getting married in exactly 2 to 3 months. I tried telling myself to just hold off until then, and tried to do it but like I said, after that two-week mark, I went crazy again—sometimes even before that. I keep telling myself, "Marriage will fix this issue, and I won't need any of that bullshit ever again." But then I get scared and ask myself: What if it’s not enough? What if what I read online actually happens to me? How will my life be after marriage? Will I still watch stuff? Will I completely stop? Will we watch it together?

I know I’m joking around at the end there, but man, my brain is about to explode. I am super depressed about this and absolutely terrified at the same time.

(originally wrote this for the woman's only sub but it also applies here)

This whole sub is just filled with people relapsing and struggling, has anyone actually managed to free themselves of porn? I found this sub Reddit as I looking for support with my own journey but looking around everyone seems to be defeated

Are there any success stories?

(Also guys just because I'm a woman that doesn't mean you can spam me with messages and be a creep)

And this is coming from a former "content creator." Being a man, I felt extreme FOMO and was lead to believe that this would bring me fulfillment and make me "the man." I remember after my first collab I just felt so ashamed and empty. The sex itself was so performative, just like all the porn you see. It's not real at all.

Even the amateur porn you see is still performative. If there is a camera, it's not real. There is nothing to gain by watching porn at all. Fuck this degenerate industry and everyone who promotes it.

Throwaway account. We’ve been married 14 years, just had a baby 3 months ago. I’m late 30s, he is early 40s. He’s been addicted to porn for a long time (probably his entire adulthood). Two weeks ago my husband was arrested and charged with downloading and distributing child porn. I am so angry with him I can barely stand it.

He has a lawyer, I have my own. He let his addiction control his life and now it has ruined his life and destroyed everything. He might lose his job (he works in a family owned business) and he had to resign from a bunch of community organizations he was a part of. He is from a small town so he is effectively shunned from town. Half of his family (and all of mine) won’t talk to him anymore. I was worried I would lose my job as a teacher at the small school he went to (and his family has taught at) but thankfully everyone has been very kind to me and asking me what they can do to help me and my young child.

He is finally seeing a therapist that deals with this type of addiction, after years of me begging him to.

So let this be a cautionary tale for you porn addicted people. Get help before you take your addiction too far and destroy everything. I don’t know what the future holds for my family but my focus right now is keeping myself and my child safe.

I know how hard it is to remind yourself what you are fighting for…
Never forget, that every day you stand behind your decision to quit, you prove to yourself that you can be trusted and that you are still a good person deep in your heart, regardless of how long you clang to porn and it’s empty promises!

To all of you that are still struggling with finding a perfect point in time to stop, let me give you a piece of advice: The best day is today, and there will never be a better one. I had to go through too much bullshit to learn this. Please, just believe me.

Earlier today I bought The Iliad by Homer and I am going to spend my new won freetime with reading and making music as well as some exercise.

Far too many times do we relapse, thinking this time it will be different, this will be the last time. At that moment we mean every word but ultimately, we fail time after time. No matter what changes we try we end up back at square one. Every time drained even more than the last relapse. It honestly feel impossible to quit

Hi everyone. Earlier I was getting some urges to look at porn, but came to this subreddit instead. That was a good choice. It's definitely one day at a time, and in this moment. I know porn will take me to a bad place. Sometimes I have forgotten that and fallen into the illusion of it but I'm glad I didn't this time.

No matter how much time I have in recovery, all I ever have is today, this moment. I keep learning that on a deeper and deeper level as time goes on. Last time I slipped, I saw myself being like, "Okay, I'm gonna quit now." and then falling for it again, and it was scary. It's just not good to expose the brain to that much dopamine... It makes everything else seem so dull. And it's not worth it, to get a few very vivid moments, in exchange for hours of dullness.

I’ve always struggled with porn addiction, since I was about 15 (I’m nearly 38 now).

But I’ve tried really hard to finally get better, it’s been about 1 year, with a lot of slip ups. But for the first time, I’ve been able to stay porn free for a month.

So I’m proud of myself for this, and going to keep trying to improve myself

I’m helping my boyfriend quit porn but I get worried he will relapse. It’s been two weeks since we started his journey with the help of therapy. He’s been watching all sorts of porn, straight, gay, solos men and women. But he said he is straight, he started watching gay stuff when one girlfriend of his sometime back introduced it to him and it grew on him. For the former porn addicts did you used to watch all sorts of porn?

Hi everyone. I'm 36 and have been in the recovery journey since my 20s. I don't quantify it too much by numbers any more but just qualitatively. For me urges seem to come in cycles. I'll have some weeks or even months without much thought of porn at all. But then some cravings can start to come in again. Right now I'm getting some cravings.

Last time I slipped, I definitely got some highs, but I remember clearly not liking where it led to. Basically the "vanilla" stuff got boring and then I wanted to look up more "hardcore" stuff, which just got really destructive really fast. And I just don't wanna go down that road again, even though in some moments, there can be that "strange mental blank spot" where I just forget the bigger picture and I just want that porn for that one moment. Then it kinda sets the porn cycle in motion.

And you know I just don't wanna go through that again. I've been through enough abstinence/slip cycles to be aware of the part of the cycle I'm in and where my choices from here could lead me. So this time I came here to write this instead of choosing to use porn.

Thanks for reading!

I’ll keep it as short as possible:
The real shift was changing my beliefs , and that’s something people seriously underestimate.

What I mean by “changing beliefs” is this:
Instead of saying “I’m an addict”, you start saying “I’m not an addict, addiction was something from my past, not who I am now.”

And you reinforce that new belief with daily writing to make it stick.

I felt uncontrollable urges today. But did not relapse. One day at a time...

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Focus on Something greater. That worthless feeling that weighs on you once you finish PMO, versus the victorious feeling of beating that urge. It’s a decision. Yes or no. It’s a choice. Choose NO.

Yesterday u/Jolly-Tea-9369 made an AMA. His situation and his age are close to mine. I usually quit, then relapse the next day. While reading his AMA, I just deleted all porn. I kinda forced myself to delete it. Now I made the first day. It was a bit challenging, but I made it. I am posting here so that I will make the second day. Deleting all porn was helpful, because it gave a space and not accessing it easily was somewhat reminder of my commitment.

It might sound trivial for you, but you cannot imagine how big this is for me.